Discuss and Rate the Last Film You Watched

[thebobmaster]

A ★★ review of Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice (1992)

“Alright, alright. Anyways, what happened around here?” “Well, a bunch of kids killed all the adults in town. Just your basic Sunday afternoon in the Bible Belt.” This film's production was about as smooth as you'd expect from a pretty low budget sequel to a film that didn't exactly light the...

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[thebobmaster]

A ★★★ review of Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey (1991)

“Dude, there’s no way I can do infinity push-ups.” “Maybe if he lets us do them girly style?” This film didn't have much of a troubled production, as far as I can tell. One interesting thing to note, however, is that William Sadler was very eager to play his part in this movie, as he was a fan...

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[PsychedelicDiamond]

Angel Heart (1987)

Occult film noir, starring Mickey Rourke as sleazy New York private detective Harry Angel in the 50's. A mysterious client with the very inconspicuous name Louis Cyphre, played by Robert DeNiro, sets Angel up with a suspiciously well paid missing persons case to find out the whereabouts of lounge singer Johnny Favorite.

Angel Heart ist a very stylish movie, to the point it's quite easy to overlook that it's also rather dumb. There is an extremely solid setup there, a detective movie with a supernatural gothic horror angle, which moves from New York State to a voodoo infused New Orleans. Accordingly, there's also quite a bit of cool imagery in there. Sadly, the actual mystery is a rather lackluster one, resolved in a fairly underwhelming way and, not to put too a fine a point on it, just about the bluntest exposition dump I've seen in a while.

One of the main issues is that the twist just doesn't make a whole lot of sense considering the story that precedes it. The fact that it was resolved as bluntly as it was certainly didn't help. I dunno, it's just one of those movies where the resolution cheapens most of the genuinely good stuff that led up to it. And don't get me wrong, there is a decent bit of genuinely good stuff in there. DeNiro plays a delightfully smug devil, Rourke 's sleazebag detective routine is as infuriating as it is entertaining, Lisa Bonet gets naked (allegedly, this is what cost her her role on the Cosby Show) and it looks really, really nice. It's one of the movies quoted by the developers as one of the artistic inspirations for the Silent Hill series. You ever wondered why there are so many random ventilators in the Silent Hill otherworld? This movie's the primary reason.

I dunno, I didn't hate it altogether, I was just kind of underwhelmed. The payoff just didn't hit right for me. It's one of those movies that just feel too deliberately constructed around their central twist. I did kinda like the final scene that was intercut with the credits but, honestly, the story just didn't work for me. There is good stuff in there, I genuinely dug the whole Southern Gothic aesthethic the latter half had going and there were some cool performances and cool visuals in it, they just don't quite manage to elevate the material.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Gladiator II

Too much like the first one: dead wife, enslaved, purchased by old gladiator trainer, showboats around the provinces, travels to Rome, fights at the Colosseum (fights animals, fights a champion, reenacts historical battles), plot to dethrone the decadent emperor thickens until it's foiled, army marches uselessly towards Rome, etc. This wouldn't be half as bad if Paul Mescal brought anything to the table as Maximus 2.0, or if the movie didn't keep inviting comparisons by constantly flashing back to the first movie like we're watching TV (and making me miss the gorgeous bleached-out photography from the early '00s instead of the dull Netflix catalogue lighting).

To be clear it was entertaining, the 2 and a half hours just breezed past, and I liked Denzel and the twin emperors. The action was generally on point, but I posit that if you cannot convincingly render a monkey in 2024 then maybe don't build your big action set-piece around fighting a whole bunch of 'em. Even the design of the thing felt more alien than historically-minded, something that would look more at home in Frank Miller's 300.

I don't think the movie gets there, emotionally. Maximus wants to avenge the death of his wife and kid. The kid is trampled as the soldiers break into their home, then the wife is raped and hung. This is home invasion/sexploitation nightmare fuel, and it motivates everything Maximus does until the story ends. Mescalus only loses a wife though, and she goes down fighting like so many other warriors during a battle that doesn't have any personal edge to it. Pascal doesn't even fire the arrow, but when Mescalus comes to he's somehow sworn personal revenge against the dude. And that sense of outrage just isn't with the audience. And without spoiling things, Mescalus' goals and motivations keep changing throughout the movie - rather unimpressively. The second half of the movie suffers a nasty case of "Oh, is this what we're doing now?".

