Do you look people in the eyes when you talk to them?

[dvd_72]

I try to at least look at the person, though I'm never sure how much eye contact is too much or too little. I remember hearing or reading somewhere that about 4 seconds at a time is "good", so if I find myself staring into someone eyes for too long I start limiting myself, glancing around or shifting my eyes away for a moment every 4 seconds.

 

[Cookiegerard]

To be honest, it is never something I think of really, if I look them in the eye, or don't, it is not something I am aware of doing. But I do feel that forcing constant eye contact does come across as just a little..weird..

 

[The Rookie Gamer]

Yes. Use I used to have trouble with it when I was younger, but now I look people firmly in the eye when I speak to them. I don't really know what else I'd look at.

 

[dvd_72]

Never really thought about it. I look people in the eye when I'm talking to them unless I'm engaged in some other activity whilst having the conversation, in which case I'll just sort of keeping shifting my gaze between the person, and the activity.

I thought this was what everybody did...

have you tried paying attention to how consistent your eye contact is? It might be that you naturally incorporate shifts in your gaze to keep it from getting too intense.

That is, of course, unless you're being intense or focused on the person and topic, in which case I would think constant eye contact wouldn't weird out .... I hesitate to use "normal", perhaps "socially competent"? Anyway, wouldn't weird out other people.

 

[the doom cannon]

I try to avoid direct eye contact whenever possible. Even when talking to someone a couple feet away, I choose a convenient location to direct my eyes, like their nose or forehead. Looking directly into someone's eyes just feels weird.

 

[NightmareExpress]

When it's important or an enjoyable topic.
Otherwise, I either look through 'em or at the task that I'm busy doing.
I think it's sort of creepy to do it regularly.

 

[trollnystan]

Yes, but not all the time as that makes both me and the person I'm talking to uncomfortable. I've trained myself to do this, just as I've trained myself to appear socially competent in other areas too.

I'm really an asocial loner who likes to avoid personal interactions with people if she can, but when people first meet me they think I'm all outgoing and socially gifted. Then they get to know me, lol =P

 

[DanielBrown]

I don't stare, but switch between eye contact and staring at whatever back and forth. Maintaining eye contact most of the time when people are talking to me. Would be rude otherwise.
Not often I come across people that actively avoid eye contact, but when I do I instantly dislike them.

 

[cswurt]

If I am talking to an attractive female, then I look into her chest.

 

[necromanzer52]

Never really thought about it. I look people in the eye when I'm talking to them unless I'm engaged in some other activity whilst having the conversation, in which case I'll just sort of keeping shifting my gaze between the person, and the activity.

I thought this was what everybody did...

have you tried paying attention to how consistent your eye contact is? It might be that you naturally incorporate shifts in your gaze to keep it from getting too intense.

That is, of course, unless you're being intense or focused on the person and topic, in which case I would think constant eye contact wouldn't weird out .... I hesitate to use "normal", perhaps "socially competent"? Anyway, wouldn't weird out other people.

No, it's never really occurred to me before. Next time I'm having a conversation I'll observe my behaviour. Although I've got a feeling that the observation itself will change the result. Bit of a catch 22 we have here.

 

[thejackyl]

It feels weird to me. I will look them in the eyes every now and then, but my eyes will usually wander around the person's face when I'm talking to them.

 

[dvd_72]

(snip)

No, it's never really occurred to me before. Next time I'm having a conversation I'll observe my behaviour. Although I've got a feeling that the observation itself will change the result. Bit of a catch 22 we have here.

Perhaps watching other people would be better then, though I guess that would mean staring. I guess there's no polite way to study someone without their consent!

 

[gmaverick019_v1legacy]

depends on the conversation and the person, if it's a friend or a casual conversation i won't hold eye contact, maybe a glance or two, i just don't care to look someone in the eyes really, could be daydreaming about other things.

however, if i am looking to intimidate or see a detailed reaction from a person when i tell them or do something, i will look them straight in the eye so hard their fuckin retinas feel it.

 

[Saladfork]

When I was a kid, and absolutely hopeless in social situations, I'd almost never make eye contact with anyone. I thought maybe if I could make it a habit of getting and keeping eye contact with people, it might help.

Perhaps it did, or perhaps the improvement in both wasunrelated, but I now look into people's eyes pretty much any time I'm talking to them or they're talking to me. I'm starting to wonder, based on the number of people here who say they feel awkward at having people look them in the eye, if I may have gone overboard, but now that I've gotten into the habit I find it very difficult not to stare people in the eye.

 

[StarsintheBlood]

I do sometimes, but it feels awkward for extended periods. Maybe it's just me, but I have a hard time looking at both eyes at once and will wind up automatically focusing on one eye or the other. It's just weird. I was in an interview once where the guy looked me straight in the eyes the whole time, and I made my contacts go blurry trying to maintain it. I started getting self-conscious about my blinking of all things. Perhaps I should just stay in my cave in the future.

 

[FolkLikePanda]

Not really, it feels awkward. I tend to look in the persons direction but to the side of their torso towards the floor but not directly looking at their body.

 

[Darken12]

I make full use of eye contact. It lets me read a person well enough to get a feel for them, it lets me pick up social cues I might otherwise miss (such as whether something is intended as a joke or not, for example), it lets people know I'm paying attention, it sends a message that I'm confrontational and unyielding if I need to be, and it overall helps me maintain people at a certain distance.

I do tend to avert eye contact every so often so as not to make people uncomfortable, and to avoid sending wrong signals to people who might interpret prolonged eye contact as attraction.

 

[Dr Jones]

I've that problem whenever a teacher lectures me, I hate it. When I say lecture I mean the teacher is speaking directly to me for an extended period of time, it's usually just:
"bla bla bla bla"
*Oh god, where should I look? I don't want to seem creepy and stare them in the eyes non-stop, but I don't want to seem rude by looking away*
"bla bla bla bla"
*Shit shit shit shit what to do what to do?*

Usually I just end up by looking them in the eye for some seconds, then pretending something caught my attention for a few seconds and then keep going on/off. With friends, though it really doesn't matter at all.

 

[Brutal Peanut]

I try my best, but it's always been difficult for me to consistently maintain eye-contact. I'll try to look elsewhere on their face - forehead and eyebrows are a good place or the hairline. I think sometimes I over-compensate when I know I haven't been looking at them and will just have a staring contest to see how long I can actually keep eye-contract and it creeps them out. Haha.

 

[soren7550]

Usually no, since I find that I have a very hard time keeping eye contact with people. Not sure why, I just find it hard.