Do you Watch Monty Python? What is your favorite skit!?

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jebussaves88

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May 4, 2008
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The Science Fiction sketch is ine of my favourites, but then I always seem to be easily amused by sped up film, especially when the subject matter of said film is people turning into Scotsmen, raising an arm, and marching into the distance.
 

NonMagicPoet

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Aug 16, 2008
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The first Spanish Inquistion one, the cheese shop one, or the serfs outside of Camelot in The Holy Grail.
 

heliosa

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Jul 24, 2008
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Lots. But the one I like the most at the moment is the sketch Where the guy tries to buy a mattresse
 

jdog345

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Jul 10, 2008
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The Spanish Inquisition and How Not To Be Seen

All of them are great though.I can't think of a bad one.
 

rawlsku

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Jan 4, 2009
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ARTHUR:
Old woman!
DENNIS:
Man!
ARTHUR:
Man. Sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there?
DENNIS:
I'm thirty-seven.
ARTHUR:
I-- what?
DENNIS:
I'm thirty-seven. I'm not old.
ARTHUR:
Well, I can't just call you 'Man'.
DENNIS:
Well, you could say 'Dennis'.
ARTHUR:
Well, I didn't know you were called 'Dennis'.
DENNIS:
Well, you didn't bother to find out, did you?
ARTHUR:
I did say 'sorry' about the 'old woman', but from the behind you looked--
DENNIS:
What I object to is that you automatically treat me like an inferior!
ARTHUR:
Well, I am King!
DENNIS:
Oh, King, eh, very nice. And how d'you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers! By 'anging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society. If there's ever going to be any progress with the--
WOMAN:
Dennis, there's some lovely filth down here. Oh! How d'you do?
ARTHUR:
How do you do, good lady? I am Arthur, King of the Britons. Who's castle is that?
WOMAN:
King of the who?
ARTHUR:
The Britons.
WOMAN:
Who are the Britons?
ARTHUR:
Well, we all are. We are all Britons, and I am your king.
WOMAN:
I didn't know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous collective.
DENNIS:
You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship: a self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes--
WOMAN:
Oh, there you go bringing class into it again.
DENNIS:
That's what it's all about. If only people would hear of--
ARTHUR:
Please! Please, good people. I am in haste. Who lives in that castle?
WOMAN:
No one lives there.
ARTHUR:
Then who is your lord?
WOMAN:
We don't have a lord.
ARTHUR:
What?
DENNIS:
I told you. We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week,...
ARTHUR:
Yes.
DENNIS:
...but all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special bi-weekly meeting...
ARTHUR:
Yes, I see.
DENNIS:
...by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs,...
ARTHUR:
Be quiet!
DENNIS:
...but by a two-thirds majority in the case of more major--
ARTHUR:
Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!
WOMAN:
Order, eh? Who does he think he is? Heh.
ARTHUR:
I am your king!
WOMAN:
Well, I didn't vote for you.
ARTHUR:
You don't vote for kings.
WOMAN:
Well, how did you become King, then?
ARTHUR:
The Lady of the Lake,...
[angels sing]
...her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur.
[singing stops]
That is why I am your king!
DENNIS:
Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
ARTHUR:
Be quiet!
DENNIS:
Well, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!
ARTHUR:
Shut up!
DENNIS:
I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!
ARTHUR:
Shut up, will you? Shut up!
DENNIS:
Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system.
ARTHUR:
Shut up!
DENNIS:
Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help! Help! I'm being repressed!
ARTHUR:
Bloody peasant!
DENNIS:
Oh, what a give-away. Did you hear that? Did you hear that, eh? That's what I'm on about. Did you see him repressing me? You saw it, didn't you?
 

