Depression Vs. Loneliness

[zelda2fanboy]

I've been feeling pretty good for the past few months, probably due in part to the fact that it's summer. But every once in awhile, one gets a glimpse at a life that could be and is not. I recently had one of these experiences and stupidly made the mistake of googling advice, which led to the inevitable thrashing around in bed in emotional agony for two hours before I could go to sleep. I got up early this morning to expressly avoid staying up late again and risking crying like a ***** at 2 am.

My life story aside, is there a noted difference in psychology between loneliness and depression? I know the only reason I get miserable like this is mostly owed to not having any friends or a romantic partner and it usually coincides with seeing someone else's life in comparison. That's the only point of contention in my mind. There is no pill that can make me not lonely. Are "depressed" people just unreasonably miserable, or could the condition be helped by more social interaction? However, I've been depressed about being alone before, but I've also felt really good about being alone, too. Is depression connected to loneliness, or are they wholly unique and different?

(And please, no advice on how to meet people. Whatever you say will seem impossible anyways, leading to more private tantrums.)

 

[Jedamethis]

Damnit man, I'm a guy on the internet, not a psychologist!

I reckon you should talk to some people who know about things like this. Because I don't think many of us do. :/

 

[Catie Caraco]

I am speaking from recent experience... depression and loneliness are not the same thing, and aren't really connected. I had to medically withdraw from college in spring '10 because I was so depressed. I couldn't get out of bed, I'd stare at the walls into the wee hours of the morning unable to sleep, I'd have random sob-fits, I wasn't eating, and I most definitely was not attending class in any way shape or form.

I was surrounded by people, and doing my best to hide it from them. I'd drive my roommate to campus, arrange to meet her for lunch (and not eat much of anything.) I talked to my boyfriend daily on Skype... I was even a member of a sorority, surrounded by my sisters.

According to 'traditional' standards of what is depressing, I had no reason to be depressed. I had friends and a social network, I had a boyfriend, my grandmother had just beating cancer instead of being killed by it like my other grandmother, my mother had gone sober (though that didn't last for more than a few months) thus reducing the risk of my parents divorcing... why the hell was I depressed?

Because clinical depression is about a chemical imbalance in the brain. The chemicals which are all about being and feeling happy aren't reaching the receptors where they are supposed to go so the brain knows it's happy. And it becomes this nasty cycle of feeling bad, knowing you shouldn't feel bad, and feeling bad because you feel bad.

My advice is to go speak to a mental health professional, or at least your normal doctor, and think about getting on some anti-depressants. This is the 2000's, hell the 2010's, there is no need to be ashamed about it. Though trust me, I understand that there is going to be a lot of shame in admitting that you're depressed. If you have a close connection to your family, admitting it to them will take a lot of weight off of your shoulders.

So an anti-depressant won't make you less lonely. I don't really think that is the root of your problems. If there are times when you feel fine about being lonely, then that's not the issue. It's probably all down to brain chemistry, in which case an anti-depressant will help.

The bottom line is: Seek out help, and don't feel ashamed when you do.

 

[zelda2fanboy]

Depression isn't a down day or week or month, its ongoing for months. It impacts sleeping, eating, and general health. You have a low mood, withdraw from life, become unable to experience pleasure in activities you used to find pleasurable, you avoid activities including things that should be desirable, an inapprioriate levels of guild and self loathing, feel helpless and hopeless, may experience pychosis and delusions, often experience insomnia or hypersomnia, reduced or eliminated sex drive, fatigue, and many other unpleasant things.

Depression can't be solved by "go out and do something fun" or "go out and exercise" or "get some friends" because real depression makes you unable to do any of that, even if you know it might help. In fact it usually causes you to chase your friends and family away and adds loneliness to your problems.

Thanks for the quick and concise answer.

The bottom line is: Seek out help, and don't feel ashamed when you do.

Based off of the information presented, I don't think I'm depressed. I feel more or less fine right now. I have been depressed before and I can certainly recognize the symptoms in my past. My real "I know it was depression now" run happened around my junior year of college. I can't help but think that that was really set off by what was going on in my life and the subsequent feelings of failure and despair, which seem fairly reasonable to have had in retrospect. That doesn't really pass the "brain chemical imbalance" test. Can life events contribute to a chemical imbalance?

 

[Evil Top Hat]

Can life events contribute to a chemical imbalance?

I'm not exactly qualified to answer questions on chemical imbalance, but depression is almost always induced rather than something you are born to feel. How happy you are as a person is somewhat genetic (some people are born with more dopamine, which is largely responsible for feeling happy) but loneliness is a major contributor in depression, and the source of a lot of depression sufferers' problems. The real kick in the nuts is that depressed people feel less energetic, and less able to pursue company or be involved in social interaction, creating something of a viscious cycle.

There is a very big difference between liking being on your own and being lonely. I've always preffered being on my own, and that used to be okay. When I was younger I was an extremely popular and charismatic kid at my school, so it was okay for me to be on my own, because even though I spent most of my free time by myself, I always had a solid and dependable source of friends. Plus, I wasn't pent up with other life issues that I was dying to talk to them about.

Now though thanks to a lot of problems, (including the aforementioned viscous cycle) I have a lot less in the way of friends, and barely any of them are people I would entrust a secret or feeling to of which (thanks to being a teenager) there are many. Although I like being on my own just as much as I used to, and spend just as much time on my own as I used to, I now feel lonely, because there are no friends waiting for me as a safety net.

(I'm not pretending I have depression, I've just read up a lot about it, and have been through a 2 year block of general unhappiness, so I can empathise with you)

 

[Flizzick]

In my opinion? No, I honestly do not believe depression and loneliness are intimately related. While I do believe loneliness is often a cause or part of depression, the feelings of depression and loneliness are two different things entirely.

Speaking as someone with anxiety and VERY mild depression, I have found that whenever I slip into a low, the feeling is an almost unbearable sense of emotion that overtakes my mind and affects everything in my life. It also seems to be seasonal and not sporadic, usually occurring in late summer or early fall and lasting for up to three months. During this time I usually become more sensitive and emotional to everything, feeling slow, unambitious, and isolating myself from the world even more than usual.

With loneliness it is much different, especially when I am not currently experiencing a low. Unlike depression and anxiety, which are chemical and affect the entire body, loneliness is more of a mind thing. You may feel physically healthy and fine, and even be happy and productive in daily life, but with loneliness it feels as though no matter how happy you may be, there is a small nibbling bit of doubt that chews through your mind and makes you feel hollow and incomplete.