Do you have problems letting stuff go?

[Darkwolf9]

All through my life I've had problems letting things go. I'm talking about arguments and some petty things that I think other people just get over. I compulsively have to fix a problem no matter how small it is. This is starting to carry over into my love life. I do talk to my friends about it and all they seem to do is agree with me and help blow crap out of proportion. I'm asking if there is anyone out there who has the same problem and/or can give me any advice to deal with it?

 

[Joselyn]

All through my life I've had problems letting things go. I'm talking about arguments and some petty things that I think other people just get over. I compulsively have to fix a problem no matter how small it is. This is starting to carry over into my love life. I do talk to my friends about it and all they seem to do is agree with me and help blow crap out of proportion. I'm asking if there is anyone out there who has the same problem and/or can give me any advice to deal with it?

You are not alone Darkwolf9...
I too obsess over small inconsequential crap in my life,
but it's just my nature..... You have to ask yourself...if you changed the way you are, would it make you happier or wwould that just depress you?
By the way, are you a Virgo by any chance??? xD

 

[Locust]

I'm the same. I'm offended by the smallest things, whether it be a litle snide comment or something similar, and I'll get pissy at someone over it until they make the effort to resolve it. It's not too much of an issue around friends. If your buddies aren't complete douches, they won't give you a reason to behave like that. They will however kid around with you and exploit it for jokes, but don't take it to heart.

When it gets to your love life, it can be an issue. Me and my ex would fight -constantly- because she'd say something rude, ignorant or otherwise be a ***** and I'm unable to just drop it and forget about it. If you're in a functional relationship, your girlfriend won't be saying things like that all the time to set you off. On the occasion you two do fight, just remember: There's no sides in relationships. You two are in it together and don't drag stuff out with her. If there's a problem, just avoid eachother for a while, then kiss and make up. Problem solved.

 

[Darkwolf9]

Why as a matter of fact I am a Virgo. Don't get me wrong, in some way seeing the small things and handling them can be a blessing. It's not so much that I want to stop, It's that I want to be able to cope with it and to learn how to get over some stuff in my love life.

 

[Clemenstation]

Separate your head from your mouth. You can think and overanalyze all you want, but as long as you can filter the ramblings in your head from what you actually SAY to other people, you shouldn't sabotage too much of your life.

If, on the other hand, you believe fervently in "always saying what you're thinking", usually under the guise of "being a truthful person", you are most certainly and totally screwed.

 

[Darkwolf9]

Separate your head from your mouth. You can think and overanalyze all you want, but as long as you can filter the ramblings in your head from what you actually SAY to other people, you shouldn't sabotage too much of your life.

If, on the other hand, you believe fervently in "always saying what you're thinking", usually under the guise of "being a truthful person", you are most certainly and totally screwed.

I am a truthful person, but I don't always say what comes to mind for that reason. I only tell people the blunt truth when they ask for it. Oh God do I over analyze.

 

[Trivun]

I let things go, but I have a tendency to overthink things. This isn't exactly useful when I'm auditioning for plays since I end up making a mess of things by not letting myself get too deeply into character, and watching drama (TV and film too) isn't as good because I overanalyse things. I reckon I'd make a good critic though .

 

[Dread_Reaper]

Why as a matter of fact I am a Virgo.

I suspected as such. Fellow Virgo reporting!

But my advice to you is to be logical. If you encounter an inconsequential problem that you feel obsessively compelled to fix, take a step back and think for a moment. You know that you have this problem with not being able to let things go. You know that this particular instance or problem does not warrant the attention you are giving it. You logically understand that there is no need to exert this kind of effort towards fixing it.

And then follow your logic. Analyze what you are doing and why you are doing it. Knowing those two things gives you control over how to react instead of giving your reactions control over you.

-Dread_Reaper

 

[Gooble]

I can get over things pretty quickly, unless they are a major blight. I do however hold any bad choices made by whoever against my view of them for the rest of my life.

 

[GonzoGamer]

Yes I know what that's like.
Since we're also talking about astrology: I'm a pretty stereotypical Sagittarius: I'm cool with everyone until they cross me (or just piss me off) and after that they're on my $#!+ list forever.

Some things I let go, some things I don't.
Like less than a year ago, everyone was raving about the new Suda51 game No More Heroes. I took it home and found that (while I can see where the appeal came from) it was one of the most poorly crafted games I have ever played. I will never buy a Suda51 game again. He proved that he thinks very little of his fanbase and/or his pretentiousness is only topped by a few writers at the new yorker.

 

[KeithA45]

All through my life I've had problems letting things go. I'm talking about arguments and some petty things that I think other people just get over. I compulsively have to fix a problem no matter how small it is. This is starting to carry over into my love life. I do talk to my friends about it and all they seem to do is agree with me and help blow crap out of proportion. I'm asking if there is anyone out there who has the same problem and/or can give me any advice to deal with it?

I know what you mean. It was one of the biggest problems in my previous relationship that I wanted to figure out and solve the problems between us, even if they were small, and she just wanted to let them be and for us to be pissed at each other (I swear it's true, she told me)

My best advice? I found it alot easier when I stopped caring. When the relationship went sour and I didn't care enough to solve the issues between us, she started coming to me wanting to solve them

 

[Erana]

Things are transient. The entirety of human life has existed on December 31st, at 11:59.

Of course, when I lost (for good) my security bunny as a child, I just didn't peruse being sad, since that would be a waste and it wouldn't bring my bunny back.