It literally came out here in Finland today, so I guess the rest of the world's gonna have to wait for a bit.
Discuss and Rate the Last Film You Watched
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Sisu: Lapland Drift
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National Lampoon's Sisu
Sisu: 2.0 You Can (Not) Sisu
Sisu (2032)
Sisu: Lapland Drift
S
National Lampoon's Sisu
Sisu: 2.0 You Can (Not) Sisu
Sisu (2032)
Don't forget Susi, the gender-swapped reboot that bombed cuz of something, something, woke.
Sadly releasing the reboot with an unaltered finnish title was a tragic misfire on the marketing department's part, since they failed to consider that the rest of the world wouldn't understand that the title literally meant "Wolf".
A ★★★ review of The Hills Have Eyes (2006)
“Find a signal?” “Nope. 97% nationwide coverage, and we end up in the other 3%.” Wes Craven considered a remake of his 1977 film of the same name once he saw the success of similar remakes like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and The Amityville Horror. His producing partner, Marianne Maddalena, then...
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Love Hurts
I don't know if it's the worst movie of the year, but it's definitely the lamest: a belated Pulp Fiction/True Romance knockoff where everyone feels miscast and is given terrible, just terrible, witless dialogue.
Ke Huy Quan, 54, and Ariana DeBose, 34, are so, so bad as a punky assassin couple, I expect them to walk up on stage at the next Academy Awards and return their respective Oscars as a gag.
I don't know if it's the worst movie of the year, but it's definitely the lamest: a belated Pulp Fiction/True Romance knockoff where everyone feels miscast and is given terrible, just terrible, witless dialogue.
Ke Huy Quan, 54, and Ariana DeBose, 34, are so, so bad as a punky assassin couple, I expect them to walk up on stage at the next Academy Awards and return their respective Oscars as a gag.
I knew the movie was going to be garbage when they cast Marshawn Lynch. Don't get me wrong; I've enjoyed him as a character around the NFL's circles and media since he started his notorious "I'm just here so I won't get fined" campaign (when asked basically any question by the press in post game interviews,) but his schtick doesn't strike me as something that translates to the big screen.
A ★★★½ review of House of Wax (1953)
“I'm going to give the people what they want: sensation, horror, shock... Send them out in the streets to tell their friends how wonderful it is to be scared to death.” This film, a remake of the 1933 film Mystery of the Wax Museum, itself an adaptation of the three-act play The Wax Works, had...
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I'm not really familiar with him outside of showing up in Will Arnett's whodunit improv thing on Netflix, but he struck me about as wooden as any other sports celeb turned bit part actor.
Finally got around to watching Sonic 2. Honestly, pretty much everything I said about the first movie still applies here. It's very funny, looks great, fantastic performances (Jim Carrey is a top 3 Robotnik/Eggman), and all the good stuff was made even better. Tails and Knuckles are (naturally) excellent additions, and the expansion of the scale and stakes made the whole movie feel a lot more epic.
If you saw the first one, definitely watch the second. And I'll see you all again in another two and a half months (probably) after I've seen the third one.
If you saw the first one, definitely watch the second. And I'll see you all again in another two and a half months (probably) after I've seen the third one.
A ★★★★ review of Phantasm (1979)
"You play a good game boy, but the game is finished. Now you die." This film was inspired by a nightmare that Don Coscarelli had as a teenager, involving him being chased down by a corridor by a flying silver sphere. After a few unsuccessful movies, he decided to try his hand at horror, because...
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A ★★★★ review of The Exorcist (1973)
“Your mother's in here, Karras. Would you like to leave a message? I'll see that she gets it.” To say this film, an adaptation of the novel with the same name by William Peter Blatty, had a troubled production is an understatement. In fact, some have called it outright cursed. The problems...
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Rewatched The World Is Not Enough and Die Another Day. I'm ready to declare the first as the best Brosnan Bond, and the second as nowhere near as bad as people clamor.
TWINE is just great. Like GoldenEye's, the opening has some slick sleight of hand and plays directly into the rest of the story, and while not quite as spectacular it's got a great mix of action and stuntwork, and continues unexpectedly after a quick breather. It's also already playing into the themes of subversion and betrayal. Actually I guess it's a lot like GoldenEye. But it gets capped off by a pretty damn good theme song. When I think of Bond in terms of music I always go back to TWINE's theme song. Cool visuals too. Desmond Llewelyn's Q gets an emotional send-off, Brosnan threads the needle of being sly and cold, M is usefully woven into the narrative, all three Bond girls are smokeshows, Electra is a cool villain, Zukhovsky is a fun ally. There's some skiing action, some underwater action, a quick casino stop, helicopters with buzzsaws and a henchman with a fun gimmick. I don't know what more you want in a Bond movie.
Die Another Day suffers a little too much of "this is what we thought was cool at the time", which is not unusual in lesser Bond movies (see early Roger Moore). So Madonna sings the intro song, and it's a good enough Madonna song, but doesn't feel like a Bond song; then there're two surfing scenes too many, and an overuse of that green HUD that was everywhere in the 90s and early 00s whenver someone looked down a scope, and a sword fight that goes on for too long, and Madonna. But it also gets a lot of the fun exactly right. For one, it finally has Brosnan getting under a villain's nerves, which was Connery's strong suit (I think Bond should always be a bit of a troll), and Graves is a fun villain to take the piss of. In the grand realm of "Bond goes rogue/comes back from the cold" narratives, it's vastly more enjoyable than anything Craig ever did. And I happen to like all the gadgets - the more the merrier - and think an ice palace is a cool setting for the third act.
