Dolphin Translation Machine Coming Soon

[vid87]

Awesome, now I can talk to dolphins! I hope they like talking about ponies.

Dolphin: "What the f**k is a poe-knee?"

 

[Dirkie]

Make sure it does translations from welsh too.
(Can't find the video at the moment, but Smith and Jones did a sketch years ago as whale researchers and recorded the whale songs. "How are you?" "I'm fine, i'm swimming today, and you?" "I also have been swimming today." and they don't talk about anything else. And worst of all, dolphins speak welsh...)

 

[Saviordd1]

Colour me amazed and interested, would love to hear more

 

[TheIronRuler]

Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy reference!
I'm bloody hooked on this site now.

 

[Sonicron]

One mistake. Just one mistake in the translation software, and we might end up starting a fight with the entire range of marine fauna.

How exactly do we respond when they ask us about what's up with canned "tuna fish"?

 

[Busdriver580]

Wasn't this the plot of an old Scooby Doo episode?

 

[Tharwen]

What a waste of time. Everyone knows dolphins communicate by leaving perfectly polished fish bowls lying around people's houses with cryptic writing in them!

 

[wammnebu]

as long as they dont accidentally train them to kill the President of the United States

 

[Owlslayer]

Oohh, communicating with animals, cool!
Even though it might have no greater purpose, it'd still damn cool in my opinion to be able to "talk" with dolphins.I'd like to have a gander at that.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

It's interesting research, but i fail to see the...Porpoise >_>

Oh bravo sir.

Shouldn't they use a tuna to get the right pitch as well?

 

[Shycte]

I guess they would complaing about having their children killed and them being stuck in dolphinariums.

 

[ryo02]

First thing that comes to mind: if research in this field demonstrates that dolphins are sentient, will the Japanese dolphin meat industry be guilty of genocide? Almost certainly yes, I would think,though I imagine the laws on such things don't cover interspecies offences.

yeah and then prove it with whales too ... researching them my ass

 

[Kinokohatake]

Oooh can we get the voices to come out like Sean Connery or Samuel L Jackson. That would be FANTASTIC. "FOOL. GIVE ME SOME DAMN FISH! YEAH YOU, YOU DRY CREATURE YOU!"

 

[ascorbius]

They're going to run the translator and get something like this

 

[Saulkar]

The first interspecies communication between humans and dolphins will probably something like this

Spoiler: You know the one

Ninja'd, really, really, hard.

 

[KiraTaureLor]

Am I the only one who seems to know that animals, including dolphins don't have the brain configuration to carry out Complex yet mundane conversations beyond basic needs of food, shelter, and reproduction?!?!


So this is what we have been wasting our time on? we're teaching dolphins human qualities? Isn't that a bad thing?

 

[Saulkar]

Somebody better fund this research so that we can do this to other animals. I've always wanted to talk to a wolf.

I'm sure their culture would be cool to understand.

Wolves lack sapience so meh, it would not work.

 

[universaltraveller]

The first interspecies communication between humans and dolphins will probably something like this

Spoiler: You know the one

Ninja'd, really, really, hard.

Yeah same here, it was the first thing that popped into my head when I saw 'Dolphin Translation...'

Also;

They're going to run the translator and get something like this

This is, by far, the best thread on this site, Hitchhikers guide and Red Dwarf in one place, it couldn't get better than this.

 

[Ghengis John]

NO! Don't do it! All they'll have to do is talk with us for five minutes and then suddenly, before you know it dolphins everywhere will know just how stupid we really are.

God help us if they catch wind of Jersey Shore. Those dolphin sea rescues will dry up faster than a puddle in the sun, as they watch us with pity and disdain.

Recently however, Herzing has joined forces with Thad Starner, an artificial intelligence researcher at the Georgia Institute of Technology,

This man's name ensures that this experiment can logically only end with him gaining all the fantastic powers of the dolphin. His status as a scientist only seals the deal.