Dating: Age Gaps and You
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I would seriously wonder why you would want to, anyway. There comes a point of diminishing returns on age difference, but a 17 year old is still growing, physically and mentally. They're not done cooking, and legally dating a child is still dating a child.Phasmal said:
Though my SO is nearly 8 years my junior. So take that condemnation for what it's worth.
In fairness, if I had been 18 or even 28 when we met, I would not have dated them then and they would likely not be my SO now. But I'm also only a couple of years removed from being middle aged at this point, so 8 years doesn't carry as much weight.
Hell, in some countries/jurisdictions, there are different ages for different same-sex pairings, or even different acts.Parasondox said:
If they are both of legal age I really don't give a rats ass. When I was 16 I saw that most girls my own age usually dates guys well into their 20's and nobody really bats an eye at this, it's nothing out of the ordinary. Now personally, being over 30 now, I don't go looking for anyone that really under 24, or more specifically, are done with school and working.
Meh. So long as they are happy with each other, and it is legal, then cool. I don't really care. I mean sure, I might find it weird if an 18 year old starts dating someone in their 40's, but hell, more power to them, I guess.
For me, I really follow the same rule. So long as I am happy with who I am with, age isn't really a factor that I consider. That being said, I cant really see myself dating someone much older (or younger, when it applies) than I am, so it isn't really an issue.
For me, I really follow the same rule. So long as I am happy with who I am with, age isn't really a factor that I consider. That being said, I cant really see myself dating someone much older (or younger, when it applies) than I am, so it isn't really an issue.
Ah, but did they told those guys that they were 16? Because when I went to school, I also know girls 15/16 (scarily 14 a few months or weeks away from 15) who would lie just to go out with that older guy in their 20's. Pretty illegal and outside of the school uniform, they didn't look their age. Make up does some scary things.Michel Henzel said:
I was 15 when I started dating my girlfriend, who was almost two years older than I was at the time. Not a huge difference, but hey, I was still young. Every once in a while we'd be at the butt end of some "jailbait" and "robbing the cradle" jokes, but it was never anything serious. I guess were about at the same level of maturity, and we were both new at the whole relationship thing, so age was never an obstacle. We've been together for 8 years now, take that for what you will.
I obviously haven't been around enough to say for sure, but I'd say that it's a case-by-case basis. Age is not always an exact measure of one's maturity. Nor is experience, for that matter.
I obviously haven't been around enough to say for sure, but I'd say that it's a case-by-case basis. Age is not always an exact measure of one's maturity. Nor is experience, for that matter.
I am on the verge of being forty years of age and dating is somewhat troubling for me.
Now I don't like children, I loathe them in fact, and finding a women around my age without kids is something that to this point I have found impossible.
Also I work in the service industry here in the UK and most of the female employees are either your managers and already married or twenty years younger than me and would make me feel like a cradle snatcher.
Now I don't like children, I loathe them in fact, and finding a women around my age without kids is something that to this point I have found impossible.
Also I work in the service industry here in the UK and most of the female employees are either your managers and already married or twenty years younger than me and would make me feel like a cradle snatcher.
Im 27. I would be perfectly comfortable dating a women up to 60. I chose 60 because my mom is 61 and dating someone her age is weird ( yes thats where i draw the line). Now at the moment im in a standard relationship, however, i have dated and slept with older women back in my prime. My current gf is 8 years older than i am.
It really depends on the people. Ill be honest, i find women under 25 obnoxious. Few life experiences couples with high unrealistic expectation of everything = a bad time. I personally value maturity over impulsiveness. I was actually having a conversation with a 21 year old girl and i swear to god i wanted to bash my head on a brick wall, it would have been less painful.But it really depends on the person. Maybe i just have mommy issues who knows.
Also i resent you thinking it was the man persuing the young girl and not the otherway around. Like a 26 year old could got tricked into dating this guy.
On a side note. Sex with 20 year olds suck in comparison. Seriously, i would definitely suggest that every guy hooks up with a classy " mature" women at least once in his life, because holy shit that stuff is on a whole other level. A 10 year gap in experience is a lot .
It really depends on the people. Ill be honest, i find women under 25 obnoxious. Few life experiences couples with high unrealistic expectation of everything = a bad time. I personally value maturity over impulsiveness. I was actually having a conversation with a 21 year old girl and i swear to god i wanted to bash my head on a brick wall, it would have been less painful.But it really depends on the person. Maybe i just have mommy issues who knows.
Also i resent you thinking it was the man persuing the young girl and not the otherway around. Like a 26 year old could got tricked into dating this guy.
On a side note. Sex with 20 year olds suck in comparison. Seriously, i would definitely suggest that every guy hooks up with a classy " mature" women at least once in his life, because holy shit that stuff is on a whole other level. A 10 year gap in experience is a lot .
Mid-30's and married to someone 7 years younger.
I used to tie a lot to age, believe in that 7 year rule etc. as I get older, it just seems to be a number, as long as the two of you click together, fuck numbers.
I used to tie a lot to age, believe in that 7 year rule etc. as I get older, it just seems to be a number, as long as the two of you click together, fuck numbers.
I can't say for sure, but I'm sure most will not have lied, cause like I said, this is nothing that is out of the ordinary really, atleast for us here in the Netherlands. And since girl often mentally mature much faster than boys do it's not that strange that you find them dating guys several years older than themselves.Parasondox said:
Netherlands? Yeah it must be different there. I am speaking from a UK perspective and what I have seen, witnessed and hear. Maturity does play a key in the attraction of a partner for some.
