Dealing with suicide.

[US Crash Fire]

Lost a friend today. I'm not sure how to deal with it. I don't believe in heaven or hell and I don't want to talk about it to a counselor or chaplain, but everyone says "don't bottle it up". what should I do? I just want to break down but I cant afford to do that. Please help.
-R.I.P. Matt

 

[Soulgaunt]

Wow, that sounds terrible.
I can't offer any advice other then talk about it to someone you trust.

 

[Inverse Skies]

I'm so sorry to hear that, that's horrible, horrible news and I hope that you pull through from it. My sister has attempted to kill herself twice, and I found that the best thing you could do is not blame yourself for it. That being said, you really do need to talk to someone professional about it. We're not the source you should be coming too for comfort. We're just a bunch of people on the internet who enjoy videogames and usually have strong opinions. You need support. Talk to your parents, a teacher at school, a counselor (I know you're reluctant, but you need to do something), anyone who might be able to help you through your time of grief. We're not that source though, you need actual face to face contact to help you through.

I'm sorry for what has happened to you today.

 

[Dusty Donuts]

Well, there's two receive from this kind of question...

Spoiler: The Nice Response

How can we help? Sorry about your friend. You should talk about it to a counselor even if you don't want to.

Spoiler: The Bad Response

Yeah, well, what do you want us to do about it? Cry for you? Don't post it here, mate.

Thankfully, I pick the nice response.

 

[aPod]

Well you're talking about it here right? Sounds reasonable to me.

I had a good friend commit suicide when i was in highschool. His girlfriend broke up with him and he hung himself with a belt off his bunk bed. I can only give you one peice of advice and thats to just keep on moving and living your life.

 

[Otterwuff]

First of all, I'm sorry for your loss.

Second, you should allow yourself to break down or go to a counsellor or something of the sort eventually, but you don't have to do it today. Dealing with loss isn't easy, and it won't be over in a day or two. As much as this might not be the advice you want, you should take your time and let it sink in.

I don't know how you handle stressful situations, so I can't really give more advice than that. I would recommend talking to somebody about it, despite the desire not to; it helps to open up and explain your feelings, even if it's awkward or embarrassing. There's nothing wrong with breaking down either, and might sometimes be necessary.

There's no set guide for how to deal with grief or loss; we all handle it differently. But I would recommend that you don't try to shackle yourself so it builds up; that might just be a recipe for disaster.

 

[Willwillwritehiswill]

I wish i knew what to say. Losing someone is never easy.
Don't hide your feelings though. Everyone deals with loss differently.

 

[FallenJellyDoughnut]

Find somewhere quiet, where no one will hear you and just cry, it works quite well.

 

[Aesir23]

Sorry to hear about your friend, it's a terrible loss for anyone to go through.

You should talk to someone you trust, someone who won't judge and will sit there and listen to how you feel. Perhaps your parents or another close friend.

All else failing, find somewhere secluded and bawl your eyes out. (Yes, I am serious about that)

 

[Darth_Dude]

Yeah, exactly what Inverse Skies said, you need to get some support from real people, not us.
And I'm sorry for what happened to you, for what its worth.

 

[Hiphophippo]

This is too serious a thread for me. I'm very sorry for your loss.

 

[AngloDoom]

Just cry, have a little break-down. No-matter what you say, you can afford it. Even if it's just for a couple of hours, go find a place where you can be on your own, even if it takes up the time you would have (normally) slept it. Punch some walls, scream you lungs out, cry until your blind, and blame the world on shit you're feeling.

If you don't let it up, you'll have a worse breakdown at a time that is out of your control. It's pretty much like putting off a hospital appointment in that respect; leaving longer isn't going to make what's ailing you go away, it'll just come back at a time that is out of your hands.

What you need now, after such a grievous loss, is to take control of something - even if it's just when to break down.

I'm sorry for your loss, and if you need to talk at all then feel free to send me a Personal Message too. Now go off and cry, you idiot, and get it out!

 

[Nocta-Aeterna]

I... I do not no what to say. I'm verry sorry for you. Losing a friend like that...
I will not say "I understand how you feel", because I cannot.
I'm sorry I can't be of anymore help.

I'm so sorry to hear that, that's horrible, horrible news and I hope that you pull through from it. My sister has attempted to kill herself twice, and I found that the best thing you could do is not blame yourself for it. That being said, you really do need to talk to someone professional about it. We're not the source you should be coming too for comfort. We're just a bunch of people on the internet who enjoy videogames and usually have strong opinions. You need support. Talk to your parents, a teacher at school, a counselor (I know you're reluctant, but you need to do something), anyone who might be able to help you through your time of grief. We're not that source though, you need actual face to face contact to help you through.

I'm sorry for what has happened to you today.

This man speaks wisdom.

 

[omega 616]

There is no one way of dealing with death, you can dehydrate yourself through crying, talk to a professional, bottle it up or just accept it and move on (there maybe more than that).

I did the last when my granddad died, I didn't see the point in dwelling on it so I accepted it and moved on within a week.

 

[BlindMessiah94]

Please see a counselor. I know you said you don't want to talk to one about this, but it can be done anonymously. It says in your profile you live in Hawaii, so here is a helpful site:
http://suicidehotlines.com/hawaii.html
It's not just for people who are thinking of suicide, it's also for people who have experienced suicide in their lives.

Post Traumatic Stress doesn't normally manifest itself until 3 months after an accident. As someone who is speaking from experiencing this first hand, I cannot stress how important it is to see a professional. You don't even know what kind of stuff you may be bottling it up.
Trust me, I was very against the idea of seeing a counselor in my life but when I finally hit rock bottom I did and it helps you begin to heal, which is something I thought I wouldn't be experiencing ever.

Please PM me if you need more resources or information. I'm not going to pretend I am in any shape to give you advice but I can point you in the right direction or just listen if you need to rant.

Sorry for your loss.

 

[FROGGEman2]

Ah, shit. Suicide is a big thing to get past. I don't like to talk, I prefer to cry, talk to myself and think a lot. If you aren't into talking, just do what I do.

 

[Satin6T]

two words... Fight Club

 

[BonsaiK]

Lost a friend today. I'm not sure how to deal with it. I don't believe in heaven or hell and I don't want to talk about it to a counselor or chaplain, but everyone says "don't bottle it up". what should I do? I just want to break down but I cant afford to do that. Please help.
-R.I.P. Matt

I lost a partner to suicide.

I coped with it by:

* Talking to lots of people about it
* Crying a lot (for a while)
* Focusing my energies on creative things to get it out of my system

Don't refuse free counselling if it's offered. Just let them know right off the bat that you're not religious and that you "dont want to go there" and they should respect those boundaries. However if you've got goodclose friends or family you can talk to you may not need a counsellor.

 

[Warrior Irme]

I had a friend commit suicide about half way through my first semester of college. The best advice I can give is take the time out of your day/week/month or however long it takes to grieve. If you just let the situation linger in the front of your mind you will have difficulty performing the tasks that are set out for you. I tried to ignore the situation and I ended up focusing on him during classes and among my other friends. My schoolwork dropped off and I ended up passing only one of my five classes. My friendships began to fall apart and now I only have contact with one of my many friends from that college. (The rest couldn't deal with my depressed demeanor.) Now I am living in a different town, dropped out of college for the time being while I work on getting back up to the pace I was at before that semester.

Suicide is a rough thing to go through, but you really do need to face it head on, or the thoughts of it could end up consuming you.