I'll go ahead and say this is my micro-life story, a bit lengthy, and might diverge into a rant as I've gotten close to blowing a gasket.
So the story goes, me and two friends moved out recently, we're all 19. We moved into one of the two friends old grandparents house, that's now rented out to us since they passed. We've been here 3 months now. My one roommate is a fellow PC gamer, and quite the stoner (we all are, this isn't a judgement thread, so leave if you have an issue). While he can be on the lazy side he usually gets his stuff done, cleans up after himself, and he's really receptive to inconsiderate stuff and is open to criticism as long as it's pretty constructive.
Now my other roommate, almost a year younger, recently turned 19, is not the same. Not a gamer, not exactly mellow. I wouldn't say he's rambunctious. It's not like he's throwing parties or blaring music, but he's well, an idiot. He's always been closer to my other roommate, who knew him longer. Anyway, the things he does can seem sort of minor, but they add up, like I said I'm on the verge of, well, I don't know or want to know. He does the typical sort of roommate stuff, leaves the toothpaste/shampoo caps off. Then there's stuff like we all have shared and personal food, he'll ask for some of our personal food, since he doesn't seem to buy any for himself. When I say it's cool, just take a little, he'll take a lot. He does things like leave his hairbrush, headphones, hats, stuff like that all over the house. Leaves cups and dishes in the living room instead of bringing them into the dish washer. We have a rule with the trash can, if it's full, anything above the rims of it at all, and you take it out. Every night I come home from work, I see it full, the lid taken off, and it has stuff stacked on top of it. He leaves his shoes all over the house, I've counted at least 4 different pairs all strung about the house. We've also got one of those Brita filter pitchers, we have a very simple, very obvious rule about filling it, and that is; FUCKING FILL IT. He does not do this, but to top it off, leaves it out of the fridge, and sometimes leaves it in the living room.
There was this one situation, his birthday last month. Where he asked me and Other Roommate if he could throw a party. I said "It's not going to be my responsibility in the slightest, if I help with anything, it's because I'm bored. You also need to clean and make sure stuff doesn't get stolen." Dude doesn't clean a thing, leaves out a table with the oreos I bought, and the rest of our non refrigerated food. I disagree, he says he'll replace it all. I shrug, go whatever, go play some Dark Souls until I hear people here. We try and keep people out on our really big back patio, with our really big yard and firepit. Genius roommate invites people inside. I go and lock my laptop and such in my closet, go back to chilling outside. I play some beer pong, talk to some people, you know, super extra fun party stuff. Other Roommate comes to tell me that Roommate is gone. I leave to go find him, turns out he walked to his girlfriend's house. So Other Roommate stays inside to keep an eye on stuff. Everything goes alright, when Roommate get's back I expressed my anger, he shrugs it off and disappears. This was 3-4 hours before everyone left, he went into his room and fell asleep, essentially dumping the responsibility onto me and Other Roommate.
When we gave him crap about that, he just shrugged it off, he shrugs off all of the things we tell him. I feel like I live with a spoiled kid. He seems to think that this is HIS house and not OUR house. It's pretty clear he's still mentally an adolescent and he wasn't ready for this. I know I can't kick him out because Other Roommate wouldn't agree, we were going to kick him out when he lost his job (which he hid from me). He seems to be working again but I'm not sure because it seems like he's near always here. We both agreed we're really against him not working and getting the money from whatever other source he seems to have gotten it from. But that's that.
Anyway, if you made it this far I have to ask, am I overreacting, am I a dick? Am I the adolescent here? I know I can't continue to sink my own money into him, which is basically what's happening with this.
How do I deal with this sort of thing? It'd be great to have someone with experience with millennial like us to chime in on a thing or two. Thanks for any advice given and thanks for listening to me rant.
So the story goes, me and two friends moved out recently, we're all 19. We moved into one of the two friends old grandparents house, that's now rented out to us since they passed. We've been here 3 months now. My one roommate is a fellow PC gamer, and quite the stoner (we all are, this isn't a judgement thread, so leave if you have an issue). While he can be on the lazy side he usually gets his stuff done, cleans up after himself, and he's really receptive to inconsiderate stuff and is open to criticism as long as it's pretty constructive.
Now my other roommate, almost a year younger, recently turned 19, is not the same. Not a gamer, not exactly mellow. I wouldn't say he's rambunctious. It's not like he's throwing parties or blaring music, but he's well, an idiot. He's always been closer to my other roommate, who knew him longer. Anyway, the things he does can seem sort of minor, but they add up, like I said I'm on the verge of, well, I don't know or want to know. He does the typical sort of roommate stuff, leaves the toothpaste/shampoo caps off. Then there's stuff like we all have shared and personal food, he'll ask for some of our personal food, since he doesn't seem to buy any for himself. When I say it's cool, just take a little, he'll take a lot. He does things like leave his hairbrush, headphones, hats, stuff like that all over the house. Leaves cups and dishes in the living room instead of bringing them into the dish washer. We have a rule with the trash can, if it's full, anything above the rims of it at all, and you take it out. Every night I come home from work, I see it full, the lid taken off, and it has stuff stacked on top of it. He leaves his shoes all over the house, I've counted at least 4 different pairs all strung about the house. We've also got one of those Brita filter pitchers, we have a very simple, very obvious rule about filling it, and that is; FUCKING FILL IT. He does not do this, but to top it off, leaves it out of the fridge, and sometimes leaves it in the living room.
There was this one situation, his birthday last month. Where he asked me and Other Roommate if he could throw a party. I said "It's not going to be my responsibility in the slightest, if I help with anything, it's because I'm bored. You also need to clean and make sure stuff doesn't get stolen." Dude doesn't clean a thing, leaves out a table with the oreos I bought, and the rest of our non refrigerated food. I disagree, he says he'll replace it all. I shrug, go whatever, go play some Dark Souls until I hear people here. We try and keep people out on our really big back patio, with our really big yard and firepit. Genius roommate invites people inside. I go and lock my laptop and such in my closet, go back to chilling outside. I play some beer pong, talk to some people, you know, super extra fun party stuff. Other Roommate comes to tell me that Roommate is gone. I leave to go find him, turns out he walked to his girlfriend's house. So Other Roommate stays inside to keep an eye on stuff. Everything goes alright, when Roommate get's back I expressed my anger, he shrugs it off and disappears. This was 3-4 hours before everyone left, he went into his room and fell asleep, essentially dumping the responsibility onto me and Other Roommate.
When we gave him crap about that, he just shrugged it off, he shrugs off all of the things we tell him. I feel like I live with a spoiled kid. He seems to think that this is HIS house and not OUR house. It's pretty clear he's still mentally an adolescent and he wasn't ready for this. I know I can't kick him out because Other Roommate wouldn't agree, we were going to kick him out when he lost his job (which he hid from me). He seems to be working again but I'm not sure because it seems like he's near always here. We both agreed we're really against him not working and getting the money from whatever other source he seems to have gotten it from. But that's that.
Anyway, if you made it this far I have to ask, am I overreacting, am I a dick? Am I the adolescent here? I know I can't continue to sink my own money into him, which is basically what's happening with this.
How do I deal with this sort of thing? It'd be great to have someone with experience with millennial like us to chime in on a thing or two. Thanks for any advice given and thanks for listening to me rant.
