The audio and text logs are one of the best atmosphere builders in Dead Space. But did you know if you complete the game on impossible mode you unlock the following hidden text log? Apparently if you complete the game a second time on impossible mode you unlock the second half.
Text Log
C.E.C Vessel Ishimura
Junior vending machine technician Jeremy Frogmouth
10/3/4073: 9:00am Break room
Ok everybody else seems to be leaving these things everywhere. I found one in my toilet bowl this morning, seriously guys, not the kind of 'personal log' I was expecting if you know what I mean. (lol) But seriously guys, stop leaving these things everywhere. This is a fucking mining station, not god damn myspace.
So if you're reading this I want you to understand something. If your pulse rifle ammo or snickers bar or whatever gets stuck in one of the vending machines don't start shaking it like an idiot. Seriously. Vending machines kill more people each year than wolves, bears and unimaginable, flesh defiling space monsters combined.
This morning for instance I was woken up at 7am (!) by that stupid robot voice demanding that I haul my ass out of bed and attend to some retarded problem. Believe it or not. Any time you accidentally shoot something important with your stupid-ass, dangerous mining tools some poor bastard has to crawl out of bed and fix whatever you just fucked up.
So I have to walk all the way to the flight deck and what do I find? Yep. Some asshole has pulled a vending machine on top of himself and crushed himself to death. Brilliant. That's a twelve page form right there and I have to scrape little chunks of blood and muscle tissue and shit out of the credit slot. These are delicate electronic devices! Not god damn soda machines. They're unreliable enough without people getting teeth and bits of hair stuck inside them.
So it took me about three hours to get the vending machine up and off the stupid bastard (oh it turns out it was Mike from hydroponics. I found his name badge. Could someone tell his wife?) and I realize the service arm is completely borked, thanks Mike. So anyway I prop what's left of mike up against a wall and head off to services to get a new service arm (Another form. Thanks again Mike). By the time I get back Mike is gone. I dunno. Maybe someone from medical came to collect him. Or maybe he got better? Whatever. Not my problem.
10/3/4073: 11:00am Corridor 97c
For generations my family has worked on vending machines. According to my grandad his great granddad used to service Coca Cola machines back on Mars and his great great grandad used to wander around Spanish peasant villages in a big black coat, selling firearms to everyone who passed by. That's why it pisses me off so much when people deface the vending machines.
Not only had some asshole scrawled all over the sector nine vending machine in shitty red paint, they hadn't even done it in English! The writing was all curly and shit like... french or something.
I'll clean it off when I'm done eating lunch.
10/3/4073 12:00pmMess Hall
Man. I am totally fucking sick of melons and tomatoes. I went to the hydroponics deck to tell them what a bunch of idiots they are and there was no one there. I looked in the back but there was no one there either. But there was a horrid moaning abomination whose laboured wheezing turned the very air in noxious gas. I might see if I can get one of those to go in a sandwich at some point.
10/3/4073: 12:14pmMess Hall
Ok. Someone, possibly the same asshole who vandalized that vending machine I was talking about, kindly wrote a translation key on the mess hall bathroom mirror. It was written in human shit and pretty badly smeared but I managed to note down most of it.
10/3/4073 12:24pmCorridor 97c
Allright. I just translated the writing on the vending machine. It says 'Derth is only the beginning' Well fuck you Derth. You think you can just scrawl shit wherever you please? You think you can fuck with me? What kind of a name is 'Derth' anyway? When I find out what your real name is I'm going to punch you in the balls.
10/3/4073 7:00pmQuaters
I tell you. This day just keeps on getting shittier and shittier. I was at the compulsory engineer line dancing meet, chilling and having a good time when the shit hits the fan. Dick Humphreys from sanitation is dixie twisting like a ************. He's stomping at the floor like a lunatic. You know. Really hammering away at the grav plating with his boot. Then Owen Natter trips over and boom. Dick Humphreys just stomps his leg right the fuck off.
So Owen Natter is rolling around on the floor screaming and spraying blood everywhere. It's a good job I'm not a cleaner because Man. I'd be totally pissed If I had to clean up all that blood. Anyway Natter is like flailing around and everyone is shouting at me like I just cut off his fucking leg you know? They're all like.
"Jeremy! Go get a medpack!"
So I head on over to the nearest emergency supply station but there's no medpack in there. There was 900 credits in there though, fuck knows why. So I come back and Dick Humprey's asks me if I got the medpack. I say the box was empty because he's a greedy bastard and I know he'll say anything to get his hands on my 900 credits.
So he starts hollerin' at me even louder. Telling me to go to a vending machine and get a medpack. I've been line dancing all night and my legs are tired so I say.
"Why me?"
"You're the vending machine engineer" they all scream at once.
I try to tell them that I just fix the things and that they always seem to be able to buy things just fine when they want a mars bar or a power node or whatever. Then Jenny Perley starts screaming at me. She was being a bit of a ***** right then but Jenny is pretty hot and I'm pretty sure she digs me a little. I could do with some poon.
So I say I'll go get it and they're all like "Ok go"and I'm like "What size Medpack do you want?" and they're like"What are you talking about"(See what I have to work with here?) So I explain to them that medpacks come in like three sizes and I ask what size they need. Very slowly. They get all pissed off and just tell me to get a large medpack. I tell them that the large medpacks are a bit of a waste of money but they get even bitchier.
So when I ask for money for a medpack they all get up in my face about it. Those things are expensive! It's like 10,000 credits for a medpack! Do you know how many watermelons I could buy for that many credits? They ***** at me for a while longer but they give in when Owen starts to turn blue. They give me the credits and I mosey on over to the nearest vending machine.
