Disrespectful/Rude. HOW??

[Kriptonite]

How is it rude not to take off your hat at the dinner table. What's rude about asking a woman her age? How is it disrespectful not to treat people immediately with respect(not saying be an ass but more like neutral) until they earn it? I have asked many different people time and time again and have gotten nowhere...If anyone has any insight or other 'rude' or 'disrespectful' situations you don't understand, please share. If we work together we can work something out!

P.S. I can't wear hats(except rasta caps), I have what's considered by some to be an 'afro'. My hair does not allow hats to stay on my head.

 

[theultimateend]

How is it rude to take off your hat at the dinner table. What's rude about asking a woman her age? How is it disrespectful not to treat people immediately with respect(not saying be an ass but more like neutral) until they earn it? I have asked many different people time and time again and have gotten nowhere...If anyone has any insight or other 'rude' or 'disrespectful' situations you don't understand, please share. If we work together we can work something out!

P.S. I can't wear hats(except rasta caps), I have what's considered by some to be an 'afro'. My hair does not allow hats to stay on my head.

As I said in another thread, very few people in the world actually get easily offended. However for the folks who do get offended easily they petition very hard to become people of power so that they can impose their own irrational and childish peeves upon others. Especially in the US it is pretty easy in many states to pass just about any law you want with much of the populace disagreeing.

Look at the last presidency, something like a 20% approval rating and still was doing just about anything he wanted . Same could be said in various states.

But yeah essentially as with many other things it is a very small population of people with extreme levels of drive to make the world perfect for them and them only.

 

[Sightless Wisdom]

Well my only response there is the fact that those things are disrespectfull or rude is...well not a fact. It's an opnion, myself I don't give a damn about any of these things people don't get respect until they earn it because the majority of the world has proved it doesn't deserve my respect. Also I think you have the hat thing in reverse.

 

[TaborMallory]

"Respect" is a very mysterious topic. Hell, most schools still think it's disrespectful to wear a hat inside the building and therefore don't allow it.

Most of the respect traditions I know of go way back to the medieval days.

 

[Hexenwolf]

This is a very interesting subject and I'm glad you brought it up. Respect is entirely societal, it is wholly based on the culture you live in. What is respectful in one culture might be disrespectful in another. The easiest example would be that in most western societies burping is considered rude, yet in some arab societies, such as in the country Bahrain, it is rude not to burp, and is considered a method of showing how good the food is.

Quite frankly, the answer to your question, how is any arbitrary action considered respectful or disrespectful, is tradition. If the entire culture grows up hearing from their parents how rude it is for a man to ask a lady her age, then people will view that action as disrespectful. So, the solution is "When in Rome, do as the Romans." On a fundamental level, at least I believe, It is disrespectful to live in a place and ignore the culture. Just flow with it, otherwise you're going to take a lot of flak. It may be illogical to have to do seemingly arbitrary actions, but it is logical to take the path of least resistance in all things, including human relations.

Also, out of curiosity, when you say you have asked many people and "gotten nowhere," what do you mean by that?

And by the way, I believe you meant to say "How is it rude to not take off your hat at the dinner table."

 

[Curtmiester]

You always ask a women how YOUNG she is. As for everything else, I'm not really to sure.

 

[theultimateend]

You always ask a women how YOUNG she is. As for everything else, I'm not really to sure.

I prefer "If I was to quantify the chronology of your stay here on Earth what amount of years would I use?"

Still get just as many slaps but at least there is a delay as they compute the question .

 

[TheEndIsNear5115]

"Respect" is a very mysterious topic. Hell, most schools still think it's disrespectful to wear a hat inside the building and therefore don't allow it.

My school considers it a gang symbol, that's why they don't allow it. =X

 

[Kriptonite]

Also I think you have the hat thing in reverse.

Elaborate please.

This is a very interesting subject and I'm glad you brought it up. Respect is entirely societal, it is wholly based on the culture you live in. What is respectful in one culture might be disrespectful in another. The easiest example would be that in most western societies burping is considered rude, yet in some arab societies, such as in the country Bahrain, it is rude not to burp, and is considered a method of showing how good the food is.

Quite frankly, the answer to your question, how is any arbitrary action considered respectful or disrespectful, is tradition. If the entire culture grows up hearing from their parents how rude it is for a man to ask a lady her age, then people will view that action as disrespectful. So, the solution is "When in Rome, do as the Romans." On a fundamental level, at least I believe, It is disrespectful to live in a place and ignore the culture. Just flow with it, otherwise you're going to take a lot of flak. It may be illogical to have to do seemingly arbitrary actions, but it is logical to take the path of least resistance in all things, including human relations.

Also, out of curiosity, when you say you have asked many people and "gotten nowhere," what do you mean by that?

And by the way, I believe you meant to say "How is it rude to not take off your hat at the dinner table."

I will address the things I want to talk about in your post respectively.
1)Thank you.
2)Going with the flow is not always the best tactic. If that was the way things were blacks would still be sitting in the backs of buses.
3)People always give me "Because it is" or "I don't know, it just is". Ridiculous.
4)Yes, you are right. Thanks for alerting me, I have corrected my mistake.

