Could you be a Househusband/Housewife?
- Thread starter Elfgore
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As this is pretty close to how I live right now, yeah I could be just a house husband. I have a job, only part time and my wife makes several times what I do. Since I have much more free time I do all the cooking, probably 90% of the housework and do most of the general life stuff that happens during the day. Haven't experienced any stigma regarding this so I'm not sure what people are talking about with that, although I'll admit that when we first started living like this I had to fight back some shame at not doing my part as a man.
Wanted to address the people who think that as a house spouse you are a slave, you have a super unhealthy attitude about relationships. For one, house work even in a home with just two people comes out to about 4 hours of work a day. Making meals (at least meals that are worth eating) keeping everything clean and doing general life maintenance is a job. Your mistake here is thinking of the money the bread winner makes as their money. When you're in a healthy relationship you're a team and everything is shared. Someone taking care of the home allows the wage earner the freedom to focus on their career and improves their quality of life. Similarly the work that the wage earner does improves the life of the spouse at home. I don't work for my wife and she doesn't earn money for me, we both do what we do for the team.
Wanted to address the people who think that as a house spouse you are a slave, you have a super unhealthy attitude about relationships. For one, house work even in a home with just two people comes out to about 4 hours of work a day. Making meals (at least meals that are worth eating) keeping everything clean and doing general life maintenance is a job. Your mistake here is thinking of the money the bread winner makes as their money. When you're in a healthy relationship you're a team and everything is shared. Someone taking care of the home allows the wage earner the freedom to focus on their career and improves their quality of life. Similarly the work that the wage earner does improves the life of the spouse at home. I don't work for my wife and she doesn't earn money for me, we both do what we do for the team.
I could easily be a house husband. I hate going outside, I hate dealing with people, I like to cook, I dislike cleaning (I'm a bit of a slob) but I can do it no problem, and if I don't have kids than I will still have plenty of time for hobbies, fun, and general lazing about. I also have pretty bad sleeping problems which make me have a hard time doing certain jobs and dealing with people. I can do housework safely and calmly even if I go days without sleep.
And if I did have kids, well, I like kids and would love to stay home with them.
I don't really care about losing respect from other men/women either. Like I stated above I hate dealing with people and generally don't give a damn about what they think or say. And if any other guy gives me shit about not being a man then i will prove him wrong with a sock to the jaw.
The manliest way to solve one's differences
And if I did have kids, well, I like kids and would love to stay home with them.
I don't really care about losing respect from other men/women either. Like I stated above I hate dealing with people and generally don't give a damn about what they think or say. And if any other guy gives me shit about not being a man then i will prove him wrong with a sock to the jaw.
The manliest way to solve one's differences
depends on factors, like the duration of being a househusband, if we have kids (and how many) and what my limits are on continuing my hobbies/education.
if I have to be a robot that just cooks/cleans/groceries all day err day 24/7 like a boss, then no, probably won't last very long, but if I get some leniency and get to continue my hobbies/career part time, then hell yes, that would be awesome and I would have no problem in it.
It's a "partner"ship, my better half will be doing what she does, being my better half, so hopefully I can hold the fort down while she is out kicking ass.
if I have to be a robot that just cooks/cleans/groceries all day err day 24/7 like a boss, then no, probably won't last very long, but if I get some leniency and get to continue my hobbies/career part time, then hell yes, that would be awesome and I would have no problem in it.
It's a "partner"ship, my better half will be doing what she does, being my better half, so hopefully I can hold the fort down while she is out kicking ass.
As far as I know being a house-spouse is the only thing I'm actually good at. I'm a caring person and I'm rather good at housework. It also feels quite satisfying, I feel in control. So yes, I wouldn't mind at all.
Sounds rather depressing honestly.
Not because being a househusband is inherently bad or something. Rather to spend your days doing something you've no real drive or enthusiasm for.
And I really have none for housework. I'll do it because I have to, but really no other reason than that. And doing that full-time? Sounds like a drag.
Also, I have to wonder. Although this probably says more about the amount of time and attention I spend on housekeeping than anything else. But how could one possibly spend an entire work-week, 40 hours, on housework? I don't see how you could conceivably spend more than one to two hours a day on housework if you're doing it daily (and thus never face situations where things haven't been cleaned in weeks). Even if you're taking kids into account and have to spend the afternoon taking case of those, you've still got about 6 hours a day from 9:00 to 15:00 to do housework, how would you possibly fill that time with useful work if all there is is cleaning a single house?
Not because being a househusband is inherently bad or something. Rather to spend your days doing something you've no real drive or enthusiasm for.
And I really have none for housework. I'll do it because I have to, but really no other reason than that. And doing that full-time? Sounds like a drag.
Also, I have to wonder. Although this probably says more about the amount of time and attention I spend on housekeeping than anything else. But how could one possibly spend an entire work-week, 40 hours, on housework? I don't see how you could conceivably spend more than one to two hours a day on housework if you're doing it daily (and thus never face situations where things haven't been cleaned in weeks). Even if you're taking kids into account and have to spend the afternoon taking case of those, you've still got about 6 hours a day from 9:00 to 15:00 to do housework, how would you possibly fill that time with useful work if all there is is cleaning a single house?
