Deadliest instrument in the orchestra?

[smearyllama]

So I was at my dad's symphony orchestra concert today, and as I was watching the clarinet soloist, it struck me-
What's the most deadly instrument in the orchestra?

I mean, the clarinet is obviously really sharp, but the cello's got a bayonet built right in!
Even considering that, think of the damage you could do with a properly swung trombone!

In the end, I think I'll put my money on the flute. It'd make a good blocking weapon, what with it being made out of sturdy metal, and some proper sharpening could make it a good short spear.

So, escapists, what do you consider the most deadly orchestra instrument?

 

[Soviet Heavy]

I'll second the flute. Not only is it sturdy, being made of only two body pieces, but it's tube shape allows it to double as a blowgun as well as a short thrusting weapon.

 

[smearyllama]

Oh my God I laughed so hard when I saw the thread title XD

I'd go with a trombone. Looks like it has some decent length. Could block with it like you could with a flute, no? Though if you want to block there's always cymbals. You could beat people to death with those I'm sure.

Holy crap, I forgot the cymbals. With proper modifications, you could make some truly horrifying death-disks out of those, thought it'd take some skill to throw them right.
Heck, even if you didn't throw them, you could use them as bladed shields.

 

[Treeinthewoods]

Flute my butt! I will kill you with this triangle!

 

[Fiz_The_Toaster]

Conductor's stick, have you ever been hit with one? It freaking hurts!

Probably the Bassoon, that thing is pretty heavy but not enough so that you can't make a good swing!

 

[smearyllama]

Conductor's stick, have you ever been hit with one? It freaking hurts!

Probably the Bassoon, that thing is pretty heavy but not enough so that you can't make a good swing!

Oddly enough, my dad is actually a bassoonist.

 

[Soviet Heavy]

An Upright Bass would be sufficient for bludgeoning.

 

[Fiz_The_Toaster]

Conductor's stick, have you ever been hit with one? It freaking hurts!

Probably the Bassoon, that thing is pretty heavy but not enough so that you can't make a good swing!

Oddly enough, my dad is actually a bassoonist.

This is perfect! You can conduct an orchestra fight!

Maybe a battle royale style, put them all in a cage and only one can leave! Orch-dork fight!

 

[Mazza35]

You could use a violent to shoot things, like a bow

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Spoiler: There is only one thing I feel I need to say

Laugh if you want but you could really bludgeon someone to death with it. Plus the inner edges can be sharp.

 

[ChupathingyX]

Well there's the...

Spoiler: Harp

The...

Spoiler: flute

And the...

Spoiler: SHAMISEN!

All instruments with the ability to shoot orbs of doom!

 

[Vanitas likes Bubbles]

I thought this was going to be a thread about which is the best instrument (Which to me would be none, because they have to work together to sound good). Anyway i'll say that the piano is the deadliest, if you can lift it.

 

[manic_depressive13]

The violin is perfectly shaped for bludgeoning, and you could probably choke someone with one of the strings.

 

[Plinglebob]

Depends on whether modifications are allowed or not.

If they arn't, I'd vote the Cymbals. While you would need to practice a bit to be really effective as it'd be an odd fighting style, you could easily maintain a solid defence.

If they are, definitely the Tuba. Just the right size to accomadate your standard morter shell *evil laugh*

The violin is perfectly shaped for bludgeoning, and you could probably choke someone with one of the strings.

The problem with the violin (and pretty much any string instrament) is that they're very fragile and only really any good for one decent blow before you end up with just kindling and garrot wire (Go to the brass section for your melee fighters). Now, losen the strings a little and the entire section becomes your archers.

 

[M0rp43vs]

As a practitioner of Kali, I'd have to go with dual wielding flutes. Hefty weight, nice length, somewhat easy to grip.

Of course if we're including 1812 overture then I'd say cannons would be the deadliest instrument

 

[Dfskelleton]

If it's a jazz orchestra, a saxaphone is a pretty well shaped bludgeoning tool (and it sounds freaking sweet, too)
And, as someone already said, if you've got higher ground, then a piano is the way to go.

 

[Scarim Coral]

I'm going with the flute since it can potentially become a disguise lightsaber as seen in the game No More Heroes Desperate Struggle-

Spoiler: Kimmy Howell

 

[Orbot_Vectorman]

I'm going with the flute since it can potentially become a disguise lightsaber as seen in the game No More Heroes Desperate Struggle-

Spoiler: Kimmy Howell

Ummm... thats not a flute... its a recorder.... and my weapon would be piano wire... with a cybole sheild, and a guitar

 

[requisitename]

This whole thread cracks me up, especially this:

(Go to the brass section for your melee fighters).

My choice would be the clarinet. Light enough to swing, heavy enough to do damage and with ALL sorts of "pokey" things to cause surface damage!

 

[GigaHz]

snip

Damn, I thought you meant this in a musical sense, in case I would have said timpani. I mean, that's the closest thing we as people have to creating thunder, which you'd think would at least get other people to kill themselves for you.

My vote goes to the Bassoon. Not for any real reason, all brass instruments for the most part seem to be useful in a fight. I just want to be the first person to have killed someone with a Bassoon.

'BASSOOOOOOOONED! *****!'