Does bullying ever go away ever?

[MorphingDragon]

Even when you're so old that you get to enjoy the benefits of an infant without the decreased brain power.

I just got demoted to a Regular engineer from Senior IT Engineer, (The official "Reason" is that they want to consolidate resources. Can't possibly afford to keep my pay check, the CEO wants some more gold teeth) and all the people I thought were at least work friends have now started treating me like utter crap. Their behaviour is all reminiscent of the crap I had to deal with during school.

I only work part time, so I'm considering just dropping my job and getting Student Assistance through the government. Or... I have very heavy legal connections. I'm at least acquaintances with all the Lawyers at a particular law firm, could always mess with the company legally if I'm feeling bored.

 

[Crazy]

There's one way to make your bully go away: Show you dominance. When in doubt, winky out!

 

[Kevon Huggins]

MESS EM UP
but rely I would look for another job one which has cake and ponies and something that pays well so i can buy pie and cheese
Well I am still in school and no matter how many times i report it i still face racism :/ so i guess not but suing them does sound fun

 

[Thaluikhain]

Nup...why do you think every society needs to develop a long list of laws to stop people dicking each other over for the hell of it?

 

[skizoman333]

tis not how one treats their equals that tells you what kind of person they are, but how how they treat those they deem lower than themselves.

in all seriousness, just leave. Theres no piont in staying somewhere where they dont care about you

 

[MorphingDragon]

When in doubt, winky out!

Uh....

I don't even...

 

[VoidWanderer]

IMO, the fact you work part-time makes (to the full-timers) you seem more like a guest than an actual employee. With what I presume to be verbal bullying, I find ignoring it to be fairly effective.

If they are blatantly attacking your lifestyle/ethnicity/size/gender or whatever look into the companies rules for harassment. Other than that, look for another job.

 

[Smooth Operator]

It doesn't stop until you show you can fight back, people simply find a quick morale boost by picking on those they can, show them you aren't one of them and it should stop.

And if it doesn't do not by any means wait for them in a dark alley with a mask and a baseball bat, that would be terrible...

 

[UltraXan]

If there's a strong legal case, then go for it! Fight for what yours!

 

[Sonicron]

Regarding your current situation, get a new job.

As for bullying in general, in my experience it doesn't go away, you have to make it go away. For me, physically and mentally toughening up did the trick; people tend to not give you as much shit when you look like you could fold them down to the size of an envelope, and donning an armour of playful cynicism very much improved my outlook on life.

 

[MorphingDragon]

If there's a strong legal case, then go for it! Fight for what yours!

Technically the Demotion was Illegal in NZ. That's always one route.

 

[keideki]

Bullying wont stop until you work toward putting a stop to it yourself. People think if you ignore it, it will go away. No. You need to kindly, but firmly, explain to these people that you will brook no such nonsense from them. Worked for me.

 

[Aurgelmir]

Bullys never go away, there will always be those that have the need to be better than everyone else, and satisfy this need by pushing other people down.

 

[Indeterminacy]

I just got demoted to a Regular engineer from Senior IT Engineer, (The official "Reason" is that they want to consolidate resources. Can't possibly afford to keep my pay check, the CEO wants some more gold teeth) and all the people I thought were at least work friends have now started treating me like utter crap...

I can't possibly pass judgement on your colleagues without knowing why you, as opposed to other people, were demoted. Maybe your demotion was entirely justified. If someone I'd previously been work-friends with was demoted because they persistently did the minimum required work and this caused very visible and harmful consequences, I'd reassess my view of them too.

It's also entirely possible that people had a broadly hierarchical view of you as a senior, and this now impacts their perspective of you as a colleague (since you're technically their junior as the most recent engineer). "Bullying" implies that any lack of deference, trust or empathy with you is done because they don't like you; maybe it's just that your working relationship is difficult for people to deal with given your history.

 

[JoJo]

There's one way to make your bully go away: Show you dominance. When in doubt, winky out!

That fits so well with your user-name ;-)

OT: I've never experienced any at university but I guess there must be some somewhere, less though than at school I'd guess. Most people grow out of bullying, a few don't.

 

[Bealzibob]

I havn't experienced bullying since grade 8 and i'm now grade 12. In fact my school is void of bullying from my perspective anyway. I think it's still everpresent in the junior years.

 

[goldendriger]

Shoryuken>Bullies. GG.
Introduce them to your fist and they'll soon stop.
Also screw violence in the workplace.

 

[GigaHz]

I only work part time, so I'm considering just dropping my job and getting Student Assistance through the government. Or... I have very heavy legal connections. I'm at least acquaintances with all the Lawyers at a particular law firm, could always mess with the company legally if I'm feeling bored.

Don't you find it a little bit ironic that you'd resort to lawyers (the closest thing in the world to a professional bully) for your own personal benefit?

My recommendation, look for another job while dealing with the crap in your current job. Chances are it's the best paying job you'll be able to find for the next few months and throwing it away for government assistance is a terrible idea. You have bullshit in your job? Welcome to life. Deal with it.

Bullies disappear if you change your attitude and mentality. The ones I've met haven't been intimidating, or powerful, and reminding them that they have no influence in my life hits them hard psychologically. The moment Bullies feel inferior they back off, whether or not that inferiority is grounded in reality. It's as simple as holding yourself in high regard, without becoming arrogant.

In your case, I don't see where the bully is. You got demoted so your company can afford to keep you on. I don't believe that your boss would dick you around for the sake of maintaining his salary. That's not how businesses operate, at least the ethical ones. If things got to that point, they have probably begun to take a hit financially themselves. With the poor state of the current economy I would not be surprised.

There's also no conceivable reason for your co-workers to go turn-coat on you unless you lorded around your status as a Senior Engineer. If you have become their equal, there is no reason to resent you unless they never liked you in the first place.

 

[tharglet]

If you're getting demoted as the execs want more money, I say faster you get out of the company, the better. Doesn't sound a sensible place to stay, and it's not uncommon for people in IT to get their promotions via moving jobs.

If people are picking on you, there's generally a reason why. Knowing WHY they are picking on you can lead you to helping your way out of it.

Ofc, there's the universal "ignore the shit out of it" way that usually works. Not taking any crap (but being as gracious as possible about it) tends to get people to leave you alone.

 

[Jimmy T. Malice]

They say bullying happens because some children are just horrible. Well, adults are worse.