Crazy Roommate Stories

[CrimsonBlaze]

Before entering college, I was invited to spend a couple of weeks in the dorms to get a feel of what it would be like to actually live and study on campus.

There were a handful of people that I knew from school in the program and I decided to be a roommate of one of the guys that I had known the longest. On our first night, we had a small party to celebrate being in the program. There was alcohol, weed, and dancing, but I was only interested in the dancing and stayed away from the hard liquor and herb. I clocked out at around 12 am because we needed to wake up early the next day for orientation, and I last saw my roommate enjoying the booze and the girls.

Later that night, I saw my roommate creep into his bed and soon he feel asleep, to which I followed. I got up about 30 an hour before orientation and got ready. A few minutes late, my roommate woke up and I was surprised when I saw him.

All over his face and arms were words and images that were etched with a sharpie marker. He hadn't realized it, but I was laughing so hard that I nearly hit my head on the side of a drawer. I directed him to a mirror, as he was a little hang over, and he started cursing because he was afraid of having all this stuff visible during orientation.

Luckily, a damp towel was enough to clean the sharpie off, though it left the towel in a bit mess. As he went to make his bed, we soon notice a bigger mess in his sheets. A lot of the ink from the sharpie pen was all over the sheets, completely staining them into a lot of dark spots from him tossing and turning while he slept. We quickly put the sheets to be washed and it then became someone else's problem.

For the rest of the program, my roommate did not have a drop of alcohol, nor did he trust anyone else in the program.

 

[DANEgerous]

Another roommate also high put dish soap in place of dish washing liquid and folded our apartment with bubbles

Now that's not a bad idea....

OT: Nothing too crazy, except one guy who was clearly addicted to porn.

if you do this do it with the dishwasher empty as it will just make your dishes coated in soap rather than clean.

 

[Gabanuka]

snip

Have you ever had a roommate who wasn't high?

OT: I once shared a room with my cousin on holiday, she slept on the floor...

 

[Zhukov]

Oh yeah, do I ever.

There was this one guy I shared a house with last year. He was unemployed. He would introduce himself as "Rainbow Fox". (I only learned his real name when I was collecting his mail.) He used to say a lot of crazy stuff. I think his best moment was when he claimed that his father was a millionaire and the king of all Aboriginals (indigenous Australians) who was engaged in a war with the king of China over a kidnapped princess. Also, allegedly he could talk to centaurs.

Yeah... seriously.

He would tell all that to pretty much anyone who stood still long enough, and all with a completely straight face.

 

[DANEgerous]

snip

Have you ever had a roommate who wasn't high?

OT: I once shared a room with my cousin on holiday, she slept on the floor...

Only one and he still was on occasion buy all it did was make him want to play DDR or watch awesome movies. On the not of cousins the second and third roommates are mine, they have no common seance at all. They would do things like run the AC while broken to... waste money I suppose or cut chicken they way a barbarian would try to kill another man by slamming a knife into it the cook it "On high" for 3 minutes in the oven even though high is not a setting on the oven and wonder why it is still raw and think that i must be magic beacus i cooked it in the slow cooker for 6+ hours and it did not burn.

 

[Vicarious Reality]

You poor people actually had to share your inner sanctum with someone?

 

[Phantomess]

My best friend and I once shared our room with a stripper who insisted that she never used or even touched our stuff. There was one flaw in her argument - about a week after she moved in, my phone charger went missing. When I was on the early shift one morning, I noticed her phone was plugged into our powerboard... using my charger, which was covered in her gunky foundation. I carefully unplugged it, took the charger and locked it up (I have a Motorola phone, she had a Nokia. The charger was the Motorola one).
A few weeks later, I noticed my previously clean and well-cared for hair straightener (clean and well-cared for because I don't use it that often and it cost me a packet) out on the floor, the cord covered in foundation and the clip that held it closed broken off. When I asked her about it, she denied it. The problem with that is that neither my bestie or I wear foundation and our other roomie is a Filipino male chef.
The kick-her-out point came when my bestie left her bag on her bed one morning and went to the bathroom to conduct her usual ablutions. Upon her return, her wallet was missing, the stripper in her own bed. Now, we'd been out the night before and we both knew that she had around $70 left in her wallet. She returned to the bathroom with her clothes to change and came back to see the stripper climbing back into bed, the wallet sitting beside her bag. My bestie had a pink fit and demanded to know why she'd taken the money. The other girl flat-out denied it, but was eventually kicked out.
Some of her other antics involved turning the lights on at 7am (my mate and I start work at nine most mornings, but we value our sleep and our roomie finishes work at 1am), laying in bed at 2am and screaming down the phone at her then-boyfriend (she accused him of cheating on her) and spending the better part of everyday high as a kite. What a treasure.