Families are together, friends are joyous with friends, work is filled with cheer, and radios will not stop playing the same
The problem is a fleeting sense of self-importance when the holidays roll around. You get a good idea of just how important you are, as a friend or companion, spouse or loved one, when the season hits the height. Suddenly, the people you would see once a week for drinks or coffee have postponed the weekly meeting until the new year's come, or those co-worker friends you occasionally spend time with suddenly have others they'd rather see.
It's a very disheartening thing to discover that, on occasion, you become "that" friend. The one you will spend time with, if s/he approaches you, or the one you'll spend the day with, if s/he happens to be there. Otherwise, you won't call that friend, you won't invite that friend, and you won't make any efforts for that friend. I know, as I've been in my share of groups with that friend, and while I bear no malice for this sorrowful individual, it's a part of grouping that one must come to understand. And the discovery is often tuned down slightly by the fact that not every group usually identifies you as "that" friend. So, no matter how the winter snows fall, you aren't always that friend.
Well... Most of the time.
http://afaq.files.wordpress.com/2007/12/lonely.jpg
This year, NewClassic has come to a rather disheartening conclusion. I'm that friend. The past five or six times I've been spending time with friends, I've rapidly been dismissed (with many apologies, sincere or otherwise) in favor of going to see a movie with someone else, or being swept aside in favor of other plans.
To be fair, most times it's in favor of people who've been out of town for months at a time, or family that's only in for the weekend. The problem is that it's so frequent. It seems like there's always somewhere else they'd rather be, than stuck shooting the breeze with not-so-old-man Nuke.
Be it because Nuke's always available, so no pressure to spend time is felt, or maybe because Nuke's a generally dislikable guy, I couldn't say. Something I do realize, when I look around close enough, is that for a guy who's spending a lot of time alone, there are three hells of a lot of me.
Everywhere, you can see that one guy walking around by himself, or the woman disparagingly checking her cell phone to see if someone is actually calling her (but is, in fact, the battery dying). It's amazing how such a crowded area can feel so cripplingly alone. And, scarily enough, there are hundreds, if not thousands of us, in any given city, doing the same thing we are.
But, perhaps I've spent too much time blathering about how lonely such a crowded world can feel, (while being rather self-absorbed in the process), and not enough time addressing the cause of the problem. Me.
And you.
Us.
We're the root cause of these problems. Every time we've decidedly not called someone, or gone out of our way to make sure someone wasn't informed of the party, we're contributing to the problem. Why aren't we taking more steps to remove "that friend" from the collection understanding. Why do we spend so long avoiding other people.
The thing that makes me think of it most is that I don't inherently dislikes all of my that friends, it's just that I don't find them entertaining. So, I call them because they aren't good. They aren't bad, they're often slightly better than decent, but I still don't make the effort? Why not?
http://www.alonsodr.com/gallery/d/1375-2/a_lonely_life.jpg
Something about the way the mind works, I suppose. Although, it does paint an oddly bleak picture on my understanding out how the human mind processes these things, or at least caters more to the "myself" than "everyone around me." How long have I been avoiding these people, and keeping them from being happy just because they aren't great? Who am I to judge?
So, I'm taking some steps to reduce my number of that friends, and increase my number of friends. I don't have to be the odd-man-out because I'm making myself, I can have more friends easily. Why subject myself, and them by proxy, to isolationism? Neither of us deserve it, so I'm taking steps to prevent it.
So, Escapists, how many of you have one or more of that friends? If so, why is/are s/he/they that way? Do you think you can ever change how you (sometimes fail to) approach these people?
Post-Script:
Apologies if this comes off as "Wah, wah, look at me." It just seemed a rather poignant way to introduce the idea, as that's how I came to this conclusion as well. In retrospect, it does look a little attention-mongering, for which I apologize. It will go unchanged; as it was a very effective tool for self-analysis and understanding.
Oh well at least we're not disliked. 
