Did I do the right thing?

[DesertMummy]

Alright, so I was going out this this girl, and things were grade A, I mean, we genuinely loved each other, I was head over heels for her, and the feeling was mutual. But then life got in the way, and she moved.

Being that we are only 16, there was no real way to be with each other any longer, her parents decided to pick up sticks and GTFO, and poof, she was gone. We stayed in contact though, for about 4 months, we stayed basically in constant contact with one an other.

But then, my interest began to fade. I was just not feeling it anymore. She was over a thousand miles away, and on;y able to talk over text. Maybe I'm an asshole, and it had to do with lack of sex, the inability to sleep with her anymore, but regardless I was done, and over it.

However, she wasn't. She was still MADLY in love with me. Like, Romeo and Juliet type shit. And she had just lost both her grandma AND her best friend to cancer. I was afraid that she was mentally unstable, and might do something harmful to herself if I simply told her the truth. But, there was no way I could stand sending half hearted texts, and hollow "I love you"'s any longer. So, I lied.

I fabricated some story about how I had been grounded or some bullshit or another, and would never be able to see her in summer or text her anymore. So my question is, did I do the right thing? What should I have done or can i still do? Any help would be immensely appreciated.

 

[Giftfromme]

well you can't be her psychiatrist but I guess you should come out with the truth sooner or later. Unless you genuinely won't talk to her again, then the lie won't matter much. Well not in my opinion. But if you plan to keep talking, then just say the truth imo

 

[Angie7F]

I recently read a thread by a guy that went through something close to what you are experiencing, and he did the same thing. (Though the girl was a stalking ex girlfriend...)

Rather than telling her its over for good, which will most likely aggravate her, its better to come up with reasons why you cant be in contact.
Leave her alone for a while while she still believes that you two can be back together in the future, and wait until she eventually comes out of her depressed grieving state and move on by herself.

Its very hard to deal with unstable people, and the more you pay attention to them, the higher the risk of being dragged along with them too.
If you no longer have feelings for her, what you chose to do was very wise.

Aleast IMO...

 

[Keoul]

You seem pretty shallow if you only "loved" her for the physical contact :L

I think you did the best you could in that situation

 

[DesertMummy]

I wasn't with her only for sex, she is the one who first suggested we have sex in the first place, but 4 moths of just talking, not even a hug or kiss, and only over text, it was getting kind of ridiculous. And I don't personally think it was from lack of physical contact, I'm just suggesting that maybe, subconsciously, my male brain initiated the lack of interest due to the lack of contact.

 

[Phasmal]

Tbh, I think you took the cowards way out.
If you thought this chick was mental enough to harm herself or others if you ended it with her, how do you think she will react when your contact drops off?

I think you should explain to this girl that your relationship is over, she will be upset, but she will move on.

Long distance relationships do work, so don't go blaming it on your male brain and lack of contact. You just need a bit more maturity than people generally have at 16. I'd just say a proper goodbye to this girl, or in a few years you will have to look back and say `Wow, I was a jerk`.

 

[Raven's Nest]

No you've done the wrong thing. Man up and tell her the truth. She deserves at least that much. You are both very young still at 16, you have the rest of your lives to form and end relationships with other people. If you are in any way concerned with how she is feeling, you would call her up and explain the situation. She won't kill herself over it...

 

[manic_depressive13]

Is text really the only way? You can't talk over skype or something?

I think you should be honest with her so that she knows what's going on and is able to come to terms with it, rather than playing these confusing, immature and frankly pathetic games with her.

 

[Jedoro]

Well, you lied for your benefit, so no. Doesn't matter what she does if you tell her the truth, that's not your fault. Your job is to tell her how it is, and where she goes from there is up to her.

Also, if you're that worried about what happens if you tell her the truth, what about if she finds out you lied to her?

 

[Friendly Lich]

Long distance relationships are extremely difficult to maintain. Don't feel like your life has to be something out of a hollywood love story. In the end its better for you to be in a relationship with someone that closer to you. Its just more practical.