crazy old people
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The picture is awesomewill1182 said:My friends were going door-to-door for charity, and an old lady yelled at them for walking on her lawn. "Damn kids, get off my lawn! I paid good money for it, you want me to send you the bill? Back in my day..."
It fits the old person stereotype so well.
Except replace the cat with an old person.
The only old person I know are my grandparents.
They forget stuff. It's funny. Har Har.
Some person at my church works at Aerosmith. So on Black Friday two elderly woman came in and she politely said something along the lines of "buy one hoody you get another half off." One of the woman shrilly cried, "I BET YOU JACKED UP THE PRICES!" Despite how politely my churchmate said how Aerosmith did not raise the price, the woman didn't listen and left. Really, what the poop...
once when i was 10 i was playing basketball with some ohter kids in the park. I pass the ball to this kid but he wasn't paying attention and got whacked in the head. Then is grandpa or someone came out and starting cussing me out and telling me "you're a fuckin' moron" and "people like you will bring this country to hell". He got all red and look like his veins were abount to pop.
I hope i don't act like that when i'm old...
I hope i don't act like that when i'm old...
Okay I've got one but it's a bit more positive. And funny for me.
Okay, I used to go to Cubs, which you may or may not know is basically the younger kids version of Scouts. It was weird, looking back on it, but that's not the point. Anyway, there was this one kid there who taunted me to know end and, being considerably lighter and faster than I was, I couldn't do more than try and get the councilors involved (didn't work, surprise surprise). Anyway, my grandmother was the one taking me this one instance, since my parents were busy that day, and she saw this kid bothering me. Now, you have to understand, my grandmother is normally a fairly sober and nice person. She makes excellent soup, lives in a nice condo with my grandfather, had created more needlework than is likely required to coat Canada in socks and she very rarely gets upset (and when she does her usual reaction is cutting sarcasm). Neither had she (or has she, come to think of it) every exhibited the usual "old people are crazy" things. But in this case, she made an exception. She drives this kid around in front of her with her cane (which was odd, since I'd never seen her with a cane before that point and she hasn't used it in my sight ever since) up a tree, where he was forced to remain for a good half hour. I laughed SO hard...
Okay, I used to go to Cubs, which you may or may not know is basically the younger kids version of Scouts. It was weird, looking back on it, but that's not the point. Anyway, there was this one kid there who taunted me to know end and, being considerably lighter and faster than I was, I couldn't do more than try and get the councilors involved (didn't work, surprise surprise). Anyway, my grandmother was the one taking me this one instance, since my parents were busy that day, and she saw this kid bothering me. Now, you have to understand, my grandmother is normally a fairly sober and nice person. She makes excellent soup, lives in a nice condo with my grandfather, had created more needlework than is likely required to coat Canada in socks and she very rarely gets upset (and when she does her usual reaction is cutting sarcasm). Neither had she (or has she, come to think of it) every exhibited the usual "old people are crazy" things. But in this case, she made an exception. She drives this kid around in front of her with her cane (which was odd, since I'd never seen her with a cane before that point and she hasn't used it in my sight ever since) up a tree, where he was forced to remain for a good half hour. I laughed SO hard...
My grandmother (who is Hispanic) and I were talking one day when she said that she didn't trust the Irish. I said to her "Grandma, your husband was Irish, so Dad is part Irish, and so am I."
"Yeah, well for you and your dad the Mexican in you cancels out the Irish."
WTF?
"Yeah, well for you and your dad the Mexican in you cancels out the Irish."
WTF?
Once I was sat in McDonalds with my friends just eating lunch, an old guy walks out of the toilets, stands at the end of our table and drops his trousers grabs his balls and yells "YOU SMELL TOO!" kinda stared for a few seconds then waddled off talking to himself with his trousers round his ankles.
Yeah I have no idea either...
Yeah I have no idea either...
last summer I was backpacking with my girlfriend and we ran into these two Korean War veterans out canoeing around the boundary waters... Hung around for a bit and talked with them.
They were both in their mid 80's... each carrying 60+lb packs and their canoes. And they told some crazy stories about when they were our age... etc. Crazy, eccentric old timers... but also REALLY badass. I always hope that I will be able to keep myself in good shape so that I could still be that active when I'm that old
They were both in their mid 80's... each carrying 60+lb packs and their canoes. And they told some crazy stories about when they were our age... etc. Crazy, eccentric old timers... but also REALLY badass. I always hope that I will be able to keep myself in good shape so that I could still be that active when I'm that old
I have a grandmother is suffering from Alzheimer's. She's in the hospital right now because she attacked my grandfather (thinking he was an intruder), and is waiting to be placed in a nursing home. When I went to visit her at the hospital, she said to me:
"You need to help me escape!"
Me: "Nonna, it's ok, you're in the hospital. The nurses are here to help you."
Her: "No they aren't! They aren't Christian, you know that?"
Me: "Nonna, I'm sure at least some of them are Christians. Don't worry."
Her (yelling): "They're holding me here against my will! They kidnapped me! I've been kidnapped by a cult!"
Yes, my Nonna won't believe anyone that she's in the hospital in favour of believing she's been kidnapped by cultists. And for those of you who might say "OMG!!11!!eleventy! u r so meeeeeeen!! yer gammy is sick you catty *****! sho respekt!", keep in mind that you have no idea how much I love my grandmother, and if I didn't laugh about it I'd be too depressed to get out of bed.
"You need to help me escape!"
Me: "Nonna, it's ok, you're in the hospital. The nurses are here to help you."
Her: "No they aren't! They aren't Christian, you know that?"
Me: "Nonna, I'm sure at least some of them are Christians. Don't worry."
Her (yelling): "They're holding me here against my will! They kidnapped me! I've been kidnapped by a cult!"
Yes, my Nonna won't believe anyone that she's in the hospital in favour of believing she's been kidnapped by cultists. And for those of you who might say "OMG!!11!!eleventy! u r so meeeeeeen!! yer gammy is sick you catty *****! sho respekt!", keep in mind that you have no idea how much I love my grandmother, and if I didn't laugh about it I'd be too depressed to get out of bed.
I'm sort of looknig forward to getting old, so I can run out onto my porch without any pants on and yell at the local kids about something totally random and hard to follow.
I'll even get a musket, and sit on a rockingchair talking to a stuffed cat about "The good old days" while firing shots at any car that has rap music coming from it.
It's gonna be fucking AWESOME.
I'll even get a musket, and sit on a rockingchair talking to a stuffed cat about "The good old days" while firing shots at any car that has rap music coming from it.
It's gonna be fucking AWESOME.
