Death from above

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Souplex

Souplex Killsplosion Awesomegasm
Jul 29, 2008
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If you had an orbital laser, capable of precision strikes, what would you do with it?
It could do anything from blowing up a city, to vaporizing an ant, depending on the settings.
I would personally just use it to sign my name everywhere.
 

Swyftstar

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May 19, 2011
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I'd blow up my apartment as it's so messy now I don't think I'll ever get it clean.
 

Marter

Elite Member
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Oct 27, 2009
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I would vaporize an ant. A single ant. Then never use it again.

Wait! Scratch that! I'd kill all the wasps. Then be the hero of everyone because there would be no more wasps. Screw the consequences!
 

Calibanbutcher

Elite Member
Nov 29, 2009
1,701
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I would use it to draw a PENIS ON THE MOON MUHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH
[sub][sub]and sign it with your name[/sub][/sub]
 

twistedmic

Elite Member
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Sep 8, 2009
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I would use the Power of Friendship (what I will name my Orbital Death Laser) to vaporize my enemies along with Starbucks and McDonald's restaurants.
 

Souplex

Souplex Killsplosion Awesomegasm
Jul 29, 2008
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Matthew94 said:
Marter said:
I would vaporize an ant. A single ant. Then never use it again.

Wait! Scratch that! I'd kill all the wasps. Then be the hero of everyone because there would be no more wasps. Screw the consequences!
I cannot think of a better use than killing all wasps...

Maybe cut Korea in half?
Would you cut it in half horizontally, making the two Koreas more distinct, or vertically, to make the whole situation wackier?
 

Heronblade

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Apr 12, 2011
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Offer my... services to the UN. Paired up with a halfway decent intelligence network, it could do quite a bit of good, from outright eliminating some targets, to disabling getaway vehicles, to burning off my former employer's hair...
 

NinjaDeathSlap

Leaf on the wind
Feb 20, 2011
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Marter said:
I would vaporize an ant. A single ant. Then never use it again.

Wait! Scratch that! I'd kill all the wasps. Then be the hero of everyone because there would be no more wasps. Screw the consequences!
After that would you do in the Spiders? I'd pay you to do in the Spiders... pweeeeeeezz?!

OP: I'd aim it right into the arse-crack of the first person I see in low-rider jeans. That'll teach the bastards!
 

DoPo

"You're not cleared for that."
Jan 30, 2012
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Now I can say "yes" when somebody asks me if I have a light. MWAHAHAHA!
 

RipRoaringWaterfowl

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Jun 20, 2011
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No mosquito shall survive the power of my Kill SAT! MUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! GOOD HEARTED LAUGH!

Oh, yeah, and then knock over a few dictatorships, and once that's all done and cleaned up, I set the SAT to extremely low power, and prank David Cameron.
 

Heronblade

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Apr 12, 2011
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NinjaDeathSlap said:
Marter said:
I would vaporize an ant. A single ant. Then never use it again.

Wait! Scratch that! I'd kill all the wasps. Then be the hero of everyone because there would be no more wasps. Screw the consequences!
After that would you do in the Spiders? I'd pay you to do in the Spiders... pweeeeeeezz?!
I'll pay you double what he's offering to leave the spiders alone. I'm not much a fan of being buried alive by all the insects they eat.
 

NinjaDeathSlap

Leaf on the wind
Feb 20, 2011
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Heronblade said:
NinjaDeathSlap said:
Marter said:
I would vaporize an ant. A single ant. Then never use it again.

Wait! Scratch that! I'd kill all the wasps. Then be the hero of everyone because there would be no more wasps. Screw the consequences!
After that would you do in the Spiders? I'd pay you to do in the Spiders... pweeeeeeezz?!
I'll pay you double what he's offering to leave the spiders alone. I'm not much a fan of being buried alive by all the insects they eat.
I'd take plagues of flies over spiders any day, and if they get too unruly we can turn the orbital laser on them as well!

Seriously though, spiders are bastards. Look at them, just sitting on their webs waiting for every meal to come to them, fucking scroungers! Also, any creature that eats by liquefying it's prey's insides while they're still alive and then drinking them like a smoothie was never meant to be a friend of the human race.
 

Zantos

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Jan 5, 2011
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Fuck with the people I don't like. Oh that's a lovely garden installation mr. guy who was a bit too impatient to wait for me and my last girlfriend to break up before shagging her. I bet that took you weeks. It'd be a shame if something happened to it...

Yeah, stuff along those lines.
 

Souplex

Souplex Killsplosion Awesomegasm
Jul 29, 2008
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I'd probably also shoot right next to people just to mess with them.
 

krazykidd

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Mar 22, 2008
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I'd play a real life version of battle ship with my friend . We'd watch the news while shooting the lasers at random spots in the ocean .
 

smearyllama

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May 9, 2010
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I'd start a funeral service offering the best alternative to tradition burial/cremation/immersion in rice pudding ever.
I mean, who wouldn't want their body incinerated by a totally awesome SPACE LASER? Seriously. I'd also use it as a hole punch, because it's easier than getting up from my desk whenever I need to put a handout in my school binder.