Then I found out some asshole had been shaking it and managed to pull it over and crush himself with it. Thanks a lot dickwad.
Text Log
C.E.C Vessel Ishimura
Junior vending machine technician Jeremy Frogmouth
10/3/4073: 9:00am Break room
Ok everybody else seems to be leaving these things everywhere. I found one in my toilet bowl this morning, seriously guys, not the kind of 'personal log' I was expecting if you know what I mean. (lol) But seriously guys, stop leaving these things everywhere. This is a fucking mining station, not god damn myspace.
So if you're reading this I want you to understand something. If your pulse rifle ammo or snickers bar or whatever gets stuck in one of the vending machines don't start shaking it like an idiot. Seriously. Vending machines kill more people each year than wolves, bears and unimaginable, flesh defiling space monsters combined.
This morning for instance I was woken up at 7am (!) by that stupid robot voice demanding that I haul my ass out of bed and attend to some retarded problem. Believe it or not. Any time you accidentally shoot something important with your stupid-ass, dangerous mining tools some poor bastard has to crawl out of bed and fix whatever you just fucked up.
So I have to walk all the way to the flight deck and what do I find? Yep. Some asshole has pulled a vending machine on top of himself and crushed himself to death. Brilliant. That's a twelve page form right there and I have to scrape little chunks of blood and muscle tissue and shit out of the credit slot. These are delicate electronic devices! Not god damn soda machines. They're unreliable enough without people getting teeth and bits of hair stuck inside them.
So it took me about three hours to get the vending machine up and off the stupid bastard (oh it turns out it was Mike from hydroponics. I found his name badge. Could someone tell his wife?) and I realize the service arm is completely borked, thanks Mike. So anyway I prop what's left of mike up against a wall and head off to services to get a new service arm (Another form. Thanks again Mike). By the time I get back Mike is gone. I dunno. Maybe someone from medical came to collect him. Or maybe he got better? Whatever. Not my problem.
10/3/4073: 11:00am Corridor 97c
For generations my family has worked on vending machines. According to my grandad his great granddad used to service Coca Cola machines back on Mars and his great great grandad used to wander around Spanish peasant villages in a big black coat, selling firearms to everyone who passed by. That's why it pisses me off so much when people deface the vending machines.
Not only had some asshole scrawled all over the sector nine vending machine in shitty red paint, they hadn't even done it in English! The writing was all curly and shit like... french or something.
I'll clean it off when I'm done eating lunch.
10/3/4073 12:00pmMess Hall
Man. I am totally fucking sick of melons and tomatoes. I went to the hydroponics deck to tell them what a bunch of idiots they are and there was no one there. I looked in the back but there was no one there either. But there was a horrid moaning abomination whose laboured wheezing turned the very air in noxious gas. I might see if I can get one of those to go in a sandwich at some point.
10/3/4073: 12:14pmMess Hall
Ok. Someone, possibly the same asshole who vandalized that vending machine I was talking about, kindly wrote a translation key on the mess hall bathroom mirror. It was written in human shit and pretty badly smeared but I managed to note down most of it.
10/3/4073 12:24pmCorridor 97c
Allright. I just translated the writing on the vending machine. It says 'Derth is only the beginning' Well fuck you Derth. You think you can just scrawl shit wherever you please? You think you can fuck with me? What kind of a name is 'Derth' anyway? When I find out what your real name is I'm going to punch you in the balls.
10/3/4073 7:00pmQuaters
I tell you. This day just keeps on getting shittier and shittier. I was at the compulsory engineer line dancing meet, chilling and having a good time when the shit hits the fan. Dick Humphreys from sanitation is dixie twisting like a ************. He's stomping at the floor like a lunatic. You know. Really hammering away at the grav plating with his boot. Then Owen Natter trips over and boom. Dick Humphreys just stomps his leg right the fuck off.
So Owen Natter is rolling around on the floor screaming and spraying blood everywhere. It's a good job I'm not a cleaner because Man. I'd be totally pissed If I had to clean up all that blood. Anyway Natter is like flailing around and everyone is shouting at me like I just cut off his fucking leg you know? They're all like.
"Jeremy! Go get a medpack!"
So I head on over to the nearest emergency supply station but there's no medpack in there. There was 900 credits in there though, fuck knows why. So I come back and Dick Humprey's asks me if I got the medpack. I say the box was empty because he's a greedy bastard and I know he'll say anything to get his hands on my 900 credits.
So he starts hollerin' at me even louder. Telling me to go to a vending machine and get a medpack. I've been line dancing all night and my legs are tired so I say.
"Why me?"
"You're the vending machine engineer" they all scream at once.
I try to tell them that I just fix the things and that they always seem to be able to buy things just fine when they want a mars bar or a power node or whatever. Then Jenny Perley starts screaming at me. She was being a bit of a ***** right then but Jenny is pretty hot and I'm pretty sure she digs me a little. I could do with some poon.
So I say I'll go get it and they're all like "Ok go"and I'm like "What size Medpack do you want?" and they're like"What are you talking about"(See what I have to work with here?) So I explain to them that medpacks come in like three sizes and I ask what size they need. Very slowly. They get all pissed off and just tell me to get a large medpack. I tell them that the large medpacks are a bit of a waste of money but they get even bitchier.
So when I ask for money for a medpack they all get up in my face about it. Those things are expensive! It's like 10,000 credits for a medpack! Do you know how many watermelons I could buy for that many credits? They ***** at me for a while longer but they give in when Owen starts to turn blue. They give me the credits and I mosey on over to the nearest vending machine.
Then I found out some asshole had been shaking it and managed to pull it over and crush himself with it. Thanks a lot dickwad.
