So, we've all had those dreams. Dreams where we can swear we can fly only to wake up and realize we never will. Dreams of fantastical and wonderful stories, which not only become unattainable once we reenter the waking world, but also dull and meaningless as the fully alert mind provides logic for it. For me though, the most depressing dream was a month ago.
Let me tell you about my son named Joey. He's a great kid. Smart, cool but not too cool to play video games with his old man. I remember the day he was born, I immediately fell in love for him. All the apparent meaningless and mundanity of life was vanished, I had a son, I had a purpose. I swore that I would give this kid the best life possible. God, I worked hard to meet that promise, and God was it worth it. I remember taking him sledding with his mother, and flying in an airplane and...
And it all never happened. I woke that morning and in the haze of sleep, the haze between lives, I slowly came to realize there was no Joey, no wife, no purpose. What was worse though, is that as the details of my life came back to me, I slowly realized that Joey wasn't simply non-existent. I realized he was murdered, I killed him, I killed my son. I have already made a promise to myself and to the world, to dedicate myself fully to creation, to labour endlessly and create works to leave the world richer than when I found it. I can't have a son, I can't dedicate myself to him and to creation.
The thing is, that dream didn't just fade away as a meaningless night hallucination. It tormented me throughout the rest of that day, even into the rest of the week. I found myself remembering this boy who was no more than a fantasy of the mind, and having to fight back tears that he never would be.
Anyway, I just kind of wanted to share that. Tell me your good dreams and depressing realizations upon waking.
Let me tell you about my son named Joey. He's a great kid. Smart, cool but not too cool to play video games with his old man. I remember the day he was born, I immediately fell in love for him. All the apparent meaningless and mundanity of life was vanished, I had a son, I had a purpose. I swore that I would give this kid the best life possible. God, I worked hard to meet that promise, and God was it worth it. I remember taking him sledding with his mother, and flying in an airplane and...
And it all never happened. I woke that morning and in the haze of sleep, the haze between lives, I slowly came to realize there was no Joey, no wife, no purpose. What was worse though, is that as the details of my life came back to me, I slowly realized that Joey wasn't simply non-existent. I realized he was murdered, I killed him, I killed my son. I have already made a promise to myself and to the world, to dedicate myself fully to creation, to labour endlessly and create works to leave the world richer than when I found it. I can't have a son, I can't dedicate myself to him and to creation.
The thing is, that dream didn't just fade away as a meaningless night hallucination. It tormented me throughout the rest of that day, even into the rest of the week. I found myself remembering this boy who was no more than a fantasy of the mind, and having to fight back tears that he never would be.
Anyway, I just kind of wanted to share that. Tell me your good dreams and depressing realizations upon waking.
