Did I just cheat on my girlfriend?

[thehorror2]

So, I recently got into a relationship with a girl I really like, but it's long distance and it's been moving pretty slowly. (She only lately told me she loves me) but she was/is happy, and I'm happy to be with her.

However, there's another girl I knew earlier who's started to sort of make moves on me, and straight up admitted that she'd like to sleep with me. I haven't pushed her away, and I've definitely been flirting with her. I haven't told her that I have girlfriend, either.

So, escapist, what do you think? What, if anything, am I guilty of, and how do you suggest I solve it?

 

[Trull]

Well, if you like this other person you should tell your current girlfriend that it is too difficult and it isn't working out.

Plan b, tell the other girl you have a girlfriend and she'll likely back off

and no, I don't think you've cheated (unless there's something you havent told us)

 

[DeadlyYellow]

Flirting happens. But unless it develops to a physical or emotional connection, it isn't cheating.

 

[Maiestas777]

Flirting isn't cheating, but it is a warning sign. You should probably make a choice and act before it does become cheating.

 

[Catchy Slogan]

Well, tell this girl you have a girlfriend. And not start anything with said girl while you still have a girlfriend. I don't think you've cheated on her as such, but I don't think she'd be best pleased you've been flirting with girl who's openly admitted to wanting to jump your bones without even mentioning she exists. :/

It's either this new girl, or the one that says she loves you.

 

[80Maxwell08]

What do you think? I'm not trying to be sarcastic I mean it literally. In my opinion it's technically not cheating but certainly won't be appreciated and probably wouldn't be tolerated by a majority of people of either gender. If I was in your exact position I would stay with the long distance one and make it clear to the other one I wasn't available for anything but I'm not you and I don't know you or either girl. If you want to stay with the long distance one man up and tell the one hitting on you that you are NOT single and you aren't available for anything. But then again I've never had a girlfriend and I've failed 5 times so whether you take my advice or not depends on if you actually agree with it. We can't make your decisions we can only say our advice and see if you agree with it or not. Best of luck in getting the situation resolved.

 

[Mad World]

Well, you didn't really cheat, I guess. But, it's not good to flirt with someone if you have a girlfriend.

To solve it, simply tell this other girl that you already have a girlfriend. You said you like her, and that she said that she loves you, so why ruin a good thing?

 

[Rylot]

You haven't actually lied or cheated yet, but you are omitting the truth from both of them. It's decision time.

 

[Hauntghost20]

Theres a high chance she could be cheating on you.
long distance GF/BF is just spelling my boyfreind wont know DO ME!!

 

[Astoria]

Flirting isn't cheating but it can lead to it. A while ago there was a girl who was constantly flirting with my boyfriend and he didn't tell her to back off. It ended up with him sorta cheating on me. Tell this girl that you have a girlfriend and if she backs off then all is good but if she keeps going regardless it might be better to avoid her or break up with your girlfriend because she could just be seeing if she can get you to cheat.

 

[Princess Rose]

So, I recently got into a relationship with a girl I really like, but it's long distance and it's been moving pretty slowly. (She only lately told me she loves me) but she was/is happy, and I'm happy to be with her.

However, there's another girl I knew earlier who's started to sort of make moves on me, and straight up admitted that she'd like to sleep with me. I haven't pushed her away, and I've definitely been flirting with her. I haven't told her that I have girlfriend, either.

So, escapist, what do you think? What, if anything, am I guilty of, and how do you suggest I solve it?

You haven't cheated yet.

You are, however, leading two women on.

Choosing one or the other would be the fastest, simplest method.

Alternatively, you could inform one or both of them of one another, and... well, that might get messy, but at least you'd see where you stood with everyone.

 

[Radelaide]

Easiest way to define cheating EDIT (Emotional cheating counts):

If you're "definitely flirting" with girl B, do you tell girl A about it? If you don't because you think it would hurt her or betray her trust, it's cheating and that's a fairly scummy thing to do.

There is a difference between "harmless flirting" (not being ACTIVELY aware that you're doing it) and "definitely flirting" (where you are making moves on the girl)

 

[Strain42]

Let me ask you something. I need a bit more info on the girlfriend. Is she just someone you met online, have never met in person and haven't really made any specific plans about actually ever doing that?

Because I've been in that situation loads of times, and often the girl eventually has to give me that "Sorry, but I've got a boyfriend now" talk. And trust me, it sucks, but it's easy enough to move on from.

Crap like that though is why I don't bother trying to form long distance internet relationships anymore.

Unless you guys have actually had the "we're boyfriend and girlfriend" talk, I don't really know how you guys see each other.

No, you haven't cheated, but I do think you need to think about what you want to do.

 

[Direwolf750]

You haven't cheated, flirting is flirting. Now what you do from here is what matters. Long distance relationships are usually bad news, they just lack the physical connection that really helps with relationships. However, if it is temporary, and I mean really temporary, then it might be worth waiting out. This girl (from now on, girl 1) sounds like someone that you like, and if it is something that you think is worth waiting out, then it may be worth doing so.

The other option sounds appealing, but you should make sure that you both know what you are both getting into. If this girl (girl 2) thinks that she is just getting some casual sex or a short fling, and you think you are both going for a long term relationship, or vice-verse, then someone is going to get hurt.

One way or another, you are should choose one or the other before you make a move. If you decide to sleep with girl 2, and have second thoughts, then you have cheated, and girl 1 will fell hurt, or you will be keeping a secret the whole time. Just be careful, this sort of situation is delicate, very delicate. These sort of actions have momentum, just be sure of everyone's intentions before any rash actions.

 

[Snugglebunny]

Regardless of the cheating thing or not, you need to tell this girl your flirting with that you're in a relationship! Albeit, 'long distance and slow moving', flirting with her and leading her on while you're involved with another person is terrible!

How awful, to put your feelings out there and find out the jerk you've been flirting with is actually involved with someone else...

SOURCE: Experience.

 

[KarlMonster]

Well, there's no cheating yet, but you're certainly near a point of no return.

It's sure nice to have that kind of local attention, but I'd be torn about whether or not to tell my Long Distance girlfriend about it. Put it this way - if she met someone over there, would you want to know about it?

Edit: Points to Snugglebunny who said what I wanted to say. I just couldn't bring myself to the 'Real Actual Advice' threshold. I'm not keen on telling people what to do - but there are "Best Practices."

 

[Tiger Sora]

She said outright she wanted to sleep with you. *Takes you aside*. Bro this chick is a %&^!@. Never go for the ones that just outright say it. I only see trouble on the path she wants you on. Trouble and pitfalls.