Desperate for help coming out.

[Idon'tcareanymore]

I'm really sick of lying to everyone because I'm afraid. I'm a trans woman who is deeply in the closet and I want to come out. However, I don't exactly have the best home environment to do so. My parents are both VERY conservative and don't much think much of "trannies" like me. I asked for a Barbie for Christmas one year, and got sent to my room because of it. Girls are girls and boys are boys. So, I've been forced to live as a guy forever... And it's killing me on the inside. I seriously feel like I want to die because I'm holding the girl that's on the inside there, and she's dying every day I don't let her out.

So, if anyone has any experience coming out to parents, it'd be really helpful.

 

[thebakedpotato]

Personally I'd wait till you are able to afford rent and food and all that crap on your own. Far less stressful then.

Building a life for yourself is priority. Telling folks close about it comes after.

 

[Dismal purple]

Not so much experience with conservative parents I'm afraid. My family have been okay with it. My mother have accepted my new identity and helps me buy clothes. A while ago she asked me if I wanted to have her middle name, I said yes and she said that maybe she'll have a daughter after all.

Do you need the approval from your parents in order to seek help?

 

[sanquin]

The harsh truth is that in your case it's best to wait until you move out. (And I would move out as soon as possible, from what I'm hearing.) I'm guessing you're a teenager, which means your hormones are still going at it. Those hormones make your gender problems seem much worse than they really are. They're still bad, but not end of the world bad. So...just try to hold out until you can live away from your parents. As I'm pretty sure that they...won't exactly be accepting.

 

[Brown Cap]

Personally I'd wait till you are able to afford rent and food and all that crap on your own. Far less stressful then.

Building a life for yourself is priority. Telling folks close about it comes after.

This is the right idea.
If you're 18, in paying your way through college/life. You have the right to live in your own style.
If you're still in high school or even a little farther back, then it is the sad, unfortunate truth that your parents still have a heavy amount of decision in your life. Although I'd never advise some one not to be his or her self, starting what you anticipate to be a major conflict with your parents is not the best idea.
One of the important things is to be comfortable with who you are, not fearful or afraid. There will be a day that you can do what you want as the person you want to be, but today might not be that day. The only reason being, you are being the better person by tolerating your parents until you can live your life as an adult.

You have my love, stranger.

 

[Dismal purple]

See a psychiatrist without your parents knowledge.

 

[Angelowl]

Best advice I can offer, get out. Not come out, but get out of there and have a home of your own. One really need that extra distance and privacy at times. Trust me, I know how difficult that can be. Half failing on my end with that.

 

[EeveeElectro]

If you come out now, you risk the chance of being kicked out and left homeless.
If you're under 18 and living in the UK, and they kick you out your parents will get in trouble with the law because you're a minor.
Assuming you're over 18, there is homeless hostels if you can get into one, but it's not a great way to live.
Get a job if you haven't already and save up. Look into moving in with someone to lessen the bills.
It's going to be hard, but I would wait until you're moved out before coming out to your parents so you still have that safety net of a roof over your head if they decide to disown you.
Don't be brash and think about things carefully. The last thing you want is to be out on the streets, even though I'm sure it's hurting you every day to keep this secret.

Stay strong because it's going to be okay. If your parents can't love the real you, then they aren't very nice people and you shouldn't want them in your life anyway.

 

[Chromatic Aberration]

I'm really sick of lying to everyone because I'm afraid.

Kind of a no-brainer but I assume you did talk to a medical professional about this yet? If you didn't I think it might be advantageous to do so first - it will give you a first insight about what will need to happen in due time and it will also help you to speak with that person openly in RL. In the same vein, talk to other transgendered people - they share your plight and might give you useful tips on what to do and how to go on from here. Check out if there are any local transgender groups you can visit or check out the transgender group here on the Escapist [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/groups/view/Transgenders-of-Escapist] - you are bound to find people that know what you are going through and give you helpful tips as to what to do and to expect.

As for your parents, well, I'd agree with the rest - they probably don't know what they are dealing with and they are afraid of it maybe even to the point that their conservativeness will drive them to lash out at it when it comes to close to them. You must know if that is the case. But from what I'm reading, I'd very much suggest to heed the others advice and wait till you have your own place to live before you disclose any of this to your parents.

Either way, good luck to you and keep kicking.