The Science Fiction sketch is ine of my favourites, but then I always seem to be easily amused by sped up film, especially when the subject matter of said film is people turning into Scotsmen, raising an arm, and marching into the distance.
Quote for truth!The Sorrow said:Nothing can beat the Upperclass Twit of the Year sketch.
Except maybe The Funniest Joke in the World.
007Loser said:Customer: Hello I wish to register a complaint. Hello Miss?
Shop Assistant: What do you mean Miss?
Customer: Oh, I'm sorry I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint.
Shop Assistant: Sorry, we're closing for lunch.
Customer: Never mind that my lad, I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
Shop Assistant: Oh yes the Norwegian Blue - what's wrong with it?
Customer: I'll tell you what's wrong with it my lad, it's dead, that's what's wrong with it.
Shop Assistant: No, no it's resting, look.
Customer: Look my lad, I know a dead parrot when I see one and I'm looking at one right now.
Shop Assistant: No, no it's not dead it's resting...
Customer: Resting?!
Shop Assistant: Yeah, remarkable bird the Norwegian Blue, beautiful plumage innit?
Customer: The plumage don't enter into it, it's stone dead.
Shop Assistant: No no it's resting.
Customer: Alright then, if it's resting I'll wake it up. "Halloo Polly! I've got a nice cuttlefish for you when you wake up Polly parrot!
Shop Assistant: (Knocks the cage) There it moved!
Customer: No it didn't! That was you pushing the cage!
Shop Assistant: I did not!
Customer: Yes you did! Halloo Polly! Wakey wakey! (bangs it on counter) Rise and Shine! (bangs it on counter) This is your nine o'clock alarm call (throws it on the floor) now that's what I call a dead parrot.
Shop Assistant: No no it's stunned.
Customer: Stunned?
Shop Assistant: Yeah! You stunned him just as he was waking up. Norwegian Blues stun easily.
Customer: Look my lad I've had just about enough of this, that parrot is definitely deceased, and when I bought it not half an hour ago you assured me that its lack of movement was due to it being tired and shagged out after a long squawk.
Shop Assistant: It's probably pining for the fjords.
Customer: Pining for the fjords, what kind of talk is that, look why did it fall flat on its back the moment I got it home?
Shop Assistant: The Norwegian Blue prefers kipping on its back, beautiful plumage.
Customer: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot, and I discovered that the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been nailed there.
Shop Assistant: Well of course it was nailed there otherwise it would of muscled up to those bars and "voom"!
Customer: Look matey, this parrot wouldn't "voom" if I put 4,000 volts through it, its bleedin' demised.
Shop Assistant: It's not, it's pining.
Customer: It's not pining it's passed on! This parrot is no more! It has ceased to be! It's expired and gone to meet its maker! This, is a late parrot! It's a stiff! Bereft of life, it rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed it to the perch it would be pushin' up the daisies! It's rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible! "THIS IS AN EX PARROT!"
Shop Assistant: Guess I'd better replace it then (walks into store cupboard)
Customer: If you wanna get anything done in this country you gotta complain 'till you're blue in the mouth.
Shop Assistant: Sorry squire, I've had a look, we're right out of parrots.
Customer: I see, I get the picture.
Shop Assistant: I've got a slug.
Customer: Does it talk?
Shop Assistant: Not really.
Customer: Then it's scarcely a replacement then.
Shop Assistant: Look mate, I didn't wanna work in a pet shop. I wanted to be a lumberjack.
Customer: I'm sorry, this is irrelevant.
Agreed. Ministry of Silly Walks is awesome.CrafterMan said:Ministry of Silly Walks..
If you watch that without laughing there is something wrong with you!
xD