Dead obese woman sets fire to crematorium

[Clearing the Eye]

It upsets me greatly that there is a forum full of people here laughing at the situation, while a family endures this on top of their loss.

 

[Zack Alklazaris]

Fat chance of that happening with the cremation of a normal person.

I see what you did there!
It was horrible, don't do it again!

Seriously though, maybe our fatter corpses will have to get "pre-lipoed) before entering the over.

 

[MysticToast]

It upsets me greatly that there is a forum full of people here laughing at the situation, while a family endures this on top of their loss.

I'm inclined to agree with you, but at the same time, the responses to threads like these are so punny.

 

[Sean Hollyman]

*looks at title*

Christ, this is like something Faux News would dream up!

*actually reads the article*

But what happens if you're too fat to cremate, but the burial people don't want you either, because nobody wants to lug your coffin?

Oh god, I don't even want to think about it.

Dunno, dump it in the sea?

 

[Terminate421]

God there's no need to get so burnt up about it...

I'll get my coat.

How dare you! This is a very hot, dead woman we're talking about! You know it's not just her sinuses that flare up a lot you know. It's cruel, just plain cruel to make such puns with burning passion about situations like this.

...I make terrible puns. I suck at this. You can kill me now.

Hey why am I coming under fire?! You have such a hot temper and you're gonna end up starting a flame war with your fiery attitude!

[sub]Don't worry, there's only so many fire based puns you can make [/sub]

It's very difficult to extinguish your fiery rage Hazy. I better stop before I make rapid-fire based puns and tell my officers to fire at will at any one of your jokes.

[sub]This is getting consistently worse Bro.[/sub]

You need to stop fanning the flames. I don't want to turn up the heat, I want things to cool off.

[sub]I can't think of anymore puns...[/sub]

Team Rocket blast off in a fiery speed of light!

(I remember one episode they said that instead of the traditional line so it counts)

Why must we humans have fun with such grim or horrid scenarios? I feel like everyone I know including me is going to hell.

 

[lRookiel]

Funny stuff, I like this thread and all of this hot wordplay!

 

[zefiris]

So no one who's weighed more than 440lbs has been cremated before?

.... Yea, don't buy it.

Yes, because you didn't actually think, at all. See, heavier corpses WERE cremated. In different crematoriums that had different specifications.

The average crematorium isn't constructed like the bigger ones, therefore have a lower tolerance for temperatures, which makes excess fat a hazard. Not really hard to grasp.

Captcha..."tastes like chicken"? REALLY? on this post? That's tasteless.

 

[Mysterious Username]

I want a combo of this thread and the dead cat helicopter thread.

 

[Sean Hollyman]

I know my jokes are bad, but I'm only just warming up

 

[Paradoxrifts]

That woman has left a greasy smear on the reputations of everyone involved.

 

[MalkavianLunatic]

On the one hand, I laughed, which likely makes me a bad person.

On the other hand, I have an aunt who weighs more than that woman did by 25 lbs.

I suppose I'll let the fire station know when she passes... *sighs*

 

[Auron225]

This actually sounds like a real-life Yo Mamas joke:

Yo Mamas so fat, when they cremated her - it burned the place to the ground!

 

[ChaosDragoness]

Mother of god.

I know it's wrong and I'm probably gonna go to hell for this...but I laughed so hard at that story xD

 

[AKDread]

This is pretty funny lol

 

[Scow2]

So no one who's weighed more than 440lbs has been cremated before?


.... Yea, don't buy it.

How often do you find someone who weighs more than 400 lbs? (How the hell do people even GET that big? It's not like we live in a primitive world without access to treatments for morbid obesity.)

The US would like a word with you.

I live in and have travelled all over the U.S. I've never seen anyone weighing more than 350 lbs other than those who've recently had/are going to have surgery or other invasive procedures to get their weight under that mark.

Furthermore, in terms of Developed countries, the US isn't even in the top 5 of "Most Obese Nations" (World Health Organization puts it at 20% of the population, and even then the vast majority is what I'd consider only mildly overweight.)

Also: This isn't a unique occurrence.

Then why's it being treated like one?

Slow news day? It's a rare enough occurrence that each time it happens it's almost news-worthy? Mostly because the number of people who weigh in excess of 400 lbs is a very, very tiny percent of the population. Yes, a large amount of people in First-World countries are overweight (yet, contrary to the hype, it's not a majority). However, that morbidly obese category is constantly tiny.

As someone else noted, this kind of thing is not rare in Germany.

So no one who's weighed more than 440lbs has been cremated before?

.... Yea, don't buy it.

Yes, because you didn't actually think, at all. See, heavier corpses WERE cremated. In different crematoriums that had different specifications.

The average crematorium isn't constructed like the bigger ones, therefore have a lower tolerance for temperatures, which makes excess fat a hazard. Not really hard to grasp.

That means I wasn't thinking how? The fact that I'm pointing out that fat people have been cremated before means that I was thinking. I was pointing out that she's hardly the first 400lb person to have been burnt, so really.... they can't use it as an excuse. You'd hope that people who do this for a living would have some idea of what amount of mass can be safely burnt in their crematoriums, at any one time.

To me, it sounds like they fucked up and now they're shifting the blame

Not really hard to grasp.

:/

Not if it's the first time someone of that size was cremated in that area? Just because there are a lot of overweight people doesn't mean that every city or even county has someone that weighs in excess of 400 lbs, much less has someone in excess of 400 lbs die, and then have someone in excess of 400 lbs die and be disposed of through cremation.