Deleting the ex on facebook...

[Squilookle]

This is probably the most juveline topic I've ever created. Sorry in advance...

So my ex and I broke up just over a year ago. We were together many years, got along really well, and even after we broke up we went out for some food, chatting like close friends the entire time. When she left for work, we had one final massive makeout.

After some time to adjust to single life again, I felt ready to do what we had both always said we'd do: be friends. I contacted her and asked how she was going, and if she'd like to meet up. She said she was so busy preparing for a trip she doubted she'd have any time for it.

On the eve of her trip (last September) I wished her well for her trip. She thanked me, and said she'd be sure to contact me when she returned. She got back from her trip in early November, and apart from an exchange of birthday wishes this year, I've heard absolutely nothing from her.

One of her friends tells me she probably just needs more time, so I decided I'd give her a whole year and a day from the breakup to get in contact with me again.

That day is today.​

I had decided that if I hadn't heard from her by now, I would never hear from her, so it would be best just to delete her facebook and forget about it.

Don't get me wrong- this isn't a getting back together thing. Romantically I have well and truly happily moved on. It just gets to me that my ex- who had a major impact on my life- cannot -or WILL not- allow herself to be friends with me. I always like to stay friends with former lovers, and the fact that she of all people stays so silent really gets to me.

Anyway, I was planning to delete her on facebook, but I'm now hesitating. What if she really IS still getting over it? Does anyone ever really take a whole year to get over someone?

I also see deleting her as an irreversible sign that I never want to see her again, which is not the case. Man I'm so confused..

 

[Eleuthera]

Do you have regular contact with everyone on your FB friends list? If not, why would this be any different?

I keep my FBFL purposely small, and throw out non-contacts regularly, so for me she'd probably be gone.

 

[Smooth Operator]

Well this "ex to friend" thing really doesn't work for everyone, I went through that a couple of times and it is just the worst thing if you are trying to move on because it's a wound that will get opened every damn time the ex shows up again.
The other thing is not all friendships you keep, there are plenty of people who will move out of your circle over the years and it's not really something to be upset about... things just change.

Now I don't know where you two stand on this, but I would suggest moving onto greener pastures.

 

[Eamar]

I'd say just move on. It happens, it's sad, but it's often for the best.

My ex and I both said we'd like to eventually be friends after having been together, lived together and generally been a huge part of each other's lives for nearly three years. I'm pretty sure we both meant it sincerely at the time, but in the year and a half since then I've just realised that I don't actually need or particularly want to keep him around, and I get the impression he's done the same as we've had pretty much no contact since. We were part of each other's lives and worked well together for the most part then, but that's no guarantee that things would work so well now.

As Mr.K. pointed out, this is just as much a fact of life for friendships as it is for romantic relationships. People change, circumstances change, people no longer "click" together or need each other. Let it be.

 

[EeveeElectro]

Like others have said, just move on. People just forget and feelings fade over time. At least you haven't ended on a bad note, so there's some drama off your mind.

If it bugs you that she isn't interested in talking then you should take up the same stance and just delete her.

Two of my exes have blocked me on Facebook because their current girlfriends are controlling bitches and probably find me a threat somehow. Be safe in the knowledge that you did this off your own back, she can always send you a message if she wants to keep in touch. More likely she won't realise you're gone until a few months after like I do.

 

[Squilookle]

Thanks everyone. I was on the verge of doing it and just needed to make sure I was doing it for the right reasons.

It is done. Oddly, I feel nothing.