Creative ways to annoy Cold Callers

[Erja_Perttu]

It's always annoying to to pick up the phone and have someone trying to sell you something.

I once told a telesales person I couldn't talk because I was in the middle of watching Die Hard (this was at eight in the morning). We laughed, he hung up and I haven't heard back from them. Maybe they though I was dropping a hint?

Do you have any creative ways of either getting them off the phone, or have any humorous situations ever come about from a cold caller?

 

[Tears of Blood]

Tell them you will need a moment and leave the phone off of the hook until they hang up.

Perhaps make some strange, disturbing sounds in the background that sound like violence or something.

 

[Jedamethis]

"Stay the fuck away from my family! *disturbing squelching noises*"

Usually works...

 

[cantthinkofausername]

You could buy a phone with a phone that lets you put them on hold with a song of your choice (if they have that) and set it to Never Gonna Give You Up then tell them the doorbell rang. Put them on hold and leave them there until they hang up.

EDIT: Or freak out and ask how they got your number, and pretend to be a secret organization for evil purposes.

 

[WrongSprite]

There was am amazing one on...radio I think?

Basically, they pretended it was a crime scene, and told the sales guy he was wanted for questioning. Somebody will post it soon.

 

[Guitarmasterx7]

I generally start talking to them like the topic is a completely different subject and then pretend like they're the weird one for being confused. like I'll just throw something completely random out like "Yeah, pan with sausage and pepperoni" and then when they act confused I'll be like "oh and I have a coupon so that should only be like, 11 bucks" and then when they try to explain what the hell they're doing I act pissed and ask to talk to their manager, and usually if they don't hang up on me I end up like, screaming at them.

Either that or I'll just talk to them, but I'll just speak out the lyrics to a song.

 

[walls of cetepedes]

There was am amazing one on...radio I think?

Basically, they pretended it was a crime scene, and told the sales guy he was wanted for questioning. Somebody will post it soon.

Oh man, I remember one like that!

Made my day.

OT: Well... that one.

 

[Idlemessiah]

I just say 'please hold' and leave the phone next to my speakers for a few minutes. Cold callers don't like metal.

 

[MarsProbe]

Well, I don't have any humerous ways of getting rid of them, I tend to just tell them I'm not interested, or if they happen to be particularly annoying (or from an Indian call centre ), just hang up the phone.

Though there was a time I got a call while I was in the middle of an online game of L4D. I had bitten the bullet so my character was languishing in a cupboard waiting to be rescued at the time the phone went.

When the girl on the phone asked if it I had time to talk, I said that it wasn't a very good time right now. She just laughed and said the usual scripted pleasantries before ending the call. Given that the sounds of gunfire and the screams of the various zombies could be heard clearly in the background, it makes me wonder what the caller thought was going on....

 

[cuddly_tomato]

Try to sell stuff to them.

 

[brodie21]

wait for them to finish whatever they are telling you and then say "sorry, i wasnt paying attention"

 

[Grayjack]

There was am amazing one on...radio I think?

Basically, they pretended it was a crime scene, and told the sales guy he was wanted for questioning. Somebody will post it soon.

This is it.

 

[Irridium]

Say, "I'm masturbating right now."

Then when they apologize I say "No, its alright, now if you could just moan for me for a bit a bit..."

Never heard back from them.

 

[Sewblon]

"Sorry, I am too busy masturbating to talk right now, but I would be happy to call you back if you would give me your home phone number."

 

[oliveira8]

The Seinfeld way?

 

[Optimus Hagrid]

"(my mother) no longer resides here.

Not ever since...

THE INCIDENT."

I said this once, it was hilarious.

 

[Smudge91]

This is.

Hahaha thats genious and the poor telesales guy hehe.

 

[Distorted Stu]

"Moo? Moo. Moo moo-moo-moo mooooo. Moo. MOO! Moo? Moo?! MOOOOOOO??!!!!"

Often works. I like to do the whole "Snake? Snake?! SNAAAAAAKKKEEEEE?!" on them, but it moo talk.