Dolphins Enjoy Getting High on Puffer Fish Nerve Toxins

Imperioratorex Caprae

Henchgoat Emperor
May 15, 2010
CrazyGirl17 said:
...Are we sure humans didn't evolve from dolphins instead of apes? Kidding, kidding. But seriously, the learn I more about dolphins, the more I realize they're not so friendly as people like to say they are...
Depends on how much contact with people they have too, and if you happen to come upon them in the midst of their orgy season. Back home, in Key Largo, about a half-mile off my family dock there was a pod of Dolphins that I'd regularly swim with after kayaking out there. It got to a point where if I didn't get out of the kayak (that trip btw wasn't solely to swim with them, but to go to an island about a mile out) they'd bump the kayak til I did. They knew me, and got all sorts of pissed if I didn't acknowledge them. I never was attacked though, and they were very friendly even towing me from time to time (grab on to the dorsal fin and hang the fuck on, hold breath, what a rush....)
But I did know about when mating season was and stayed the hell out of that area during so.
Now you want the scariest sea-life that I know of? Fucking barracudas. These masses of scale and tooth (seriously look up what a barracuda looks like) are the bipolar assholes of the sea. There's no warning if they're going to attack, nothing. They just either decide to bite the shit out of you or not. A friend and I went diving out on a reef once and we didn't tie off on the buoy properly (I'm not sure which one of us did that part) and when we surfaced we noticed the boat about 500 yards out in OPEN OCEAN. Yeah, open ocean is probably the scariest shit because the bottom drops out so far you can't see it, and even on good visibility days you can't see shit past maybe 30 feet AROUND you. Imagine being in a big greenish blue fog... and you have to swim 500 yards or so out to your boat in that hoping that the kraken or something doesn't decide to become reality and eat you.
Well nevermind that, I found a new terror that day. A school of barracuda. In open ocean, a school of fish is like massive. Packed together, and headed our way we realized we were going to have to power through it and hope they didn't decide to have lunch. So here we are swimming along arms tight at our sides (like mine was pressed to my ribs and hands on thighs, I think I left imprint-bruises) through a sea-within-the-sea of barracuda and these monsters are basically bumping into us at high speed. Like torpedoes with teeth. And they're not small either, when I say torpedoes I'm not being grandiose. Lucky us they didn't really notice our existence (as evidenced by how many times I got smashed in the face, shoulder, torso, etc. by big teeth-ridden fish) and moved on. We finally made it to the boat, tired and scared shitless and giggling with insane fear. I don't recommend drinking and boating but we did crack a beer soon as we policed our gear and toasted our relative intact flesh and good health.
Suffice to say if I ever do go diving at a reef I ensure our boat is tied the fuck up, and double-check all knots. And am scared to death of barracuda. Sharks ain't got nothing on those bastards.

Anyway sorry for the long post but damn I had to share that when speaking of weird ass animals.


New member
Jun 14, 2011
I thought it was common knowledge that most animal species got drunk/high whenever they had the opportunity.


New member
Feb 24, 2011
Fiz_The_Toaster said:
And Flipper suddenly isn't so whimsical anymore.
Damn, I was trying to find the full clip of "Night of the Dolphin" from The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror XI but they are all incomplete and very shitty quality. :(

The jist of it is...
And that aint even when they attack the town or defeat Springfield's counter attack. All of the Springfield residents were forced to live in the sea. It was a fucking awesome short, but now I wonder if it wasn't more than a little prophetic...


Robots will replace your job
May 28, 2011
There more i read about dophins the more i think they are actually human teenagers abducted and experimented on by aliens then dropped back down (to explain them looking like dolphins and not human).