D&D the peasant railgun?

[w-Jinksy]

so while i was spending some time running through 1d4chan i came across this recipe for peasent railgun:-

1. Hire a ton of peasants; let's just say that it is two thousand two hundred and eighty. Line them up in single file; this will form a chain of peasants two miles long. It'd be four miles back in MY day (witness me hiking up my 2nd Edition suspenders).

2. Buy a ladder. Just buy a standard, ten-foot ladder. Disassemble the ladder into a bunch of rungs and a pair of mighty ten-foot wooden poles. Hand a pole to the peasant at the back of line.

3. First round of combat. Peasant at the front of line readies an action to throw the pole at the enemy. Every peasant behind him readies an action to hand the pole to the peasant in front of him.

4. Next round: peasants fire off their readied actions, passing the pole two miles down the line and hurling it in six seconds or less. Pole accelerates to the speed of 1200 miles per hour, or a little less than Mach 2 at sea level.

5. Peasant Railgun can be reloaded and fired in less than 12 seconds.

6. ????? - Really, your choice. Weapon is scalable, you could use your peasant railgun to fire a number of things at a really long range. Add more peasants to make the weapons even faster; paint them red to make them fasta. Use gobbos to make a DnD grot cannon. Hurl pointy bombs for HEAT weapons. Severed heads make an impressive psychological warfare tool. It's even more wild with a bag of holding - place a team of fighters in it for DYNAMIC ENTRY over castle walls and shit, hurl some fucking bear cavalry directly into enemy lines, who knows. Combine this with the 15,000,000 gold-a-day trick and you're ready to absolutely ruin your DM's day.

7. Motherfucking PROFIT

does this work i mean seriously this sounds like such an awesome idea.

 

[Jandau]

Indeed, this seems a wondrous exploatation of rule loopholes. However, it is unlikely to ruin your DMs day unless he's a complete schmuck who lets you get away with everything.

If I were DMing and someone tried to pull this off, I'd have one of the peasants wander off to take a leak, one be too stupid to grab the pole (he's a PEASANT!), one start flirting with the peasant in front of him, one would forget to grab the pole, one would fall asleep, etc. And THAT'S assuming I LET the player in question round up a few hundred peasants in the first place. Heck, I'd probably have the local lord dispatch a battalion of elite guards to quell the alleged "peasant revolt" and proceed to slaughter the peasants in question.

Basically, you can't ruin a good GMs day, you can only provide him with an excuse to make your life a living hell.

 

[pantsoffdanceoff]

I agree with the above posts, that's literally asking your DM for a cave-in, lightning to hit all your characters at once, a nearby star to explode... etc.

 

[w-Jinksy]

Indeed, this seems a wondrous exploatation of rule loopholes. However, it is unlikely to ruin your DMs day unless he's a complete schmuck who lets you get away with everything.

If I were DMing and someone tried to pull this off, I'd have one of the peasants wander off to take a leak, one be too stupid to grab the pole (he's a PEASANT!), one start flirting with the peasant in front of him, one would forget to grab the pole, one would fall asleep, etc. And THAT'S assuming I LET the player in question round up a few hundred peasants in the first place. Heck, I'd probably have the local lord dispatch a battalion of elite guards to quell the alleged "peasant revolt" and proceed to slaughter the peasants in question.

Basically, you can't ruin a good GMs day, you can only provide him with an excuse to make your life a living hell.

i still thought it was a funny and the whole idea of using it as siege weaponry to launch people over walls was hilarious.

 

[True Nero]

Oh. My. God....

you sir, deserve a cookie for you just blew my mind.

 

[Ernstige Jan]

Brilliant! Me and my friends are currently at war with another country in D&D and this is the ultimate weapon. Those peasants don't have anything else to do in war anyways.

 

[j0z]

Cool idea, but it wouldn't work because the GM would sabotage it relentlessly

 

[w-Jinksy]

Brilliant! Me and my friends are currently at war with another country in D&D and this is the ultimate weapon. Those peasants don't have anything else to do in war anyways.

well peasants always serve as good human shields much better human sheilds than imperial gaurd (40k references :3)

 

[Gitsnik]

Indeed, this seems a wondrous exploatation of rule loopholes. However, it is unlikely to ruin your DMs day unless he's a complete schmuck who lets you get away with everything.

If I were DMing and someone tried to pull this off, I'd have one of the peasants wander off to take a leak, one be too stupid to grab the pole (he's a PEASANT!), one start flirting with the peasant in front of him, one would forget to grab the pole, one would fall asleep, etc. And THAT'S assuming I LET the player in question round up a few hundred peasants in the first place. Heck, I'd probably have the local lord dispatch a battalion of elite guards to quell the alleged "peasant revolt" and proceed to slaughter the peasants in question.

Basically, you can't ruin a good GMs day, you can only provide him with an excuse to make your life a living hell.

Agreed. But if it was me I'd probably let a player get away with it just once.

Besides which, having a bunch of peasants kill a colossal would be almost as hilarious as watching the player make 2,280 fumble rolls.

 

[Altorin]

If you're seeing those peasants as just Readied Throw Actions, you're playing it wrong.

And as for peasants not having anything to do in a war... Armies march on their stomachs for one thing.. Peasants need to farm the food to feed the armies, and even just being there can give a morale boost to a good army.. a Good Army doesn't fight for itself, or other military types, it fights for the lowest man.

 

[Da_Schwartz]

I don't understand how passing it through the hands of 2,280 peasants would make it go 1200 miles an hour...and you can't do this in one round wether they're cued or not. For one person to draw a weapon,pass something or drink a potion whaetever is half a round, it counts as an action.. so your talking 1,140 rounds to do this. Or 114 turns...o.0 I don't get it. Either that or you have a terrible dm.

I don't understand, am i the only one that doesn't get this?

 

[w-Jinksy]

I don't understand how passing it through the hands of 2,280 peasants would make it go 1200 miles an hour...and you can't do this in one round wether they're cued or not. For one person to draw a weapon,pass something or drink a potion whaetever is half a round, it counts as an action.. so your talking 600 rounds to do this. o.0 I don't get it. Either that or you have a terrible dm.

read the original post carefull i got this off 1d4chan possibly used in one of the older editions or something.

 

[ohgodalex]

Basically, you can't ruin a good GMs day, you can only provide him with an excuse to make your life a living hell.

This.
When I was a GM, if the players messed around I'd just decide that all the objects near them were evil and animated. Problem solved.

 

[Chipperz]

Yeah, try that in a game I run, I dare ya!

This entire thing stinks of "because I can". IF it works, it will inevitably foreshadow you being attacked by a drqagon. Because I can, too...

 

[Logan Westbrook]

This is one of those situations where sense should take priority over the rules.

 

[Rodger]

Its fun what can be done when you abuse the rules in D&D, 3rd edition specifically. Personally, my favorite is turning the Locate City spell into a bomb that will wipe out everything that doesn't have improved evasion AND makes the save within an [x] mile radius where [x] is the character's caster level x 100.

The spell itself normally does exactly what the name implies.

 

[Flour]

I wonder what the damage would be, if a DM actually allowed this.
I don't play D&D, but after reading somewhere that there is a set of rules for thrown weapons I'm wondering if every peasant adds damage, or that even after passing through 2000 actions it still does the damage from the last peasant who throws it.(don't think there's a speed rule)

If the DM wanted to be an ass, he or she would make you roll if each peasant grabs the pole and then make the pole do the lowest amount of damage possible.