In this great, wide interwebs of ours, there are two types of forums. You have your specialty forums, surrounded in their arrogant armour of smug elitism, where new members must brave a horrible hazing process of incessant ridicule and flame, then you have your generic scum forums, widely known about, attracting society's waste products, in much the same way as rotting flesh tends to attract flies. Both forum types go through a similar lifecycle, of which I may delve into in a future post, but today I shall direct my ire at something that seems to affect all.
This phenomena tends to occur frequently on forums that encourage rampant post-whoring, but does crop up wherever multiple people gather to banter about pointless tripe. Only found in new threads, quite frequently alone, with an implied authoritarian tone behind it. Sometimes you'll find yourself reading through a fairly detailed post, intelligently constructed, occasionally nodding slightly in agreement or approval, then it hits you like a punch to the genitals. The word, "Discuss".
Now I'm the first to understand that every young poster dreams of his thread becoming the next great SODG, fondly remembered throughout the ages by the internet at large or just the more misanthropic segments of it, possibly with its own Wikipedia entry, or at the very least, Encyclopedia Dramatica entry. Everybody has a novel in them, but most people get writer's cramp after the first two lines, then spend 40 years working in accounting, so the idea that from one simple post, you can spur a sudden collaborative effort that creates the greatest literary works of man, appeals to the great unwashed. The scum of the internet.
If you're making a truly great thread, one that will alter the very face of the Internet itself, people will flock to it. A deep pit of quality in this seething, shallow cesspit of online offal. It draws posters to it like matter to a black hole or fanboys to obvious flamebait. It is great and attracts further greatness through the very essence of its greatness.
Sadly, so few people can even manage the great post within them, so that the vast majority will post garbage. Whether it be something already done into the ground, something based around a pointless poll or something so totally devoid of point, substance and, quite frequently, text, it offends the mind as over-applied aftershave offends the olfactory.
Great or garbage, there is no need to order people to discuss. Discussion is implied from the moment you get a glimmer of thread-posting greatness in that tiny brain of yours. The underlying principle behind a discussion forum, some might say.
If you've started a thread that concludes with an order to discuss it, stop. Read back over your post. Think to yourself, "Is there any reason why people would not discuss this post?" If so, fix them. Add more substance, more style if you like. Flesh out the argument some more, give them a little back story. Explain why you need to know whatever it is you are asking.
However, if your post consists of a subject, a poll and the word "Discuss", with nothing else whatsoever, would you kindly refrain from posting, turn off your computer, then take yourself behind the chemical sheds and eat a bullet.
This phenomena tends to occur frequently on forums that encourage rampant post-whoring, but does crop up wherever multiple people gather to banter about pointless tripe. Only found in new threads, quite frequently alone, with an implied authoritarian tone behind it. Sometimes you'll find yourself reading through a fairly detailed post, intelligently constructed, occasionally nodding slightly in agreement or approval, then it hits you like a punch to the genitals. The word, "Discuss".
Now I'm the first to understand that every young poster dreams of his thread becoming the next great SODG, fondly remembered throughout the ages by the internet at large or just the more misanthropic segments of it, possibly with its own Wikipedia entry, or at the very least, Encyclopedia Dramatica entry. Everybody has a novel in them, but most people get writer's cramp after the first two lines, then spend 40 years working in accounting, so the idea that from one simple post, you can spur a sudden collaborative effort that creates the greatest literary works of man, appeals to the great unwashed. The scum of the internet.
If you're making a truly great thread, one that will alter the very face of the Internet itself, people will flock to it. A deep pit of quality in this seething, shallow cesspit of online offal. It draws posters to it like matter to a black hole or fanboys to obvious flamebait. It is great and attracts further greatness through the very essence of its greatness.
Sadly, so few people can even manage the great post within them, so that the vast majority will post garbage. Whether it be something already done into the ground, something based around a pointless poll or something so totally devoid of point, substance and, quite frequently, text, it offends the mind as over-applied aftershave offends the olfactory.
Great or garbage, there is no need to order people to discuss. Discussion is implied from the moment you get a glimmer of thread-posting greatness in that tiny brain of yours. The underlying principle behind a discussion forum, some might say.
If you've started a thread that concludes with an order to discuss it, stop. Read back over your post. Think to yourself, "Is there any reason why people would not discuss this post?" If so, fix them. Add more substance, more style if you like. Flesh out the argument some more, give them a little back story. Explain why you need to know whatever it is you are asking.
However, if your post consists of a subject, a poll and the word "Discuss", with nothing else whatsoever, would you kindly refrain from posting, turn off your computer, then take yourself behind the chemical sheds and eat a bullet.
For those about to comment on my choice of subject line, possibly to cast it in a negative light, please re-read it aloud, in a sarcastic tone, while giving yourself the finger. That's how I intended it. But only to those discuss-posting malcontents who burn my eyes so. If you're not one of those, please disregard.