Dilemma

[Snowalker]

So, I kinda have a bit of a dilemma, I kinda gave up on relationships last year. Not as in "I'm no longer sexually attracted to anything" like an Asexual( I have no problem with Asexuals, just frame of reference), but more of a "Well, this shit just ain't working out, I'mma take a break for a bit." For future reference, I'm 17. So, this is no dire situation or anything, just kinda getting my head straight and getting some guidance.

Well, I got a job for the summer and nothing but girls work there, its Dairy Queen, and I mean seriously, its like me and 1 other guy and he works the grill and I work the front And thats where all the girls work. I love it! I mean I LOVE this job. Most of the girls I knew before I started working and was already good friends with most of them and have little attraction to. But then theres this one... I swear I know its just a crush, but it feels different than most of the ones before. I mean, I just can't focus on hardly anything anymore. I feel like I'm getting some signs that she likes me, like a constant smile towards me, and just common signs I've kinda picked up on.

So now you're probably thinking my dilemma is, well are you going to attempt this relationship or not and stick with your whole break idea. Thats not it, if it were any other situation I'd ask her out, no if and or buts, no hesitation what-so-ever. Thats why this irritates me so much, I'm never like that, I'm the kinda guy who often comes up with multiple reasons not to ask. Like I can think of three off the top of my head unrelated to my dilemma, different social circle (I'm a gamer, she's a cheerleader), no idea if she's taken or not and she probably is, and I literally know next to nothing about her. None of that concerns me... which is very unusual to say the least.

No, my problem is... I know her through work, and only through work, theres a strict no sexual harassment policy, on top of the chance if she's not interested we'll have that whole awkward thing at work. I mean, I have literally no connections other than work, and I will probably not be able to find another job in this small town. And I just feel that would disappoint my parents and myself to lose my job over a girl... I mean sure, it might be worth it now, but how will I feel in the long run if it doesn't work out?

So, my big question is this, is it possible to drop the hint I'm interested while not breaking typical sexual harassment codes? How would be the best way of asking her out, the same restraints? Any 100% certain way to know she's interested (cause if anyone knows how to check that shit out, I'm all ears)?

For discussion, have you ever had a situation like this? and how'd it work out?

 

[BlueberryMUNCH]

Well, I'm 16 and in England so I'm so massively under qualified to answer, but I will say this:

If you only know her through work...the only way you'll be able to get to know her any other way is just to ask her out for a coffee or something. That can be seen as perfectly friendly, and not at all 'sexual harassment', right?

Just be all 'Hey, wanna go grab a coffee after work sometime?'. If she says yes...take it from there, see how it goes. If she says no...she says no; life goes on as normal:].
Seeing as though your 17 though, I'm guessing you're gonna be moving out soon...so...yeah, I mean if somehow you do lose your job, it's not the end of the world.

But then, from what I gather, I don't see how that would happen:].

 

[CommanderKirov]

Yes it's a crush, and you do not need to violate any sexual harrasment policies just ask her if she would like to go out with you for coffee or whatever you young kids do nowdays. If she says no do not worry about it and just go on with your lives! I myself have a good friend who I had a crush on before. She and I just laugh about it nowdays.

 

[Neo10101]

Well, being polite and asking someone out on a date, or just if they want to get together after work is far from sexual harassment. Just ask them out and make sure before you make any moves that you are both on the same level.

 

[pubbing]

The definition of sexual harassment is repeated unwanted sexual advances. Thus asking her out is not sexual harassment. As far as your no dating thing goes, you shouldn't make sweeping decisions like that because well, shit happens. I say give it a go; i think you'll be alright.

 

[ddrfr33k]

Here in the states, many companies (DQ included) have policies prohibiting workplace relationships to avoid the hostile work environment that comes with breaking up. Not to mention the awkward moments that would come up.

In short, I don't think it's a good idea. Unless you're top tier employment material and/or don't care about your job, you have everything to lose and little to gain.

 

[Snowalker]

Here in the states, many companies (DQ included) have policies prohibiting workplace relationships to avoid the hostile work environment that comes with breaking up. Not to mention the awkward moments that would come up.

In short, I don't think it's a good idea. Unless you're top tier employment material and/or don't care about your job, you have everything to lose and little to gain.

Yeah, I knew this, that's why I asked for advice... but w/e. Also, there a couple that work at my DQ, but of course they can never work the same shift, but yeah. It doesn't matter, I've kinda decided to go ahead and stick with the no dating thing. It just seems easier. May be pathetic, but so has ever other aspect of my relationship abilities. Here hoping college is better as people say it is, but I'm doubtful since I don't party much.

 

[Griffolion]

So, I kinda have a bit of a dilemma, I kinda gave up on relationships last year. Not as in "I'm no longer sexually attracted to anything" like an Asexual( I have no problem with Asexuals, just frame of reference), but more of a "Well, this shit just ain't working out, I'mma take a break for a bit." For future reference, I'm 17. So, this is no dire situation or anything, just kinda getting my head straight and getting some guidance.

Well, I got a job for the summer and nothing but girls work there, its Dairy Queen, and I mean seriously, its like me and 1 other guy and he works the grill and I work the front And thats where all the girls work. I love it! I mean I LOVE this job. Most of the girls I knew before I started working and was already good friends with most of them and have little attraction to. But then theres this one... I swear I know its just a crush, but it feels different than most of the ones before. I mean, I just can't focus on hardly anything anymore. I feel like I'm getting some signs that she likes me, like a constant smile towards me, and just common signs I've kinda picked up on.

So now you're probably thinking my dilemma is, well are you going to attempt this relationship or not and stick with your whole break idea. Thats not it, if it were any other situation I'd ask her out, no if and or buts, no hesitation what-so-ever. Thats why this irritates me so much, I'm never like that, I'm the kinda guy who often comes up with multiple reasons not to ask. Like I can think of three off the top of my head unrelated to my dilemma, different social circle (I'm a gamer, she's a cheerleader), no idea if she's taken or not and she probably is, and I literally know next to nothing about her. None of that concerns me... which is very unusual to say the least.

No, my problem is... I know her through work, and only through work, theres a strict no sexual harassment policy, on top of the chance if she's not interested we'll have that whole awkward thing at work. I mean, I have literally no connections other than work, and I will probably not be able to find another job in this small town. And I just feel that would disappoint my parents and myself to lose my job over a girl... I mean sure, it might be worth it now, but how will I feel in the long run if it doesn't work out?

So, my big question is this, is it possible to drop the hint I'm interested while not breaking typical sexual harassment codes? How would be the best way of asking her out, the same restraints? Any 100% certain way to know she's interested (cause if anyone knows how to check that shit out, I'm all ears)?

For discussion, have you ever had a situation like this? and how'd it work out?

There's asking out and then there's sexual harassment. Just be honest and ask her out for coffee at the earliest opportunity. She says yes, fantastic. She says no, go back to work and deal with it.