Defending one's self

[Hanzo Hattori]

Well, as a matter of fact in most cases I'll drive with the car instead of walking, so my little weapon arsenal (baseball bat, knife,...) is always in range .

 

[Popadomus Ohio]

normally, due to my size, i might have a size and weight advantage over whoever is trying to attack me. i'd still call for help, but if help didn't come i'd just try and kick and punch as hard as i can, and maybe use stuff in my pockets as weapons. Then i will unleash Ban Kai...

 

[Jedoro]

Well, since they have the intention to hurt me, ability to kill me, and have presented conditions for reasonable fear, I'd get out my knife and try to fuck 'em up. If they kept trying even as they bled out, I'd resort to killing them, but the second they give up the fight's over.

 

[Benny Blanco]

normally, due to my size, i might have a size and weight advantage over whoever is trying to attack me. i'd still call for help, but if help didn't come i'd just try and kick and punch as hard as i can, and maybe use stuff in my pockets as weapons. Then i will unleash Ban Kai...

Unleash Ban Ki? How did you get hold of the UN Secretary-General in the first place?

If you are going to fight a group of people, fight from a confined space like a doorway or a narrow alley where you won't have to face more than 3 of them simultaneously. Rubbish bins have a number of uses and metal bin lids make good shields and you can hit with them too, but they can hardly be classed as weapons if the matter goes to court. Go on the offensive as much as possible and attack their leader. Break the leader and the rest will probably give up in disgust. Don't be too proud to hit fire-alarms and use fire extinguishers, people are more likely to respond to a fire alarm than a fight.

Finally, don't get bitten, the human mouth is a disgusting disease ridden place and they might be a Z.

Apart from the Zombie thing this is all solid advice. I'd personally be more worried about hepatitis and other charming blood diseases, plus the bacteria in the human mouth.

The "Conga Line of Death" (funnelling your attackers through a tight gap) pretty much forces assailants to fight you 1-on-1 (y'know, just like in a movie) and if you can just get one of them as a human shield it makes your job a lot easier (RNC or Kimura are both good for this)

Bin lids (and any other blunt weapons you can improvise) are good, although I don't know if anyone here is a riot cop or someone else who knows the right technique for shield-bashing someone. I say blunt weapons because any weapon you use might be turned back on you, so bin lids are particularly good for this. Also, it's easier to hit someone with a blunt weapon without risk of fatal injury than with a point or blade and you're less likely to bungle and cut yourself (adrenal dump fucks up your fine motor skills, remember?) Add to that the reach advantage (most improvised sharp weapons, such as broken bottles, are pretty short) of blunt weapons and it becomes a no-brainer.

I especially like the fire extinguisher bit. Those things weigh quite a lot, so the bludgeoning potential is good, and a spray to the face beforehand will probably make people distracted and easier to hit. Remember, there is no percentage in fighting fair when your life is on the line. I'd rather have to explain my actions in court than end up in a morgue or intensive care ward comatose and catheterised because I tried to fight Queensbury rules against a bunch of street thugs. Fighting honourably may sound glamourous but pissing into a bag through a tube definitely isn't.

 

[Shoqiyqa]

Weapons to hand: hands, feet, elbows, teeth, fingertips, knees, spiky fence-tops, show windows, broken shop windows, passing traffic, my forehead ...

Training can help.

A cool awareness and assessment of the situation can help.

Channelling a wolverine and regarding the attackers as really annoying poultry is essential.

The crowd?

Spoiler: The crowd are not going to help you.

 

[Shoqiyqa]

Well, as a matter of fact in most cases I'll drive with the car instead of walking, so my little weapon arsenal (baseball bat, knife,...) is always in range .

Hrm ... so you're driving down the street in a three-quarter-tonne chunk of steel, aluminium, plastic, lead, copper, sulphuric acid, rubber and flammable hydrocarbons capable of accelerating to 15 metres per second in two seconds ... and four or five pedestrians attack you ... and you think a baseball bat is top of your list of weapons?

 

[Deleted]

Well, if im in a crowd then the fight will surely not last very long, it will be broken up and/or people will call the authorities.

the more people watching a fight the less likely someone will help you, especially if you're teenagers.

