greenice said:
Relish in Chaos said:
Tell her to at least considering going through therapy before she kills herself. There have been a lot of people who have been sure in their decisions to kill themselves, and yet, they've backed out at the last minute when they realize the reality of what they're doing, and/or eventually get some help to ride the wave through their problems.
I tried that already and she says she doesn't want to talk to therapist.
Why not? You're going to have to press her, and make yourself clear that you don't care how bad she may think it is, but it's better she tells you now before it's too late. If she says it's because she doesn't have hope that she can get better just through therapy, encourage her to try it anyway. Otherwise, she'll never know and she could be screwing herself out of a possibly less sucky future.
greenice said:
Relish in Chaos said:
Also, what happens if she, well, fucks it up? It can happen. How would she end it? Does she know how painful many of the methods of suicide are, and how easy it can go wrong? If it fails, she could end up brain-damaged, paralyzed or whatever, putting her in an even worse position than before, especially if she gets taken to a hospital and put on suicide watch, with none of them willing to pull the plug.
As I mention in the OP she has tried before.Back then she cut her veins and when she changed her mind she closed the wounds with a lighted cigarette.She came to a show at school with her wrists bandaged, a bit later I found out why.She also used to cut herself, so I don't think pain is really that much of an issue for her.
It's safe to say that suicide's a bigger step than self-harming, since with that, there's at least not the deliberate intent of suicide. And you said that she changed her mind after cutting her veins and closed the wounds up with...a lighted cigarette? That sounds pretty dangerous. Stating the obvious, I know, but...no-one can really know how they'll feel until they're actually in those last minutes of slipping away, and even people who claim that they're going to be prepared for their death and perfectly relaxed might actually not be. They might just shit themselves when faced with the reality of death.
And, like I said, if she fucks it up, she could be in an even worse position before, and probably the worst thing to happen to an already suicidal person is for them to be rendered completely incapable of attempting to kill themselves again, because they can't even move their arms or a family member/doctor is watching them 24/7.
I'm not a qualified psychologist or anything and I'm depressed myself, but you could also try the whole "helping to get over one little challenge before the next" by encouraging her to focus on the positive little things in life. For example, my sister's been telling me to text her one good thing that happened to me each day, in an attempt to move away from the negatives that seem overwhelming. I can't say it's worked yet, but maybe that's because it's only early days. Patience, no matter how annoying waiting for things to get better can be, is a virtue.
manic_depressive13 said:
Oh for the love of god. Some people would prefer to die. Just because you can't comprehend that doesn't automatically make that person insane, irrational or wrong. Death isn't a bad thing, it's neutral. People should have control over their own lives, even if that means ending them.
The thing is, that's not really helpful advice to give to someone who wants to help their best friend get better, no matter how slim that chance may be. If they're going to kill themselves, they should at least try some other ways of helping themselves ? with the help of others that they trust, of course - get through that depression. If it doesn't work, then...yeah,
maybe they're entitled to kill themselves, if nothing has worked for them. But this girl is only in her last year of high school. I'm not going to say that things will get better once you get out of the seemingly endless hellhole that is high school, because how the fuck should I know,
I'm still only in high school.
I know that it's not as if depression is unique to teenagers. It doesn't need to be said that adults get depressed too. But if you give it a couple more years, try all the alternatives, and see how it works out...
then you can think about whether or not it's such a good idea to kill yourself. Maybe it is. Maybe it isn't. But, like I said, there's a slim chance, even if it's only, like, 2%.
But anyway,
evilthecat?s got it spot-on. Whatever you do, OP, make sure that you keep in touch with her, and let her know that she can text or phone you anytime if she wants to talk. And neither of you are being selfish. You?re concerned for a close friend, and she?s clinically depressed, so fuck what anyone else says about ?selfishness?, because they obviously don?t know what it?s like to be in that state of mind. Heck, a lot of suicide victims don?t actually think that
anyone will care if they died, and yet, at their funeral, loads of people, even those that they didn?t think even liked them, turn up crying and paying their respects. Death is a big deal.