 

[smokeybearsb]

If you refer to that one Cracked.com article "Embrace the Horror" I think it was called, they made the point that nothing in the universe is really good nor bad, it depends on the person. I think that works for this except instead of it being a person's opinion, it's society that says whether it's good or bad. And you damn well better obey society.
Actually, I hate customs and a lot of society's beliefs (religion and what not), so I would have to say yeah, it's pointless to have to take your hat off in a building.

 

[Halfbreed13]

You always ask a women how YOUNG she is.

And then act surprised at her answer, because surely she's ten years younger than THAT.

What if she's nine?

 

[OneBig Man]

It is always good to show people respect. First impressions can go a long way. But in return the person should show the same respect back. Also I don't there is a neuteral in respect. You can be neuteral in liking or dislinking a person, but you either respect or don't respect.

As for asking a lady their age, I'm not sure how that started.

 

[Scolar Visari]

Huh.. I always thought that the reason you removed your hat indoors was because not doing so showed you distrust the quality of their roof.

Acting neutral towards someone isn't disrespectful though. However, half assing a greeting is. I can't even count the amount of times some limp wristed shit didn't even look me in eyes or even attempt a handshake.

 

[Sightless Wisdom]

It is always good to show people respect. First impressions can go a long way. But in return the person should show the same respect back. Also I don't there is a neuteral in respect. You can be neuteral in liking or dislinking a person, but you either respect or don't respect.

As for asking a lady their age, I'm not sure how that started.

Well actually you can be neutral with respect, it's called not giving a damn.I do it all the time.

 

[brewbeard]

How is it rude not to take off your hat at the dinner table.

I'm not really sure what the deal with this is, but I think it's something to do with 'taking your hat off' as a sign of respect and a desire to maintain 'equal standing' when dining with others, which in itself ties into hospitality beliefs in Europe.

What's rude about asking a woman her age?

Women are sensitive about the subject. The bylaw is that if they don't bring it up themselves, you don't discuss it. I can't really think of any reason other than that, but then I can't really think of a situation where it's tactful to ask anyone their age.

How is it disrespectful not to treat people immediately with respect(not saying be an ass but more like neutral) until they earn it?

I'm of the opinion that you should treat people with respect unless they do something to lose that respect. Maybe I'm a bit stuffy, but I only really speak casually with people who I know or who are acquaintances of people I know. Generally speaking, if you treat someone well they are more like to react in kind, and it avoids the foible of making an ass of yourself in front of someone important.

I have asked many different people time and time again and have gotten nowhere...If anyone has any insight or other 'rude' or 'disrespectful' situations you don't understand, please share. If we work together we can work something out!

There are a lot of odd customs practiced all over the world. Generally they have links to the particular religious and societal beliefs of those locations throughout their history in varying degrees. I have this old book of etiquette that's maybe five hundred pages long, and I'd frankly be surprised if there's anyone who knows and observes all of the customs contained within it. It's more than fifty years old, though, so many of those practices would seem antiquated today.

 

[AbuFace]

If you don't show any respect in a first meeting, it comes off as condescending, as if you thought that you were a superior being and the others are not worthy of being given your respect until they explicitly earn it. I've met a few people like that in my life, and my response to them was always "Who are you to assume your respect is so highly valued, and why would I ever care about the respect of someone so pretentious?"

Edit: Being neutral and 'not giving a damn' can give off the disrespectful vibe, even if you don't intend it.

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

The knights code of chivalry. Enough said, if you dont know what that it look it up and take it to heart

 

[OneBig Man]

It is always good to show people respect. First impressions can go a long way. But in return the person should show the same respect back. Also I don't there is a neuteral in respect. You can be neuteral in liking or dislinking a person, but you either respect or don't respect.

As for asking a lady their age, I'm not sure how that started.

Well actually you can be neutral with respect, it's called not giving a damn.I do it all the time.

If you don't give a damn about a person that is kind of being disrespectful.

 

[Hazy]

From the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep, my hat remains on my head.

As it has for the past 12 years, and as it shall until the day I no longer have a head upon which it can reside.

Any time someone tells me to take my hat off, I tell them to take their shoes off. In some places it's rude to walk around with shoes caked in mud or snow or dripping wet. You could say it offends me. Oh, what's that, that's a silly thing to be offended by?

Funny.

Showering must be interesting. Or does the hat open up at the top?

 

[MrSnugglesworth]

You always ask a women how YOUNG she is.

And then act surprised at her answer, because surely she's ten years younger than THAT.

I'd say the old rules of disrespect, etc. don't really apply anymore. I can't be arsed with it, and most of my girl friends (the two-word version) would probably kick my ass if I tried to be respectful to them. Then again, they are tomboys.

Chivalry is the only respect you need to show, my good man, and tis not dead.

Same with a friend of mine. She always beats on me, trying to make me do the same to her. I just can't though. Its weird. I guess chivalry is on its deathbed, and I'm that one last guy it needs to say goodbye to.