Dark humor

[knight steel]

Dear escapist this thread is for all of you to write down you dark,cruel jokes.Anything from dead people to animal abuse.I will start:What's worse than a person nailed to a tree,a person nailed to 10 tree's.

P.S.Dear mod's if this thread is against the rules or you think it is not needed please lock it.

 

[EeveeElectro]

Oh no...

 

[DrunkWithPower]

Eh, I have nothing. In Russia, gun shoots you.

 

[Artemis923]

This thread is a dark, cruel joke.

 

[Torque669]

http://www.sickipedia.org/

That is all.

 

[Cpt_Oblivious]

http://www.sickipedia.org/

That is all.

Gah! Beaten to it.

Anyway, if people do post, spoiler the jokes to save people.

 

[CrazyBerk]

In before lock and dead baby jokes! Chaching!

 

[Samurai Goomba]

I thought this was going to be a topic about dark humor in video games, in which case I would have nominated Blood Money and The Punisher.

This though, is just... Ech.

Go read the Cyanide and Happiness Depressing Comic Week if you like dark humor so much.

 

[Gaderael]

Dear escapist this thread is for all of you to write down you dark,cruel jokes.Anything from dead people to animal abuse.I will start:What's worse than a person nailed to a tree,a person nailed to 10 tree's.

I like that one, except replace person with baby, and nailed to a tree with found in a dumpster.

Anyway.
What's the worst thing about eating a vegetable?

Spoiler: I'm going to get flamed so bad for this

Swallowing the wheelchair

What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?

Spoiler: He said dark humour people, remember that!

Cancer

 

[cleverlymadeup]

ummm dark humour is not about people dying. you should really go look up what dark humour is

 

[Kiutu]

I like my martinis the way I like my babies, shaken, not stirred. (own creation that my dad found particularly amusing)

 

[TheThinker]

Well theres this...

...he's...

... carrot like... ... on three queens and a donkey!

... and then the Mexican said Well that's what they call a hoodwinks daisy..

Damn it, my humor is so dark that human eyes can't read it off a screen. And yes, I do wish this forum had a black background so what I just wrote made sense.

 

[BonsaiK]

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?

A. To lock the thread about dark humour.

 

[Asickorphan]

Watch "Happy Tree Friends" thats realy dark! And gory! Also bloody! XD

 

[Fritzvalt]

So, whenever I see someone in a wheelchair, I get the urge to kidnap them. Not because I have anything against wheelchairs or might fancy such a collection, it just seems like there's very little they can do to stop me.

Does that qualify as dark humor? I mean, I know plenty of horrible jokes concerning babies and zombie, and an amusing pair about clowns, but I thought I'd keep it classy.

 

[Random Argument Man]

Happy Birthday! You're one year closer to death. It's something very...dark...on a happy day.

 

[KaiRai]

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?

A. To lock the thread about dark humour.

Yeah pretty much this. I can see a mod finding this thread and going apeshit.

 

[manicfoot]

Love me some dark humour Also love anti-jokes:
A man walks into a bar. He stays there the whole night, stumbles home, passes out on his bed and chokes to death on his own vomit.

 

[oppp7]

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and GLaDOs?

GLaDOs is "Still Alive"

 

[JUMBO PALACE]

Kurt Vonnegut. Read.