 

[joshuaayt]

Well, I cannot fight- besides the fact that there is not a single girl in my year who couldn't beat me up (And it is worth noting that we have some real shorties, too), I abhor violence, and I'd try to resolve it through talking. Yeah, probably wouldn't work, but I'm not going to exacerbate the issue by trying to hurt one of them. I assume they have surrounded me, leaving escape as a non-option? Well, hopefully the crowd will attempt to aid the defenseless teenager...though I wouldn't really blame them if they didn't, groups can be pretty intimidating.

 

[superbatranger]

Four or five? Karate would do nothing. You'd punch one and the others would beat the shit out of you.

Anyway, run into traffic. Because they wouldn't be stupid enough to chase me there, and I'd hopefully be able to dodge the cars.

Damn it, that was my idea. Either that or grab the closest thing I could find and start swinging.

 

[Super Toast]

Myself? If the guy's aren't too big, I'd use my 8 years of karate to go after one, and hope that the shock of seeing a really skinny guy snap someone's arm does the rest.

To quote Cracked;

WILL NOT HAPPEN

 

[Ekonk]

Run like a ************, of course.

 

[orangebandguy]

Fistful of Keys and aim for the face, yelling while doing so.

 

[Hepotitus]

If you are outnumbered and in a crowded location there isn't much you can do. They won't just let you snap one of their necks or run if one got KO'd. Your best bet is to try and run, squeezing through the crowd; naturally they wouldn't be able to stay in their group and slowly get separated. If one does catch you you'd have at least a few seconds of an honest fight before the others get there and whoop your ass.

If you want to be unrealistic then I'd pull a Frank West, get up on the crowd's shoulders and walk my ass to safety.

 

[Tourette]

I'd beat the shit out of them.

 

[Something Amyss]

Run. It's been sai before, and I'll say it again. Even having taken Aiki Jujutsu, I'm not foolish enough to think I'm invincible.

 

[Cheesus333]

What would really happen, OP gets decked and mugged

Is it wrong to hope that skeptics like you actually do get mugged?

I guess it probably is, so... I'll just hope you trip up and bruise your toe a little. That's less mean.

Seriously. Karate is disciplined, and really fucking hard to do right. People who train in it for eight years deserve your respect. I've seen people go into dojos and come out broken - mentally or physically, you choose.

OT: I would stop whichever one tried to attack me first, then run. I'm a black belt, but I'm not stupid. I'm also quite a fast sprinter.

EDIT: My God, I just scanned through some of the posts and a lot of you guys are really friggin' pessamistic! I mean, what is this idea that if you're gang-attacked you will inevitably and instantly die?

 

[Sleekgiant]

What would really happen, OP gets decked and mugged

Is it wrong to hope that skeptics like you actually do get mugged?

I guess it probably is, so... I'll just hope you trip up and bruise your toe a little. That's less mean.

Seriously. Karate is disciplined, and really fucking hard to do right. People who train in it for eight years deserve your respect. I've seen people go into dojos and come out broken - mentally or physically, you choose.

OT: I would stop whichever one tried to attack me first, then run. I'm a black belt, but I'm not stupid. I'm also quite a fast sprinter.

I've seen black belts get decked many times by people with no karate training.......

 

[rokkolpo]

go for the gonads!

that would either get them really mad or incapacitated long enough to run like hell!
(which would be my first option anyway)

 

[Cheesus333]

What would really happen, OP gets decked and mugged

Is it wrong to hope that skeptics like you actually do get mugged?

I guess it probably is, so... I'll just hope you trip up and bruise your toe a little. That's less mean.

Seriously. Karate is disciplined, and really fucking hard to do right. People who train in it for eight years deserve your respect. I've seen people go into dojos and come out broken - mentally or physically, you choose.

OT: I would stop whichever one tried to attack me first, then run. I'm a black belt, but I'm not stupid. I'm also quite a fast sprinter.

I've seen black belts get decked many times by people with no karate training.......

The world is a strange and confusing place. Now I'm in a bad mood :/ I will not enjoy this burger as much as I'd hoped.

But seriously, I feel less concerned by any reality these hypothetical situations may possess and more by the general attitude of the majority of replies. One person isn't invincible, but following basic logic - five people aren't either. Every post alternates between the individual being Superman and the gang being fucking ninjas or something.

Ah well. I'd better just eat my food before I rupture a blood vessel. Meat tastes better when I'm not passing out.

 

[Axolotl]

Having done various marial arts for many years I can honestly say I am utterly useless at unarmed combat.

I am however fairly skilled at lieing, running away and if all else fails and physical combat is inevitable, I'll cheat.