Devil's Dictionary

[Labyrinth]

I'm not sure if any of you have heard of this before, it sure wouldn't surprise me either way, but none the less I find it amusing.

The Devil's Dictionary is a series of humourous definitions for various words, many of which employ irony, satire and the like. Below are a few, do keep adding your own.

Nostalgia n. The blurred and rose-tinted filter through which one may gaze with hindsight's 20 20 vision.

Politics n. The diplomatic act of lying for ones country.

Lawyer n. One skilled in the circumnavigation of the law.

Aboriginies n. Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilise.

Enjoy!

 

[sheic99]

That's awesome I need to pick up a copy of it.

Edit: removed comment

 

[Spartan Bannana]

Edit: w00ts first post

Just a heads up sheic, we don't do that on this site, it's likely to get you banned or put on probation

This sounds awesome,

Where can I find this holy tome?

^ that

 

[the fifth]

wow this thing is great. and to those above me did you ever hear of Google

 

[Labyrinth]

The point of this thread is that we should make up our own.

And the holy tome can be found here. [http://www.thedevilsdictionary.com/]

 

[smallharmlesskitten]

PRESIDENT, n. The leading figure in a small group of men of whom ? and of whom only ? it is positively known that immense numbers of their countrymen did not want any of them for President.

 

[cleverlymadeup]

gravity, n, a vile temptress
goggles, n, they actually do nothing

 

[BBQ Platypus]

I remember reading that book a while back. Two entries that I remember were:

ACCORD, n. Harmony.

ACCORDION, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.

 

[Mr. Moose]

Sparta, n, Not Madness

 

[Jark212]

SORCERY, n. The ancient prototype and forerunner of political influence. It was, however, deemed less respectable and sometimes was punished by torture and death. Augustine Nicholas relates that a poor peasant who had been accused of sorcery was put to the torture to compel a confession. After enduring a few gentle agonies the suffering simpleton admitted his guilt, but naively asked his tormentors if it were not possible to be a sorcerer without knowing it.

 

[Dommyboy]

A witty site on the internet? What is this madness?

SELFISH, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.

Gotta love it.

 

[crepesack]

troll:[in forums] someone who hides within the tubes of the internet in Alaska waiting for a senator to sound like a total idiot.

 

[guyy]

Huh...I didn't know someone had put this thing online. (It's also a [a href=http://books.google.com/books?id=5izZJ-MDCy8C&dq=the+devil's+dictionary&pg=PP1&ots=N2Nweh7Ez3&source=bn&sig=Ei9oqupGJ0rZEChYfI1cuxOIsVM&hl=en&sa=X&oi=book_result&resnum=4&ct=result#PPA11,M1]book[/a].)


DIE, n. The singular of "dice." We seldom hear the word, because there is a prohibitory proverb, "Never say die." At long intervals, however, some one says: "The die is cast," which is not true, for it is cut. The word is found in an immortal couplet by that eminent poet and domestic economist, Senator Depew:

A cube of cheese no larger than a die
May bait the trap to catch a nibbling mie.



MAN, n. An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be. His chief occupation is extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada.

 

[Souplex]

Souplex, n. A being so great that he renders all others worthless by comparison.

 

[the monopoly guy]

Souplex, n. A being so great that he renders all others worthless by comparison.

Self worth n. That false veil of confidence people tend to wear.


Hope n. Be it damned, hope is that little tingle in the back of your mind, that maybe, maybe, we will see something on Duck Nukem: Forever this year at E3.

The Internet n. The death of your childhood.

 

[Xhumed]

Ah, one of my favourite works.

Customer n. Someone who loses all common decency and intelligence through the act of purchasing something from you.

 

[Sirisaxman]

COCK n. A bird, what did you expect?

 

[falcontwin]

COCK n. A bird, what did you expect?

Cock n. Sirisaxman.

Thats a joke by the way seeing as getting banned/probation on this site is a daily occurance for anyone with an off centre sense of humour.

 

[Sirisaxman]

COCK n. A bird, what did you expect?

Cock n. Sirisaxman.

Thats a joke by the way seeing as getting banned/probation on this site is a daily occurance for anyone with an off centre sense of humour.

I can be, what of it? ;-)

Don't worry, I'm not easily offended, as I have a pretty offensive sense of humor.