Dealing with death.

[The Maddest March Hare]

I'm usually very detached. When my Great-Grandmother passed away I barely blinked. She had been in a folks home with sever Alzheimer's for 3 years previously and on my visit she had repeatedly forgotten my name, as well as the name of my mother. Because of her sever condition it didn't come as a shock.

This was when I was 7, if I didn't flinch then I doubt I would now. It's not that I don't care, it's that I'm matter-of-fact about it. I see it that they're dead and that crying is just wasting a little of your life, something I'm always convinced the deceased person would not want.

I know on a forum it sounds hollow and as if I'm going through the motions, but I really am sorry for your loss. I hope you find your own way of dealing with things soon.

 

[cantthinkofausername]

I'm not really sure what advice I can give. Everyone else seems to have covered it pretty well. The most I can say is this - My sympathies.

 

[Toners]

heh, I'm almost lucky in the respect that my Dad died when I was pretty young, so death is pretty much a part of my life. You have something and you lose it. Life's all about cherishing the moments you have, because you never know when that special thing in your life most people take for granted is gone. Even when they're gone, you still have the memories, and they can help you get by with the loss you've suffered. It's never nice to lose someone you love, and even more troubling to watch them go through something horrible that may lead to death. I've heard the thoughts of people who are waiting to die (some of them very close to me), and everyone reacts to it in different ways.
I know it's gonna sound corny as hell, but with the help and support of others, you'll get by. Sometimes you're not gonna want anyone to help you, and that's fine. It's sometimes better to be by yourself and force yourself to be upset about it for a few hours, rather than bottle it up and hope it goes away, because it doesn't. People may avoid the subject in conversation, but regardless, he's still gonna be a part of your life. You'll never forget him, and I'm probably sure he wouldn't want you to.
On a final note, as everyone else says, my condolences to you and on behalf of the Escapist community, we hope you'll be ok

 

[flare09]

I'm not that close to my family. So when one of them dies, which quite a few have, I'm not really that bad about it.

 

[Utarefson]

Would he be happy to see you being sad if you think about him?
If not, then just go on living, remember the good times with him and maintain his grave, and try not to be sad all the time.

(i'm sorry if this sounds harsh,but i've only lost pets so far)

Sorry for your loss.

 

[Triple G]

I lost my uncle today. I've never lost a close family member before, and I'm a little shaken at the moment, it feels like part of my world has crumbled. I've got a performance tomorrow too, so I don't think I'll be acting my best.
I've been crying for the past hour or so, my mum, sister and I have had a big hug and just cried on each other. Then I joked about how there's no way he'd die quietly, he'd make a fuss somehow.
We all laughed, and felt a little better :]
So, I ask you. How you you deal with death of a family member/anyone you're close to?
I did a search, nothing like this came up, so sorry if it's been done before. It was all threads about the afterlife, last words and Death Metal.

I think that death isn't that tragic. If you're uncle was a person with a good heart, then he's in heaven, so no problem for him. I don't know about you, but I believe in heaven, and everybody who gets there must be having the time of his life as in there all ways to fun are open.

 

[bodyklok]

Well, my father died when I was three but since I have no memories from then I really didn't have to 'deal' with his death, just him not being around. I guess somehow that can be the hardest part of losing someone, not being able to see them any more.

Other than that, my Grandfather died several years ago, I was largely unaffected by this because I was still pretty young at the time, I never really new him though so I was kinda pleased because I got a few grand in his will. I wish I had gotten to know him better before he died though, from what I can tell he lived an interesting life. But now I'll never get the chance to do so.

 

[Erana]

Well, I'll find out how I'll deal with my father's death soon enough. I'm not sure if it will really make a difference, though...

 

[The_Chief]

my grandma almost died twice. but never had a close family member died. i have no adivice to offer. my condolences go to you and your family.

 

[Kinguendo]

I haven't been able to deal with it, so I would like to know the answer to this too.

Oh, the funeral is always the hardest part. Don't try to be strong, it never works at the funeral of someone close.

Sorry for your loss.

 

[The Infamous Scamola]

First off, I'll start by saying I'm saddened by your loss.

Secondly, I have never really experienced the death of a relative that was close to me. My grandfather died, some 7 or 8 years ago, but I wasn't really close to him, so it didn't affect me really. Maybe that makes a bad person, but meh...

 

[Bourne Endeavor]

My condolences for your loss, mate.

To answer your question I am, and this may sound callous, but I am apathetic for the most part. I have no real reaction, perhaps a small mist of the eye however even that is rare. In my life I have always viewed death as the inevitable, and my response to it "What will crying accomplish?" If it were my mother to die, I'd be more determined to continue with my future plans than mourn because that way she'd be proud of the achievements I have made.

 

[El Poncho]

My family have a knack for pretendig it doesn't bother them until the funeral when they all start crying. Dealt with itself i guess.

 

[Motiv_]

Sorry to hear.

I'm unfortunately completely jaded to death, I've served for 4 years, and lost close friends, both of my brothers, my parents, my sister in law, and my children. So, I'm sorry that you lost him, but I cannot offer my sympathy because I have none.

 

[TerribleTerryTate]

I've lost a few close family members, all within the space of a year. It was a tough time, but instead of focusing on the fact that they had passed, I remembered good times together. More of a celebration of their life, rather than being upset that they'd died.

There's no easy way of dealing with it unfortunately dude. I'm sorry for your loss, and hope you nail your performance tomorrow.

 

[War Penguin]

I'm sorry for your loss.
I'm Jewish and in tradition we "Sit Shiva". Incase you don't know what that is, you basically mope for a week or two. I, however, don't believe is what one should do when someone dies. I believe one should cherish memories of the dead rather than mourn their loss. Don't be saddened and afraid, be appreciative of life.
A message from an internet stranger.

 

[GrinningManiac]

I'm on a delay. I'd be told the news, feel a bit down and get on with the day.

Mabye a few hours, days, weeks later, I'd collapse inwards

 

[ExaltedK9]

*hugs*

sorry, im no good at this stuff

hmm, closest 'person' ive lost so far is my favorite cat... i guess i mourned for a day or 2, then my friends helped cheer me up

Losing a pet can be hard. I remember when Cesar died, it was quite awhile ago now. I was at my grandma's for the weekend and, while I was gone he tried to squeeze through the spaces in the gate to our driveway. (Cesar was a big dog, keep in mind) He got stuck and couldn't get to water, or shade, and he died of heat exhaustion. I was down about that for quite awhile.

My condolences.

 

[AngloDoom]

Biggest thing I can say is let people be there for you. Sometimes it can feel overwhelming and almost smothering with the sympathies people give you, but they mean well and they'll try and get you through it in the end. It sounds like you have a close family and that's something you can always rely on.

Have a day off or two, just to find yourself a little if you really want; just don't isolate yourself and don't bottle it all up inside.

 

[Latinidiot]

i don't know how i coped with it, i just did. sorry i can't help and my condoleances