 

[thebobmaster]

A ★★★½ review of Star Wars (1977)

"The Force will be with you, always.” Oh, boy, is this a fun production to talk about. George Lucas had been kicking around the idea of a space fantasy story for quite some time, and had originally planned to have this be an adaptation of Flash Gordon, only to discover that someone else had...

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Fair warning, this is a long review even by my standards.

 

[thebobmaster]

A ★★★★½ review of Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (2024)

“You fabulous thing. You crawled out of a pitiless grave, deeper than hell. Only one thing that is going to do that for you. Not hope. Hate. No shame in hate. It's one of the greatest forces of nature.” This film had a bit of a troubled production, as you might guess from the length of time...

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[Xprimentyl]

Hitman: Agent 47 (2015):

Universally panned, I know, but I enjoyed it. Sue me.

 

[Bedinsis]

Hitman: Agent 47 (2015):

Universally panned, I know, but I enjoyed it. Sue me.

What did you like about it?

 

[Xprimentyl]

What did you like about it?

The action mostly, blood and guts. And Rupert Friend pulled off a good cinematic hitman. Not necessarily a good "Agent 47" from the games who has so little characterization, a good Agent 47 would have been hard to do let alone enjoy.

 

[Bartholen]

Wallace and Gromit: Curse of the Were-Rabbit, 10/10

This is as good as it gets. It's a good candidate for the best animated film of the entire 2000s, and easily one of the greatest of all time. Wallace and Gromit are running an anti-rabbit pest control business, and Wallace gets it in his head that he can use "a bit of harmless brain alteration" to get rid of the problem once and for all.

It's a film where I'm just smiling from ear to ear from frame one. Every scene, every moment, every frame just oozes pure charm that we rarely get to see these days. There's a sense of texture and physicality to the handmade animation, sets and characters that CGI is still yet to replicate. The characters, the dialogue, the gags are all just pure wonder. There are tons of hilarious background gags and puns. On the technical side it's just a marvel. It's wonderfully silly while simultaneously being a genuinely well made horror homage. When it wants to go horror, it commits to the bit with proper lighting, cinematography and atmosphere. It's like a greatest hits of classic horror tropes ranging from monster movies to religious films like The Exorcist, mad science like the Fly, there's even a few slasher-esque moments. Helena Bonham Carter and Ralph Fiennes are hamming it up properly. I can think of only one minor criticism, where a story twist is introduced, and then almost immediately superseded by another twist. In a movie with otherwise pitch-perfect pacing it stands out. Beyond that there's absolutely nothing I'd change. This is up there with Spirited Away, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, and the very best of Pixar. Insanely amazing, just an absolute marvel of a film in every respect.

 

[thebobmaster]

A ★★½ review of Children of the Corn III: Urban Harvest (1995)

“Well, like my pa always said: you reap what you sow.” This film has the distinction, if you want to call it that, of being the first movie for a couple of actors who would become known for bigger things. The smaller name of those actors is Nicholas Brendon, who Buffy the Vampire Slayer fans...

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[PsychedelicDiamond]

The action mostly, blood and guts. And Rupert Friend pulled off a good cinematic hitman. Not necessarily a good "Agent 47" from the games who has so little characterization, a good Agent 47 would have been hard to do let alone enjoy.

That's one of those things that are interesting to think about. How to make a good Hitman movie that's true to the spirit of the games. Which probably isn't a great idea to begin with, with how gameplay driven they are.

I've haven't seen the 2015 movie but I have seen the 2007 one who basically tried to play it as a sleazy James Bond riff which I didn't hate but it might as well have been anything other than a Hitman movie.

If you boil it down to the bare essentials, what Hitman is about, it's about a guy going to mostly exotic locations and assassinating people in overly elaborate ways. Thing is, I think that's actually something you can work it if you really focus on the procedure of it. Go for sort of a Michael Mann, heist movie style set up with every hit as this elaborately choreographed Rube Goldberg machine, where the tension comes from unexpected or unpredictable factors rising up and threatening to disturb the plans. Again, you can work with that. Seeing plans unfold or just barely work out is as satisfying and as tense as any other type of action.

The other issue is that 47 is not exactly a very dynamic protagonist, true. He has some stuff going on with his backstory but by and large what you see is what you get. Stoic, laconic, occasionally a smooth one liner. But even compared to characters like The Driver from Driver or Bond or Leon from The Professional, there's just not much under the surface, emotionally. The emotional center would have to be something else. I don't think giving him a sidekick or anything would be a great idea. Maybe you can do something with Diana.

