Depression vs. trying to do something with myself

[Nothing Tra La La]

For the last few months I've become completely complacent. I hardly ever go out and rarely engage in social situations. I'm starting up classes in a few days, which should be a good thing.
Instead, I'm in the worst place emotionally I've been in a while (I'm talking years).
Before summer started, I felt really good about things. I'd graduated early and already had a ton of college credits under my belt and got free tuition to any state school I choose. I felt like my hard work was finally paying off, but now I feel absolutely drained. The thought of going to school is daunting. I don't want to go back to big social situations. I'm not even that worried about classes in general, because I've done fine in school all my life. Despite that, I'm dreading the coming months.
I feel awful. I'm always tired, I'll sleep upwards of 12 hours and spend my time awake huddled alone in my room. It's the first time I've even thought about suicide in years.
I've had depression for a while now and I'm medicated, but I didn't think things would get so much worse so quickly. Like, just within a few weeks I'm suddenly at a major low. I'm so blessed and I'm aware of how much I have, but it's just a battle to go on.
I'm 17 - I shouldn't be this sad.
My home life is less than ideal, I haven't the slightest clue what I want to do in the future (which freaks me out immensely), and I just feel so drained. I really don't know what to do anymore.

 

[Ando85]

For the last few months I've become completely complacent. I hardly ever go out and rarely engage in social situations. I'm starting up classes in a few days, which should be a good thing.
Instead, I'm in the worst place emotionally I've been in a while (I'm talking years).
Before summer started, I felt really good about things. I'd graduated early and already had a ton of college credits under my belt and got free tuition to any state school I choose. I felt like my hard work was finally paying off, but now I feel absolutely drained. The thought of going to school is daunting. I don't want to go back to big social situations. I'm not even that worried about classes in general, because I've done fine in school all my life. Despite that, I'm dreading the coming months.
I feel awful. I'm always tired, I'll sleep upwards of 12 hours and spend my time awake huddled alone in my room. It's the first time I've even thought about suicide in years.
I've had depression for a while now and I'm medicated, but I didn't think things would get so much worse so quickly. Like, just within a few weeks I'm suddenly at a major low. I'm so blessed and I'm aware of how much I have, but it's just a battle to go on.
I'm 17 - I shouldn't be this sad.
My home life is less than ideal, I haven't the slightest clue what I want to do in the future (which freaks me out immensely), and I just feel so drained. I really don't know what to do anymore.

Try to relax about everything. When you start college you will make new friends naturally. A big social situation you aren't used to might seem daunting, but just take it slow.

Also at this point you can put more thoughts in what you want to do as a career for the rest of your life. The first two years are general stuff so you won't have to make a firm decision quite yet. It is almost like repeating the 9th grade. But, do start thinking about it.

A lot of people who don't really understand depression will sometimes make you feel guilty since you have so much going for you. Don't listen to them. There are billionaires who are depressed and people living under the poverty who are completely happy.

It is kind of hard to do when you are depressed but you might consider working out. Going for brisk walks or a jog (whichever you are most comfortable with) and getting a lot of sunlight are natural ways to improve your mood.

 

[Afr0Blu3]

You're 17. Trust me, you're fine. No one grows up with the typical "everything is hunky dory" shown on TV. Everybody feels the weight of the world and the choices they need to make come crashing down on them, there's nothing unusual about that.

As for not knowing what you want to do with your life? I've known people who knew the second they hit 15 exactly what they were aiming for, I've known others that didn't figure it out until they were 30, and others who never figured it out at all, but you know what? They all lived, they were all happy, and the world didn't end.

I know this sounds a little harsh, but come on, even you've said yourself you're aware of just how much you DO have. Focus on that, buck the hell up, and get on with it! No one can make a positive change in your life except for you.

... The hell are you doing asking the internet for advice anyway? The internet generally sucks at that.