Dare I??

[Parkway91]

So I'm thinking of introducing myself to this lass (over Facebook as I have never met her but she has cropped up in my news feed from other friends and such). I have also been informed she is an ex of one of my friends. Now this friend I would not put in my top group of friends but I get along well this guy and such but as I said, wouldn't be in my top friends.

What my question is, is it okay for me to go ahead for this lass or not seeing as it is an ex of friend, but this friend is not a 'best friend'??

I am by no means a woman stealer, quite the opposite, I am very reserved and shy.

Just seeking some opinions...

 

[Smooth Operator]

Never hurts to meet new people, noone said anything definitive will come of it so just go with the flow and see where it ends up.

You also might broaden your search, this does sound like grasping at dating chance straws.

 

[Parkway91]

Thanks, yeah, my last serious relationship was with someone who was quite different from myself so I am being somewhat picky and seeking someone with more similar interests as myself. But as I said before, I am quite reserved and shy, and yes I have noticed that I seem to settle on one and focus all efforts on going after that one person, recently had that happen and things didn't evolve as I hoped they would and took a little blow the self esteem.

 

[EeveeElectro]

You're not a woman stealer if they're an ex...
If he's bothered by you being his friend that's just immature. Pretty sure it's only 13 year old girls that do stuff like that >_>
It wouldn't hurt introducing yourself. She might not be what you're looking for, but there's no harm trying.

 

[Bertylicious]

To quote David Lister:

"Life doesn't give many opportunities for happiness so you've got to grab every one."

 

[artanis_neravar]

So I'm thinking of introducing myself to this lass (over Facebook as I have never met her but she has cropped up in my news feed from other friends and such). I have also been informed she is an ex of one of my friends. Now this friend I would not put in my top group of friends but I get along well this guy and such but as I said, wouldn't be in my top friends.

What my question is, is it okay for me to go ahead for this lass or not seeing as it is an ex of friend, but this friend is not a 'best friend'??

I am by no means a woman stealer, quite the opposite, I am very reserved and shy.

Just seeking some opinions...

She is his ex, he has no claim over who she can and can't date. Unless he is still madly in love with her go for it. And even if he is, there is nothing stopping you from going for it anyway

 

[Parkway91]

Thanks everyone, this is helping lots. Now to shoo away my shyness, take a big gulp of confidence and give it a go. We are all adults, if he has a problem it's just being immature. I still welcome others opinions.

 

[Angie7F]

Go for it.
You cant expect all your friends to date totally unrelated people all the time.

 

[Galletea]

Worst case scenario, she doesn't want to know, and she blocks you or something.
So go for it.

 

[Zantos]

There are very important rules for this sort of behaviour. Take the number of years they were together and multiply by three, that's the number of months after their break up that it's acceptable to go for. So if they were together for a year, you have to wait three months.

You also have to obey other fundamental laws, such as the "half your age, plus seven" rule.

 

[Parkway91]

Thanks guys, this is helping with the decision making, especially this quote

To quote David Lister:

"Life doesn't give many opportunities for happiness so you've got to grab every one."

Exactly my point and case for this conundrum.

Also, the age thing (half and add 7) is in the 'go zone'.

One more thing, should I ask my mate if I can ask her out?? I'm thinking no, because who is he to have a say in whom I date, right??

 

[Zantos]

One more thing, should I ask my mate if I can ask her out?? I'm thinking no, because who is he to have a say in whom I date, right??

I'd inform him after you've done it, but don't make it sound like he actually has any say in what happens.

 

[Bertylicious]

One more thing, should I ask my mate if I can ask her out?? I'm thinking no, because who is he to have a say in whom I date, right??

I'd inform him after you've done it, but don't make it sound like he actually has any say in what happens.

I guess that depends on your friend; if you feel that he will take your going out with this girl to heart then you should perhaps talk to him about it however if you only feel like you may be compelled to because of pop culture references then I shouldn't worry about it overly much.

Actually, thinking about it, you should probably have a conversation with him after you've asked her out in any case. You don't need to ask his permission, he doesn't own her and your heart wants what it wants, but he is your friend and you should discuss his feelings so that he can process them like a grown up.

 

[Parkway91]

I think I shall go for it, worst possible scenario is a no, which hurts, but I will get over it. But I like to be optimistic and she will be all for it. So now I ask one last (hopefully) question, how should I go about introducing myself to a lass I have never met without sounding like a massive creep...??

PS. I have only seen her from friends liking her posts and her appearing in my newsfeed??