Did I just cheat on my girlfriend?

[Ritter315]

Flirting isnt cheating, technically, but it isnt something you probably dont want to be doing. If youre in a relationship, flirting is pretty much just used for releasing sexual tension. Unless you actually plan on doing something, theres no real use for it.
And I'd really suggest not doing anything, especially if you're in a relationship. I'd leave the situation at that point, up to you.

 

[CheesyPoof]

If you have to ask yourself whether you're cheating or not, you're not going in the right direction.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

You're not guilty of anything... yet. Although I would suggest if you're going to pursue this new relationship, you should probably end the other one first before someone gets hurt. ...well more hurt than they would otherwise anyway. Although if you ask me, this new girl sounds far too eager if you ask me.

Edit:

If you have to ask yourself whether you're cheating or not, you're not going in the right direction.

Also that.

 

[TheLoneBeet]

The only thing you've done wrong is not establish you have a girlfriend. If you tell this other girl that she may change her opinion towards you. This could go either way though; she may back off and respect your commitment to your relationship or she may try harder to steal you away from your current girlfriend.

You're not cheating by the way, flirting is completely fine and if your girlfriend has a problem with it that's probably a bad sign anyway.

 

[orangeapples]

about you and your relationship with your current girlfriend:

1. how recently?
2. how long distance?
3. backstory?
4. how often do you talk to eachother? over the phone or webcam, not e-mail or text or facebook.
5. when is the next time you plan on seeing each other?

Depending on your answer to these 5 questions, you will get different answers.

if recently means a few months then try to make it work. If it means a few weeks then it was just a fling, people have flings that don't really mean anything in the long run.

truth is, most long distance relationships do not work, doesn't mean they don't; it just requires more work.

not super detail but depending on how things came to be it could also be a sign of something serious, or just a fling.

regular contact is vital for any relationship to work. It helps you know if you want to stay or if you want to leave.

#5 kinda reflects on everything else.

as to the question of, "did you cheat by flirting?" No. Being friendly with friends is just being friendly, but it can lead to cheating if you aren't careful. Let them both know about the situation and be honest about it. Let this friend of your know, that you have a girlfriend and that it really cannot ever go beyond flirting. Let your girlfriend know that this friend of your has been coming on to you but you haven't let it really go anywhere aside from casual flirting.

If this friend of yours actually knows of (even worse, knows) your girlfriend, then stop flirting with this girl

actually, I think that might be best best piece of advice, just stop flirting with this girl. easy fix to all of your problems.

 

[Smooth Operator]

You aren't guilty of anything yet, but you are well on your way to dog town.

I say make up your mind who you want and don't fuck with people, if you really like your GF then rub one off to porn and forget the sleazy one, and if you really really need the nooky then tell your GF she needs to find someone new.
Or screw yourself on both ends and suggest a threesome...

 

[Jedoro]

No cheating yet, but you'll want to be careful. Either break it off with long distance girl or tell local girl you're taken.

 

[Gasaraki]

Nope. Not cheating. Though I'd suggest that you stop for a second and think about whether or not you want to continue with your current girlfriend. Long distance relationships can be a huge pain in the ass.

 

[crudus]

The isn't anything wrong with flirting. Flirting with people who aren't you significant other can arguably be healthy(in moderation at least). Important question: Do you think it is?

 

[Venereus]

Agh, way too much kind-hearted advice so far, time to give it a spin...

Long distance love = 4 people happy.

Get the emotional needs from the long distance GF and the physical needs from the local girl. Voilá!

 

[Captain_Fantastic]

from a guy that comes straight from a horribly failed long distance "thing" i would say go for the easy road it far more worth it

 

[Thundero13]

Tell this other girl that you have a girlfriend, watch her back off, be happy that you're with this first girl

 

[BrionJames]

I had/have a similar situation, except that I have a long-time girlfriend and a girl I work with who is also in a long time relationship, we've worked together for a year or so and have been good friends, our personalities mesh quite well, but neither of us had admitted to each other there feelings towards the other until recently. I went down that road, fooled around a little bit with her but never had sex with her. We're still friends to an extent, but we both agreed that what was happening was not what we wanted for our relationships. There's still some sexual tension between us but we remain friends. You should think long and hard about what you want in from your girlfriend, be it the one far away or the one hitting on you constantly. It's not an easy decision, believe me.

 

[Red Albatross]

The flirting is absolutely fine. As some previous posters pointed out, without dishonest intentions, it can even be healthy in some ways.

It's a bad situation all around, and there's really no right choice. On one hand, if you want a relationship with girl B, it would seem like an obvious solution would be to break up with girl A and go out with girl B, but any girl who's actually WORTH dating will be perceptive enough to wonder if she's disposable, too, the next time you get distracted by something else shiny.

If you cheat on girl A with girl B, then that's unequivocally bad.

I would recommend being honest in this case. Tell girl B you're going out with girl A and you're not cheater. Tell girl A what happened and that even though you might have been tempted, your willpower won out and you wouldn't cheat. Either she admires you for being honest, or she breaks up with you for even being tempted (which would be ridiculous, since it happens to everyone - this has the added bonus of finding out if girl A has a good head on her shoulders). If girl A breaks up with you, tell girl B and she'll probably sympathize and it will make you look fairly good in that you were honest with both parties, and something might even come of it. The problem with this whole strategy is that while it's outwardly honest, it's also sort of manipulative when you think it out that way. Motives matter.

 

[Cain_Zeros]

From what you've told us you haven't yet, but you could potentially end up doing so. The best bet is to decide what you want, and go for that, and only that.

 

[SL33TBL1ND]

Let this girl you're currently doing the long distance thing. Then go from there.

 

[zehydra]

Push her away, because you're only leading this new girl on. If she said that she wants to sleep with you, then it only increases the odds that you'll actually do it.

I'd rather not have a partner who flirts with others regularly. I would dump said person.

 

[zehydra]

Agh, way too much kind-hearted advice so far, time to give it a spin...

Long distance love = 4 people happy.

Get the emotional needs from the long distance GF and the physical needs from the local girl. Voilá!

Until the whole thing comes crashing down when they both find out what's happening.

Terrible advice.

 

[TheTim]

You're not guilty of cheating until you actually do shit with her, but good luck convincing your girlfriend of that.