Eh, it's like this in parts of Canada too. I can recall in highschool plenty of chicks at 16 or 17, who dated dudes in their mid 20s. A guy with a truck, steady job, and his own place, are highly attractive for some young women. Can't say I really agree with it, as it doesn't turn out well in many cases, but yeah, it's just what I've observed.Michel Henzel said:
Netherlands? Yeah it must be different there. I am speaking from a UK perspective and what I have seen, witnessed and hear. Maturity does play a key in the attraction of a partner for some.Michel Henzel said:
Mid 20s here.
Together with a 6 months older woman, but the year is still different.
I would not go under 20, and even my brothers and a few friends girfriends whom are 20/21/22 do not seem mature enough for me to be dating them. Althou that might differ from person to person of course.
Older, I guess I could go a bit older as well. Over 35, so a 9-11 year difference would feel like a very max for me when I think about it. At this stage of my life at least, but who knows.
Together with a 6 months older woman, but the year is still different.
I would not go under 20, and even my brothers and a few friends girfriends whom are 20/21/22 do not seem mature enough for me to be dating them. Althou that might differ from person to person of course.
Older, I guess I could go a bit older as well. Over 35, so a 9-11 year difference would feel like a very max for me when I think about it. At this stage of my life at least, but who knows.
I'm used to dating girls 2 years younger than I am. Oldest girl I've dated was 5 days older than me.
That's where my current line is. I imagine my "boundary" will grow since meeting and dating people isn't going to get any easier.
That's where my current line is. I imagine my "boundary" will grow since meeting and dating people isn't going to get any easier.
It depends on age for me. Like under 18, I wouldn't be comfortable with an age gap over a year, over 18 (ie the younger person is 18) I'd probably say 3 years is fine, over 21 5 years, and then past that it doesn't really matter, although I'd err between 7 and 10 years. I guess it depends on the people and their mindsets, although I don't feel under 18s should be dating people much older than themselves.
Whoever came up with that "half my age plus 7" just wanted a reason to judge people. So that's like at least as bad as Hitler.
Eh, case by case and statistics for some "fun facts". I think it's important to acknowledge the age gap if one exists, because I bet a lot of couples are ready to hand-wave it completely. It might not be a big deal but it's still a deal to be dealt with.
Also not older than my mother. Then again I've never dated anyone so my opinion doesn't matter and it's probably not relevant even to myself. Meh.
Eh, case by case and statistics for some "fun facts". I think it's important to acknowledge the age gap if one exists, because I bet a lot of couples are ready to hand-wave it completely. It might not be a big deal but it's still a deal to be dealt with.
Also not older than my mother. Then again I've never dated anyone so my opinion doesn't matter and it's probably not relevant even to myself. Meh.
I can't say I have the highest opinion of people dating too far out of their age range.
I have a friend who is/(was?) dating someone older than her own mother. I find that kind of unsettling at best, and sleazy at worst. At least in my experience when you get age gaps that wide it's usually with a girl who feels like she's far more mature than the other people her age, with a guy who's far less mature than other people his age and just wants a young piece of ass.
In general, I think it's a recipe for a bad relationship. If one of the parties is actually mature for their age, eventually enough time will pass that they realize that the person they're with is immature for their age, or they'll no longer be attractive enough for them to be the young piece of ass the older guy wants.
With a 20 year age gap, there's going to be major differences between your life experience, your wealth, and various other aspects. When I was 20, I wouldn't have dated a high schooler, there's just so much change that happens in those couple years of your life. At 24 and graduating from university, I would be hesitant to date a 20 year old. Someone 20-30 years younger is unfathomable to me. You'd be at totally different places in your life, and one is going to be thrust back or forward to wherever the happens to be.
I might have a better opinion of it if I hadn't seen a number of people in relationships with large age gaps. One friend was dating a 40 year old guy when she was 15, only to come out of it feeling horribly manipulated and taken advantage of. Another was a Korean girl whose parents would constantly set her up on dates with successful men in their 30's while she was 15. Then there's the aforementioned girl who was dating a guy who could realistically be her dad.
Just as far as I've seen, when you get large age gaps at least one party isn't in it for the personality or compatibility. Either they want your success, youth, or something else.
At this point in my life I wouldn't date someone more than a couple years off of me, with more years on the upper end than the lower. As I get older I imagine that gap will get wider, but still not by that much
I have a friend who is/(was?) dating someone older than her own mother. I find that kind of unsettling at best, and sleazy at worst. At least in my experience when you get age gaps that wide it's usually with a girl who feels like she's far more mature than the other people her age, with a guy who's far less mature than other people his age and just wants a young piece of ass.
In general, I think it's a recipe for a bad relationship. If one of the parties is actually mature for their age, eventually enough time will pass that they realize that the person they're with is immature for their age, or they'll no longer be attractive enough for them to be the young piece of ass the older guy wants.
With a 20 year age gap, there's going to be major differences between your life experience, your wealth, and various other aspects. When I was 20, I wouldn't have dated a high schooler, there's just so much change that happens in those couple years of your life. At 24 and graduating from university, I would be hesitant to date a 20 year old. Someone 20-30 years younger is unfathomable to me. You'd be at totally different places in your life, and one is going to be thrust back or forward to wherever the happens to be.
I might have a better opinion of it if I hadn't seen a number of people in relationships with large age gaps. One friend was dating a 40 year old guy when she was 15, only to come out of it feeling horribly manipulated and taken advantage of. Another was a Korean girl whose parents would constantly set her up on dates with successful men in their 30's while she was 15. Then there's the aforementioned girl who was dating a guy who could realistically be her dad.
Just as far as I've seen, when you get large age gaps at least one party isn't in it for the personality or compatibility. Either they want your success, youth, or something else.
At this point in my life I wouldn't date someone more than a couple years off of me, with more years on the upper end than the lower. As I get older I imagine that gap will get wider, but still not by that much