Dating Sims
- Thread starter Mark J Kline
- Start date
I'm glad for this guy that he clearly *wants* to be successful with women, and hasn't yet blamed all his difficulties on them. There are too many people out there (on both sides of the relationship/gender fence) who have, perhaps, low self-esteem, or social problems, and instead of working to overcome them, seek the easy way out in blaming the other person for their own shortcomings. Much good advice has been given on how this dude can become happier, so I won't repeat it, but I'd like to say good luck to him (genuinely), and that I hope he works things out and finds a better place, relationship-wise. =)
As tautologico notes, there is a difference between being introverted and having "avoidance issues." In the statement which seems to have offended some of you, I was referring to the latter, not the former. Gaming can become one of a vast number of habits people fall into to avoid some unpleasant real life obligation or developmental task. This really isn't a comment on gaming in particular, except that it can be a very effective means of avoidance for some people.
I have more hope for folks who recognize their avoidance and are conflicted about it, as this writer clearly is. Conflict and discomfort about a habit often come with motivation to change. Often, spouses, parents, teachers, and counselors are the ones who carry the fire for change, while the avoider is more comfortable with a soothing escape.
Introversion is simply a personality style which may well be dispositional. I've known plenty of perfectly nice introverts who prefer to spend more time on their own and are happy that way. Many are capable of very satisfying relationships and limited social interaction. I didn't intend to disparage them and I may actually fall into the group myself.
Some extroverts I know are among the biggest avoiders around!
Sorry for the lateness of this reply--very busy in Dr.Mark land--hope it gets to some of you who were kind enough to respond to the article.
I have more hope for folks who recognize their avoidance and are conflicted about it, as this writer clearly is. Conflict and discomfort about a habit often come with motivation to change. Often, spouses, parents, teachers, and counselors are the ones who carry the fire for change, while the avoider is more comfortable with a soothing escape.
Introversion is simply a personality style which may well be dispositional. I've known plenty of perfectly nice introverts who prefer to spend more time on their own and are happy that way. Many are capable of very satisfying relationships and limited social interaction. I didn't intend to disparage them and I may actually fall into the group myself.
Some extroverts I know are among the biggest avoiders around!
Sorry for the lateness of this reply--very busy in Dr.Mark land--hope it gets to some of you who were kind enough to respond to the article.
An interesting column, I'll read more in future.
I'd consider the Wikipedia description accurate, and while I have no problem meeting girls, or dating, sometimes the games are good for a laugh.
They tell a story that isn't usually told in conventional game play and while individual experiences can hardly be taken as a canon representation of human interaction, it can be comparable to watching a romantic comedy.
As many dating games are designed to stimulate erotically using skinner box methods, providing an incentive to play through tempting the user for that little bit more, they could be seen as manipulative and perverse.
You could draw the comparison here with a television commercial if you really wanted to, I'm not accusing the people that play these games of being deviants, as stated, I've played them.
Approaching a dating sim from a detached perspective certainly isn't unhealthy. I used to play them now and then with my girlfriend at the time and we'd both get a kick out of the ridiculous ways characters behaved.
I'd consider the Wikipedia description accurate, and while I have no problem meeting girls, or dating, sometimes the games are good for a laugh.
They tell a story that isn't usually told in conventional game play and while individual experiences can hardly be taken as a canon representation of human interaction, it can be comparable to watching a romantic comedy.
As many dating games are designed to stimulate erotically using skinner box methods, providing an incentive to play through tempting the user for that little bit more, they could be seen as manipulative and perverse.
You could draw the comparison here with a television commercial if you really wanted to, I'm not accusing the people that play these games of being deviants, as stated, I've played them.
Approaching a dating sim from a detached perspective certainly isn't unhealthy. I used to play them now and then with my girlfriend at the time and we'd both get a kick out of the ridiculous ways characters behaved.