Plot would honestly be the easiest part. Just do what the games do, make up some generic international syndicate of evil rich people with a generic plan for world domination and have 47 assassinate them one by one. Doesn't really need to be any deeper or more complicated than that. No one would complain about a movie where, like, Silicone Valley moguls or Saudi Oil Barons or Wall Street Bankers get creatively murdered for two hours as long as those murders are creative and tense.

 

[Xprimentyl]

That's one of those things that are interesting to think about. How to make a good Hitman movie that's true to the spirit of the games. Which probably isn't a great idea to begin with, with how gameplay driven they are.

I've haven't seen the 2015 movie but I have seen the 2007 one who basically tried to play it as a sleazy James Bond riff which I didn't hate but it might as well have been anything other than a Hitman movie.

If you boil it down to the bare essentials, what Hitman is about, it's about a guy going to mostly exotic locations and assassinating people in overly elaborate ways. Thing is, I think that's actually something you can work it if you really focus on the procedure of it. Go for sort of a Michael Mann, heist movie style set up with every hit as this elaborately choreographed Rube Goldberg machine, where the tension comes from unexpected or unpredictable factors rising up and threatening to disturb the plans. Again, you can work with that. Seeing plans unfold or just barely work out is as satisfying and as tense as any other type of action.

The other issue is that 47 is not exactly a very dynamic protagonist, true. He has some stuff going on with his backstory but by and large what you see is what you get. Stoic, laconic, occasionally a smooth one liner. But even compared to characters like The Driver from Driver or Bond or Leon from The Professional, there's just not much under the surface, emotionally. The emotional center would have to be something else. I don't think giving him a sidekick or anything would be a great idea. Maybe you can do something with Diana.

Plot would honestly be the easiest part. Just do what the games do, make up some generic international syndicate of evil rich people with a generic plan for world domination and have 47 assassinate them one by one. Doesn't really need to be any deeper or more complicated than that. No one would complain about a movie where, like, Silicone Valley moguls or Saudi Oil Barons or Wall Street Bankers get creatively murdered for two hours as long as those murders are creative and tense.

Hitman 2015 pretty much eschewed the Hitman games' formula for one that's more screen-friendly-if-formulaic in that right. The only direct references to the games (outside of the overarching premise, i.e.: Agent 47 is still a genetically manufactured killing machine) might have been a couple of quick disguise changes, some elaborate homicides, and the obligatory nod to Agent 47's iconic garrote and Silverballers. There was very little stealth at all, and I'd argue that's 85-90% of the Hitman experience. No, this was a lot of guns blazing, brutal hand-to-hand combat, car chases, etc., pretty much the failure state of most missions in the games, lol.

You have some good ideas on how a true Hitman movie could be done, but the biggest issue would be putting it in the hands of people who'd take it seriously. The minute you pitch a videogame adaptation, I think most serious people leave the room while the rest stick around to phone it in for the paycheck. After that, I think you dismiss how difficult plot would be, maybe not plot so much as narrative. What would be the conflict when the expectation is that Agent 47 is unrivaled, the perfect assassin? What do you fill the gaps in between the multiple "creative and tense" murders with? Agent 47 isn't exactly ripe for a romantic interest or drama.

It almost works better as a series where each episode would akin to a single mission in the games. Not need to flesh Agent 47 out with a tight 45-minutes of a singular objective.

 

[BrawlMan]

The action mostly, blood and guts. And Rupert Friend pulled off a good cinematic hitman. Not necessarily a good "Agent 47" from the games who has so little characterization, a good Agent 47 would have been hard to do let alone enjoy.

Hitman 2015 pretty much eschewed the Hitman games' formula for one that's more screen-friendly-if-formulaic in that right. The only direct references to the games (outside of the overarching premise, i.e.: Agent 47 is still a genetically manufactured killing machine) might have been a couple of quick disguise changes, some elaborate homicides, and the obligatory nod to Agent 47's iconic garrote and Silverballers. There was very little stealth at all, and I'd argue that's 85-90% of the Hitman experience. No, this was a lot of guns blazing, brutal hand-to-hand combat, car chases, etc., pretty much the failure state of most missions in the games, lol.

That's one of those things that are interesting to think about. How to make a good Hitman movie that's true to the spirit of the games. Which probably isn't a great idea to begin with, with how gameplay driven they are.

Both Hitman movies I find entertainly average, but I actually do prefer the first movie.

I still say the Beekeeper is the best hitman movie ever made. It keeps true to the spirit of the games when you stop and think about it for a moment. Especially on the creative kills. It's either that or The Accident Man. I love that movie too, but I wouldn't call with it to the spirit of the Hitman games. AM Is already its own thing.

