Does this happen to anyone else

[soh45400]

I am not a very social person and I probably spend too much time on the internet, tv/movies and games. Usually I don't see a problem with it because I generally don't like to talk to people unless it is about work or some shared interest in the above 3 things.

But due to the very large number of times I have watched or read about men be the villain, the stalker, the rapist and generally bad in those 3 mediums, I try to distance myself from it by not talking to women.

I used to think I could still ask for help if needed but I think I can't.
i)I missed one lab and the lab instructor happens to be a woman and I have to think several times over before I go to her office and ask her how to complete the tasks.
ii)In one subject I got very high marks when the teacher was male and I could easily go to his office whenever I needed help. In the subject that is linked to it the teacher is female and I couldn't bring myself to ask for help and had to repeat the subject only to end up with another female teacher in the same subject.
iii)I missed a class due to a clash with another subject but I could take the class with another section but the teacher was late and the only classmate I could find to ask weather or not the teacher took my section's class was a girl so I didn't ask and had to look elsewhere in the university to find a guy to ask if he took the class and I am not even sure if the guy I asked was taking that subject, I only knew he was in my section. Why didn't I use the phone? because I don't talk to guys too often either for fear that they might look at me as the annoying friend you can't get rid of.

And every time I see men insulted and painted as the bad guys my confidence sinks lower and my vigilance to avoid looking like that guy increases as I try not to talk to anyone. I try to avoid those kind of shows or articles or threads but they have a tendency to sneak up on me when surfing my preferred mediums. If you see my post history you would see I speak against male-bashing a lot, this is the reason for that.

I know it is my fault, but I don't know how to fix this.

 

[Folji]

You can start by not thinking of yourself as a potential nuisance to others! C'mon, that kind of attitude isn't gonna get you anywhere, other than as far away from other people as possible. What are ya afraid of, exactly? Because to me it sounds like you've gotten yourself hooked onto the whole "male villain, female victim" idea so much you're avoiding women so that they won't have to worry about you being a potential stalker or rapist... which they're only gonna do if they're kooky-pants paranoid crazy. ._.

 

[StBishop]

Firstly, yes.

You are never the only one. Ever.

Welcome to the Internet where no one is a special snowflake.

Secondly, you should probably edit the post, it's really difficult to read. The sentences run into each other and there's only like 3 line breaks.

I'll try to re-read the post until I understand it but at present I can't offer much advice.

Lastly, this should be in the advice forum.

EDIT:

Ok, after a little time I think I understand what you're talking about asking.

Firstly, stop thinking that you suck, or annoy people, or that people don't/won't like you. Thinking that way won't fix your problem and is probably a large contributing factor.

While not everyone will like you (no one is liked by everyone on the planet) some of them will, but you'll never learn who fits into which category until to just interact with them.

Next, your tutors and lecturers. They're there to help you, it's literally their job, don't worry about annoying them (they'll tell you if you do) you're supposed to ask questions. Emailing them is always an option if you think it'll be easier, just take the time to write out what you want to know. Read it again to make sure it's polite, not too long, and covers all of your questions before sending it.

Further, you're not a character in a film/book/story/game, so stop projecting yourself onto those characters. There are horrible people in the world who do messed up stuff. But you're not one of them (probably, I'm assuming you've not killed/raped/stalked anyone), so stop stressing about it.

You should try getting out more if you're concerned about it, put your comics on a tablet/laptop and go read them in a park or something. Go talk to old people at old folks homes, just talk to people who want to chat and do it face to face. You'll get use to talking to women eventually.

I hope I've not misinterpreted your post or missed anything.

 

[SonicWaffle]

That's...pretty weird, man. I don't talk to women because I'm A) shy and B) boring, not because I worry they'll think I'm going to rape them.

How on earth can you manage to avoid any media in which men are the bad guys when they make up (give or take) 50% of the species? In fact, how can you expect them not to be used as either hero or villain when there are so few options available? If you're going to have people in your stories, some of those people are going to be men.

 

[Vault101]

snip.

thats...pretty odd, the "man being villan thing" is aslo due to men having more presance in all roles in general fiction, not because they are evil

I think you need to relax and not over think it..you have every right to talk to somone regardless if they are a woman or not

besides women also have a sterotype of being "bitches" to eacher other (and everyone else)

 

[soh45400]

Firstly, yes.

You are never the only one. Ever.

Welcome to the Internet where no one is a special snowflake.

Secondly, you should probably edit the post, it's really difficult to read. The sentences run into each other and there's only like 3 line breaks.

I'll try to re-read the post until I understand it but at present I can't offer much advice.

Lastly, this should be in the advice forum.

EDIT:

Ok, after a little time I think I understand what you're talking about asking.

Firstly, stop thinking that you suck, or annoy people, or that people don't/won't like you. Thinking that way won't fix your problem and is probably a large contributing factor.

While not everyone will like you (no one is liked by everyone on the planet) some of them will, but you'll never learn who fits into which category until to just interact with them.

Next, your tutors and lecturers. They're there to help you, it's literally their job, don't worry about annoying them (they'll tell you if you do) you're supposed to ask questions. Emailing them is always an option if you think it'll be easier, just take the time to write out what you want to know. Read it again to make sure it's polite, not too long, and covers all of your questions before sending it.

Further, you're not a character in a film/book/story/game, so stop projecting yourself onto those characters. There are horrible people in the world who do messed up stuff. But you're not one of them (probably, I'm assuming you've not killed/raped/stalked anyone), so stop stressing about it.

You should try getting out more if you're concerned about it, put your comics on a tablet/laptop and go read them in a park or something. Go talk to old people at old folks homes, just talk to people who want to chat and do it face to face. You'll get use to talking to women eventually.

I hope I've not misinterpreted your post or missed anything.

I reedited my post. I don't know how to send this to the advice forum.
About tutors, here is an annoying thing about my university. The male teacher I was talking about earlier, his office door as well as that of most other male teachers is usually unlocked if they are in the room. Not for female teachers.
So I have to knock and wait for a long time before anyone answers. Some of them wear burkas so sometimes I have to think weather the teacher I am who answered the door is the one teaching my class.
And not all teachers reply to email. I tried it once, he didn't understand the problem in my C code then talked about a syntax error in the code in class, while I was asking about another error.(I still got full marks in his subject because I knew a lot of it beforehand as I was repeating it after being taught by a female PHD teacher (who failed half the class) before).

 

[soh45400]

You can start by not thinking of yourself as a potential nuisance to others! C'mon, that kind of attitude isn't gonna get you anywhere, other than as far away from other people as possible. What are ya afraid of, exactly? Because to me it sounds like you've gotten yourself hooked onto the whole "male villain, female victim" idea so much you're avoiding women so that they won't have to worry about you being a potential stalker or rapist... which they're only gonna do if they're kooky-pants paranoid crazy. ._.

This is the logical conclusion of the 'male villain/female victim' thing. I hope Hollywood is happy.
I can't be the annoying and I can't be the oppressor if I don't talk to anyone.

 

[Folji]

This is the logical conclusion of the 'male villain/female victim' thing. I hope Hollywood is happy.

Probably about as a happy bunch of buggers as they can be! Why would you want to take that kind of mentality and apply it to the real world, though? It's obviously just stirring up problems that don't need to be there.