Hey everybody!
I've been wanting to start a thread for a while, but I couldn't think of anything important enough to discuss. Thanks to my real life experiences, the burning question I now want to ask all of you (or perhaps only those who have move out of their parents' house) is how do you/did you deal with your housemates?
Coming back from my first year in university, I was excited to learn that I would be living in a Student Housing Cooperative (a network of houses very close to campus with a central hub for meals, parties, and office space) for the rest of my time as an undergraduate. From what I heard, it was better than living in a house with friends from university because the people I'd be living with would be responsible, given that they had to apply to live there.
Just like "the best laid schemes o' mice an' men," things have gone awry. For starters, there is a mentality spreading throughout my house of nine people (including myself) that when you are upset with something, instead of having an open and honest discussion with the rest of your housemates, the best response is to take matters into your own hands and decide for yourself what's best for the house. Of course, the result has been somewhat chaotic.
As of now, ethernet cords are not permitted to be used because the half of my housemates have damaged cords or something, and they have it in their heads that ethernet cables slows down the wireless connection for others. This decision came about late one evening while I was attempting to open my email, but it didn't open. Turns out, instead of telling anyone she was yanking the cords, one of my housemates just decided to do it because she was frustrated. What is more, I found out about this not through her personally informing me, but from overhearing the rather loud conversation going on downstairs.
It was only later next day that our incompetent house manager informed us that those with functioning ethernet cables were not permitted to use them so as to "level the playing field" for everyone else. Her message said that a meeting would happen in the next few days... it has been two weeks. There was also no mention of how those cords got to be unplugged in the first place, suggesting that this sort of behaviour is appropriate in her eyes.
Another example of people just doing things whenever they get upset is one of my housemates getting angry that everyone just leaves their dishes in the sink without washing them for days, which is reasonable. What is not reasonable, however, is how she just, right in front of me, took all of the dishes out of the sink, placed them in a box and put them on the floor.
Doing this without a word, I thought to myself how, in her mind, she thinks that by putting all of the dishes in a box, it will alert my other housemates to the fact that people are getting upset about this, yet was that the right thing to do? While I make a point of cleaning my dishes right after eating, I still find it galling that she would take such a drastic step when the more diplomatic option of calling a meeting and talking about this like responsible adults was still open to her.
I could go on, but you get the idea: tensions between my housemates are wearing thin. So far, my policy has just been to stay out of the line of fire, keep my head down, and avoid drawing myself into any kind of conflict. I really hate being 'that guy' who says "well I think we should all try talking about it first." Maybe it's just me, but being 'that guy' is not my idea of a good time, but if I want things to get better, maybe being 'that guy' is the only solution.
What do you guys think? Should I continue to stay out of the craziness, or should I become 'that guy' and bring everyone in the house together before things get worse?
If you have any of your own personal experiences to add, they would be much appreciated.
Thanks!
I've been wanting to start a thread for a while, but I couldn't think of anything important enough to discuss. Thanks to my real life experiences, the burning question I now want to ask all of you (or perhaps only those who have move out of their parents' house) is how do you/did you deal with your housemates?
Coming back from my first year in university, I was excited to learn that I would be living in a Student Housing Cooperative (a network of houses very close to campus with a central hub for meals, parties, and office space) for the rest of my time as an undergraduate. From what I heard, it was better than living in a house with friends from university because the people I'd be living with would be responsible, given that they had to apply to live there.
Just like "the best laid schemes o' mice an' men," things have gone awry. For starters, there is a mentality spreading throughout my house of nine people (including myself) that when you are upset with something, instead of having an open and honest discussion with the rest of your housemates, the best response is to take matters into your own hands and decide for yourself what's best for the house. Of course, the result has been somewhat chaotic.
As of now, ethernet cords are not permitted to be used because the half of my housemates have damaged cords or something, and they have it in their heads that ethernet cables slows down the wireless connection for others. This decision came about late one evening while I was attempting to open my email, but it didn't open. Turns out, instead of telling anyone she was yanking the cords, one of my housemates just decided to do it because she was frustrated. What is more, I found out about this not through her personally informing me, but from overhearing the rather loud conversation going on downstairs.
It was only later next day that our incompetent house manager informed us that those with functioning ethernet cables were not permitted to use them so as to "level the playing field" for everyone else. Her message said that a meeting would happen in the next few days... it has been two weeks. There was also no mention of how those cords got to be unplugged in the first place, suggesting that this sort of behaviour is appropriate in her eyes.
Another example of people just doing things whenever they get upset is one of my housemates getting angry that everyone just leaves their dishes in the sink without washing them for days, which is reasonable. What is not reasonable, however, is how she just, right in front of me, took all of the dishes out of the sink, placed them in a box and put them on the floor.
Doing this without a word, I thought to myself how, in her mind, she thinks that by putting all of the dishes in a box, it will alert my other housemates to the fact that people are getting upset about this, yet was that the right thing to do? While I make a point of cleaning my dishes right after eating, I still find it galling that she would take such a drastic step when the more diplomatic option of calling a meeting and talking about this like responsible adults was still open to her.
I could go on, but you get the idea: tensions between my housemates are wearing thin. So far, my policy has just been to stay out of the line of fire, keep my head down, and avoid drawing myself into any kind of conflict. I really hate being 'that guy' who says "well I think we should all try talking about it first." Maybe it's just me, but being 'that guy' is not my idea of a good time, but if I want things to get better, maybe being 'that guy' is the only solution.
What do you guys think? Should I continue to stay out of the craziness, or should I become 'that guy' and bring everyone in the house together before things get worse?
If you have any of your own personal experiences to add, they would be much appreciated.
Thanks!