Danprezco

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Jan 4, 2009
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007Loser said:
Customer: Hello I wish to register a complaint. Hello Miss?
Shop Assistant: What do you mean Miss?
Customer: Oh, I'm sorry I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint.
Shop Assistant: Sorry, we're closing for lunch.
Customer: Never mind that my lad, I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
Shop Assistant: Oh yes the Norwegian Blue - what's wrong with it?
Customer: I'll tell you what's wrong with it my lad, it's dead, that's what's wrong with it.
Shop Assistant: No, no it's resting, look.
Customer: Look my lad, I know a dead parrot when I see one and I'm looking at one right now.
Shop Assistant: No, no it's not dead it's resting...
Customer: Resting?!
Shop Assistant: Yeah, remarkable bird the Norwegian Blue, beautiful plumage innit?
Customer: The plumage don't enter into it, it's stone dead.
Shop Assistant: No no it's resting.
Customer: Alright then, if it's resting I'll wake it up. "Halloo Polly! I've got a nice cuttlefish for you when you wake up Polly parrot!
Shop Assistant: (Knocks the cage) There it moved!
Customer: No it didn't! That was you pushing the cage!
Shop Assistant: I did not!
Customer: Yes you did! Halloo Polly! Wakey wakey! (bangs it on counter) Rise and Shine! (bangs it on counter) This is your nine o'clock alarm call (throws it on the floor) now that's what I call a dead parrot.
Shop Assistant: No no it's stunned.
Customer: Stunned?
Shop Assistant: Yeah! You stunned him just as he was waking up. Norwegian Blues stun easily.
Customer: Look my lad I've had just about enough of this, that parrot is definitely deceased, and when I bought it not half an hour ago you assured me that its lack of movement was due to it being tired and shagged out after a long squawk.
Shop Assistant: It's probably pining for the fjords.
Customer: Pining for the fjords, what kind of talk is that, look why did it fall flat on its back the moment I got it home?
Shop Assistant: The Norwegian Blue prefers kipping on its back, beautiful plumage.
Customer: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot, and I discovered that the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been nailed there.
Shop Assistant: Well of course it was nailed there otherwise it would of muscled up to those bars and "voom"!
Customer: Look matey, this parrot wouldn't "voom" if I put 4,000 volts through it, its bleedin' demised.
Shop Assistant: It's not, it's pining.
Customer: It's not pining it's passed on! This parrot is no more! It has ceased to be! It's expired and gone to meet its maker! This, is a late parrot! It's a stiff! Bereft of life, it rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed it to the perch it would be pushin' up the daisies! It's rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible! "THIS IS AN EX PARROT!"
Shop Assistant: Guess I'd better replace it then (walks into store cupboard)
Customer: If you wanna get anything done in this country you gotta complain 'till you're blue in the mouth.
Shop Assistant: Sorry squire, I've had a look, we're right out of parrots.
Customer: I see, I get the picture.
Shop Assistant: I've got a slug.
Customer: Does it talk?
Shop Assistant: Not really.
Customer: Then it's scarcely a replacement then.
Shop Assistant: Look mate, I didn't wanna work in a pet shop. I wanted to be a lumberjack.
Customer: I'm sorry, this is irrelevant.

Yes! My hands down favorite!
 

WolfLordAndy

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Sep 19, 2008
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Personal favourate, as I love cheese as well.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=B3KBuQHHKx0

gotta love the cheese shop :)

But its all good. I got all 4 series of Flying Circus on Dvd this xmas :D
 

Zaleznikel

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Sep 3, 2008
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Well, my favorite not-incredibly-well-known sketch is the "Exploding Penguin" one. The gangs of old ladies was also a really good one.

Beyond that, self-defense against fresh fruit, argument, funniest joke, silly walks. There's so much good stuff!
 

Ambarato

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Jun 5, 2008
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I would of said Four Yorkshireman but that isn't actually a Monty Python sketch although they did do it at one point. Here's my top 3 (in order):
1. Biggus Dickus (Life of Brian)
2. Lumberjack Song
3. Philosopher's Song

EDIT: My bad, tired today
 

Jimmycanuck

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Jan 6, 2009
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Well, I really liked this one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=piWCBOsJr-w&feature=related

And this is the one that got me hooked on MP:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGEeLtqtNvU

But really, every skit is a masterpiece. I have yet to see anything at all that wins more than MP.
 

iseko

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Dec 4, 2008
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You can pass the bridge if you answer these question 3.

The holy grail.
 

Rajin Cajun

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Sep 12, 2008
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CrafterMan said:
Ministry of Silly Walks..

If you watch that without laughing there is something wrong with you!

xD
Agreed. Ministry of Silly Walks is awesome.
 

xxcloud417xx

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Oct 22, 2008
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Holy Grail had some amazing one-liners (hell it was all amazing)

But Skits... there are too many to choose

I would say the one with the extremely fat guy exploding
The sperm song
the penis song
and the crucifixion/song moment at the end of Life of Brian
 

FLSH_BNG

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May 27, 2008
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The art of not being seen... how to tell different types of trees from quite a long way away...
The Bishop!...

And now for something completely different...