Coming from a guy? Hell yes I could, infact, I totally want to.
I'm one of those oddballs that likes cleaning and cooking. If you're asking me if I would enjoy to continue doing both of those things, while also married to the love of my life, and having her dealing with all those pesky interactions of the outside world and bring money back to me? How the hell could I say no?
I'm one of those oddballs that likes cleaning and cooking. If you're asking me if I would enjoy to continue doing both of those things, while also married to the love of my life, and having her dealing with all those pesky interactions of the outside world and bring money back to me? How the hell could I say no?
i would do this with no problems.
as a ex chef cooking is no issue and housework is easy,
and i would still have time for gaming.
as a ex chef cooking is no issue and housework is easy,
and i would still have time for gaming.
I could be a house husband, but then again I like staying at home and pottering about (health issues and introvertness aside). I'd be fine staying at home doing house work, since I find that to be relaxing for the most part, and keeping the missus happy.
I wouldn't mind, so long as I got to go around all day in nothing but an apron and underwear or a maid outfit. Hey, if I have to do the domestic work, I better at least get to do it in a kinky, idealized version of it.
Hell yes. I am completely okay with that.Elfgore said:
Maintainer of my domain and keeper of order are things I naturally gravitate towards.
We would have the most ridiculously efficient...everything.
My brain is just constantly grinding away in the background on new ways to optimize how I have things set up and how I do things. Mine is a world of shortest distances between two points, alphabetization, things at right angles, etc.
I've also seemingly inherited my parent's formidable interior design skills.
I would probably end up remodeling and upgrading all sorts of stuff.
I also have a knack for dealing with kids.
And I've inherited my mom's and her parents' cooking talents (German cooking FTW).
And I pretty much can't stand most people. Can't deal with living in the country where everyone is overly friendly and knows each others' business, and don't want to deal with the daytime masses of a city. So if I spend the day around the house and only go places in the anonymity of the city with the depleted population of the night...that's pretty ideal.
Honestly,it's sort of a minor dream of mine.I like having someone to take of and love cooking for people,it makes me happy.I enjoy my alone time and that's what that would give me.So yes I can easily be a housewife because my current girlfriend would make a terrible one.
Could I? Sure. I'd have no objection to having to take care of household chores and just generally puttering around the house all day. It's generally what I do when I don't have to work anyway, so it wouldn't really change my normal behavior any.
That said, I wouldn't do it anyway. I have this "thing" about being dependent on other people. I simply cannot stand not being entirely self-reliant (for life in a city anyway, I don't hunt and kill my food or whatever). It's one of the many reasons I refuse to ever go into debt for anything less than a mortgage (and even then, all of my spare income would be channeled into it to pay it off ASAP). I wouldn't be able to tolerate not working and earning my keep.
It's not really a matter of pride or whatever, because I couldn't care less if my wife made more money than me or had a better job or whatever else. I just refuse to be dependent on other people. I'm never satisfied with something unless I earn it, so I'd definitely not be able to take living on my wife's largesse.
That said, I wouldn't do it anyway. I have this "thing" about being dependent on other people. I simply cannot stand not being entirely self-reliant (for life in a city anyway, I don't hunt and kill my food or whatever). It's one of the many reasons I refuse to ever go into debt for anything less than a mortgage (and even then, all of my spare income would be channeled into it to pay it off ASAP). I wouldn't be able to tolerate not working and earning my keep.
It's not really a matter of pride or whatever, because I couldn't care less if my wife made more money than me or had a better job or whatever else. I just refuse to be dependent on other people. I'm never satisfied with something unless I earn it, so I'd definitely not be able to take living on my wife's largesse.
I'm 100% cool with being a househusband if it came down to it, whilst I don't relish taking on all household chores I'd hate to be cooped up in an office even more (i got big legs and spending hours sitting down without being able to freely move around makes me miserable) so would much prefer doing household chores as at least I can move around when doing them.
I got no particular issues about peeps thinking worst of me for not being the breadwinner, my family has always had a lot of strong female personalities (ex:my grandmother was getting a job and learning to drive at a time when women were usually not doing that kinda thing) so any insecurities I'd have would have nothing to do with gender.
I got no particular issues about peeps thinking worst of me for not being the breadwinner, my family has always had a lot of strong female personalities (ex:my grandmother was getting a job and learning to drive at a time when women were usually not doing that kinda thing) so any insecurities I'd have would have nothing to do with gender.
I'm married with two kids (3 year old boy and 7 month old girl). Right now, I work to make a living to support the family while my wife finishes up her degree. If she gets a job that pays better than or even equal to mine, I would have zero problem staying home with my son and daughter. I have never found career aspirations to be particularly motivating for me, as I'd rather spend time doing creative things, sharing with friends and family, and so on.
They're your children, so don't expect miracles.Fappy said:
OT: Seeing as my dream situation is living off of my writing, then sure. (In that scenario, I'd be very encouraging of my wife pursuing a career for her passion, because us just being at home together constantly just sounds unhealthy.)
I'd probably go out a lot, though. Start accruing as many out of house hobbies as possible. I hate being confined.
And I've always wanted to be able to cook fabulous meals, so that's a bonus.