A while ago I made a thread here asking for advice on how I can properly meet girls at university and I want to thank those who gave me advice as it sort of work as I joined the fencing club at my uni and I was able to make friends with a girl who I had a crush on for a couple of months now. Although the only times I have a chance to talk to her is during fencing and in our politics lecture and I don't know if she is seeing someone already. So I need advice on how to improve my chances of going out with her and when it would be appropriate to ask her out (nothing special really just if she wanted to have lunch with me sometime). So please Escapists, help me.
Dating advice
- Thread starter Kitsune Hunter
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I'd start with asking her this question. Your chances of going out with someone improve dramatically when you actually ask them out.Kitsune Hunter said:
you say you made friends with her. it's not weird for friends to aks what's going on in their friends' love life... part of getting to know people, right?
The moment you start looking at a date as if it was a list of objectives to accomplish, you've already failed.
This is between you and her, none us will know the "perfect time" to ask her out. Actually, the "perfect time" doesn't even exist. You really have to trust your own judgement.
This is between you and her, none us will know the "perfect time" to ask her out. Actually, the "perfect time" doesn't even exist. You really have to trust your own judgement.
Well I talk to her about twice a week so far, I introduced myself to her on Halloween last week, I mainly talk to her at fencing and our politics lectures. We talked for a good period of time at first and she told me her name first then i told her my plus she helped me with my fencing for a bit, the next day she sat behind at our lecture and wondered if I got home OK after fencing, so I guess that's a good sign. I know what you're getting at, I thought I could use the lunch option as a chance for us to get to know each other, but I'm worried that as you said it might let slip how I feel about her and could scare her off and I don't want that, but I'm worried that if I don't act now that someone else who might be interested in her will make the first move. So should I leave the lunch option for at least another month and just talk to her so that as you say, she will be more familiar around me.Aylaine said:How often do you both talk? Does she talk to you first, or show any kind of interest at all? Even just friendly interest is a good indication. If she notices you enough to interact with you on her own, or for good periods of time, then I would ask her. Generally, people want to feel a degree of familiarity with someone else before they hang out with them. Once you've reached that point, then I would ask her out to lunch. Make sure it's lunch though, or dinner, or an activity where you can talk to her about herself & relate/discover what she's really like. A lot of people go the movie route, but if nothing happens after the movie, then you've made no progress.
Just something to keep in mind.
I hope this helps!
I usually find that without familiarity the lunch thing goes a little better? It just feels a little more casual i guess? with familiarity with someone i like i usually talk less coherently and say more stupid things at a higher percentage rate because i'm trying a little bit too hard i guess?. I'd be inclined to say do ask her out to lunch but just remain calm. Lunch is just lunch until you make it otherwise.
Also you mentioned lectures so i assume your at college? try taking a walk around campus with her, just an idle wander, i find i'm more calm, more myself and more interesting when i'm walking around.
Don't psyche yourself out worrying about other people that may or may not be in her life though, that's the route of madness.
Also you mentioned lectures so i assume your at college? try taking a walk around campus with her, just an idle wander, i find i'm more calm, more myself and more interesting when i'm walking around.
Don't psyche yourself out worrying about other people that may or may not be in her life though, that's the route of madness.
Rule nr. 1:
Never ever ask about relationship status.
Ever.
If she is unavailable she will tell you.
Aside from that, do you actually talk to her during practice and in class? Talk as in conversation and joking around a bit?
If you have those easygoing interactions already it shouldn't be a problem to ask her out for lunch, ask if she's available Saturday in 2-3 weeks time.
Other than that; Aylaine has you covered.
EDIT:
Okay, so I just reread the thread, a bit more carefully this time:
Since she shows interest in your general well-being you absolutely can ask her out to lunch in 2 weeks time. Saturday 17th. Far enough away that she hopefully doesn't have plans yet close enough to get things going. Also gives you a week and half to get a little extra time with her in an environment where you both are completely at ease. IE lectures and practice. And it also gives you a little time to test the waters, throw a few compliments her way and so on and so forth.
Never ever ask about relationship status.
Ever.
If she is unavailable she will tell you.
Aside from that, do you actually talk to her during practice and in class? Talk as in conversation and joking around a bit?
If you have those easygoing interactions already it shouldn't be a problem to ask her out for lunch, ask if she's available Saturday in 2-3 weeks time.
Other than that; Aylaine has you covered.
EDIT:
Okay, so I just reread the thread, a bit more carefully this time:
Since she shows interest in your general well-being you absolutely can ask her out to lunch in 2 weeks time. Saturday 17th. Far enough away that she hopefully doesn't have plans yet close enough to get things going. Also gives you a week and half to get a little extra time with her in an environment where you both are completely at ease. IE lectures and practice. And it also gives you a little time to test the waters, throw a few compliments her way and so on and so forth.