 

[thebobmaster]

A ★★★★★ review of Mary Poppins (1964)

“First of all, I would like to make one thing quite clear.” “Yes?” “I never explain anything.” As anyone who has seen the film "Saving Mr. Banks" is likely aware of, this film did not have the smoothest production. The author of the books the film is based on, P.L. Travers, was reluctant for the...

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[Xprimentyl]

Ghost Dog: The Way Of The Samurai: Dumb / Great

A loner lives quietly in the hood, studying the way of the Samurai. He's contracted by a member of the mob (to whom he owes a debt of life) to kill another member of their ranks. After the contract is completed, the same mob tries to kill him.

Yes, I know this film is 25 years old, and up until a couple of days ago, I'd prided myself on having avoided it all these years. Then, my girlfriend picked it for a movie night, so I sucked it up. From top to bottom, it was just really silly. The scene with the nigh 40-year-old, out-of-shape black dude swinging a samurai sword on a rooftop sealed it for me; I checked out. It was painfully slow with too many LONG montages of him stealing cars and driving around at night in between parts of substance. Then the mob guys turn nearly every scene they're in into a comedy, a jarringly stark contrast to the overtly somber and introspective tone we get in every scene Whitaker is in. Shockingly, it got largely positive reviews? Must be because of the soundtrack because it's a banger, easily the best/only redemptive part of the whole movie.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Ghost Dog: The Way Of The Samurai: Dumb / Great

A loner lives quietly in the hood, studying the way of the Samurai. He's contracted by a member of the mob (to whom he owes a debt of life) to kill another member of their ranks. After the contract is completed, the same mob tries to kill him.

Yes, I know this film is 25 years old, and up until a couple of days ago, I'd prided myself on having avoided it all these years. Then, my girlfriend picked it for a movie night, so I sucked it up. From top to bottom, it was just really silly. The scene with the nigh 40-year-old, out-of-shape black dude swinging a samurai sword on a rooftop sealed it for me; I checked out. It was painfully slow with too many LONG montages of him stealing cars and driving around at night in between parts of substance. Then the mob guys turn nearly every scene they're in into a comedy, a jarringly stark contrast to the overtly somber and introspective tone we get in every scene Whitaker is in. Shockingly, it got largely positive reviews? Must be because of the soundtrack because it's a banger, easily the best/only redemptive part of the whole movie.

 

[thebobmaster]

A ★★ review of The Dark Knight Rises (2012)

“Oh, you think darkness is your ally. But you merely adopted the dark; I was born in it, molded by it.” This film had a bit more troubled of a production than the first two films, with the primary cause being the untimely death of Heath Ledger. You see, the original plan for the third movie...

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[Gordon_4]

Iron Man (rewatch with my children) - 9/10

Probably still one of the best genre action movies and entries in the MCU even after all this time. Its fascinating to go back and see how the whole thing has changed since - for good or for ill I leave to the individual - now that Endgame has been and gone. If I had a complaint it is that Raza, played by Faran Tahir, was wasted as an eventual red herring as either the true Mandarin or at least one his agents. For such a one note guy Raza is menacing, competent and the right kind of mysterious.

However, it has given me a much deeper appreciation of one of the heroes of the 'verse who is largely unsung: both in and out.

Doctor Ho Yinsen, played by Shaun Toub.

It is he who operates on Tony, sticks the electro magnet in his chest that later becomes the arc reactor. It is he who lights a fire under Tony's arse - "Is this the last act of defiance by the great, Tony Stark?", "I'll be dead in a week" "Then I guess this is a big week for you" - that in the end sees the birth of Iron Man, of the Avengers. Toub sells the hell out of this man for his, roughly twenty-thirty minutes of screen time, and his death feels tragic and personal to us and Tony. Australian singer-songwriter duo Kev Carmody and Paul Kelly made popular in my country the phrase "From little things, big things grow"; and in the grand scheme of things, a doctor from a small country in the middle east doing meatball surgery on corporate captive of a terrorist group is little. But from him......

The greatest group of heroes a world ever knew was assembled. And a universe saved.

 

[thebobmaster]

A ★★½ review of Children of the Corn IV: The Gathering (1996)

“He’s found a child. One like himself. And when that like child takes his place, Josiah will take them all.” Don't ask Naomi Watts her thoughts on this movie. She did it for the money, and does not like to talk about it. This film follows a woman named Grace (Naomi Watts), who has returned home...

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