TWINE is just great. Like GoldenEye's, the opening has some slick sleight of hand and plays directly into the rest of the story, and while not quite as spectacular it's got a great mix of action and stuntwork, and continues unexpectedly after a quick breather. It's also already playing into the themes of subversion and betrayal. Actually I guess it's a lot like GoldenEye. But it gets capped off by a pretty damn good theme song. When I think of Bond in terms of music I always go back to TWINE's theme song. Cool visuals too. Desmond Llewelyn's Q gets an emotional send-off, Brosnan threads the needle of being sly and cold, M is usefully woven into the narrative, all three Bond girls are smokeshows, Electra is a cool villain, Zukhovsky is a fun ally. There's some skiing action, some underwater action, a quick casino stop, helicopters with buzzsaws and a henchman with a fun gimmick. I don't know what more you want in a Bond movie.
Die Another Day suffers a little too much of "this is what we thought was cool at the time", which is not unusual in lesser Bond movies (see early Roger Moore). So Madonna sings the intro song, and it's a good enough Madonna song, but doesn't feel like a Bond song; then there're two surfing scenes too many, and an overuse of that green HUD that was everywhere in the 90s and early 00s whenver someone looked down a scope, and a sword fight that goes on for too long, and Madonna. But it also gets a lot of the fun exactly right. For one, it finally has Brosnan getting under a villain's nerves, which was Connery's strong suit (I think Bond should always be a bit of a troll), and Graves is a fun villain to take the piss of. In the grand realm of "Bond goes rogue/comes back from the cold" narratives, it's vastly more enjoyable than anything Craig ever did. And I happen to like all the gadgets - the more the merrier - and think an ice palace is a cool setting for the third act.
To me, Die Another Day is the worst Bond movie. The main reason is that yes, Bond movies have their formula, I can't argue that. However, literally every element of Die Another Day's plot was done in another Bond movie, and done better in that movie. Bond going rogue? Not only was that in Licence to Kill, but that film actually ran with it for the whole movie, whereas this one just kind of drops it after a few scenes. Satellite that destroys things through heat beams, plus a villain from Bond's past that has changed his appearance in order to hide his real identity? Diamonds Are Forever, which wasn't great, but it was a lot of camp fun, and Charles Gray has so much more charisma to me than Toby Stephens. Teaming up with a female agent from a rival spy agency? Spy Who Loved Me or Tomorrow Never Dies, take your pick. MI6 agent ends up being one of the villains? Goldeneye, kind of, although Miranda Frost was the best part of this movie, so that might be a stretch.
While I think it's definitely the weakest Brosnan and the syncretic nature of the movie doesn't help make it very memorable - or even all that good - I maintain it's unfairly maligned due to a couple of meme'd-to-death scenes (namely, Bond surfing) and more viscerally fun than the bulk of Craig's tenure. Pierce engaging in the hovercraft version of a Mad Max pursuit, then shaking off 14 months of NK torture by swimming to the nearest 5 star hotel, ordering some champagne and then quickly crippling a spy ops is peak fun. But it gets buried because of some bad CGI/green-screening and Craig's overhyped back-to-basics narrative, which quickly devolved into bad TV anyway.
I can see that point of view. I like most of Craig's run, although I will admit that they don't have the "fun" factor of many of the other Bonds, and when his films were bad, they were the hardest ones to actually watch. I definitely have no desire to ever watch Quantum of Solace or Spectre again, because even if there were Bond movies I liked less, those ones were flat-out unenjoyable.
In my view, the only issue with The World Is Not Enough is that as much as Denise Richards is a beautiful woman she just wasn’t up to the task of playing the opposite to Sophie Marceau.
Other than that, great movie. Great fucking N64 game too.
A ★★★★ review of Slither (2006)
“Now, we humans think we’re more fit, more evolved, because we’re smarter, but we’re neophytes. We’ve only been on this Earth 2 million years, give or take. The cockroach, that fella’s been around 350 million years. So, based on that, which of us is the more successful species?” This film was...
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She definitely doesn't have Sophie Marceau's presence (or acting talent) and isn't particularly believable as a scientist, let alone a nuclear one, but I guess I was never really bothered by her casting because she simply looks the part of a Bond girl. She falls in line with the bimbos previously played by Britt Ekland and Tanya Roberts.
My best to worst ranking is Casino Royale, Skyfall, Spectre and Quantum of Solace. No Time to Die is in the unique position of culminating on a celebration of everything I hate about Craig's Bond, so while I have to begrudgingly recognize the craft that went into it, I also kinda despise it. By then Bond had been moping about Vesper for four movies, displayed zero chemistry with any of the ensuing Bond girls, had come back twice from retirement and failed to stop pretty much every villain other than the creep from Quantum. By then I'm pretty sure I shared Craig's exhaustion with the whole thing.
I will also say that, again, I think there are worse Bond movies technically speaking, but Quantum of Solace is the only Bond movie that felt unpleasant to watch.