Don't drop the soap
- Thread starter rancher of monsters
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Pass all the jail time with musical segway/montage of me not taking it in the ass to the tune of don't stop believin.
either make a shank, tell him I got AIDS, or act like an utter fucking nut while Im around him.....or for the entire duration of my sentence......you don't go to the slammer to make friends(maybe get on the good side of a powerful Gang, but don't join)
I dont know martial arts... but if the guy was two feet taller than me he could probably get out of jail by bail because he would be 8' 5'' and the tallest man in the world and be receiving money for that. Besides if he gets close, i have to say is jugular looks mighty tasty. Nom Nom Nom. Hey im already in prison lets see if i can get into the asylum.
Throw the soap behind him and tell him to pick it up... *****.
Should he refuse, I come up real close to him, softly caress his cheek then knee him real hard in the balls. If, as I hoped, he drops to his knees or hunches over, I then use the palm of my hand to punch him in the throat (forcefully but not full force).
If either of us left a sock lying around, I'd use it along with the soap to pummel him repeatedly until he is either unconscious or begs for mercy.
If anyone asks, he slipped.
Should he refuse, I come up real close to him, softly caress his cheek then knee him real hard in the balls. If, as I hoped, he drops to his knees or hunches over, I then use the palm of my hand to punch him in the throat (forcefully but not full force).
If either of us left a sock lying around, I'd use it along with the soap to pummel him repeatedly until he is either unconscious or begs for mercy.
If anyone asks, he slipped.
Well, actually, he would be trying to stab you...with his meat shank...in your pooper...danpascooch said:
*shivers
Women get raped in prison too? I don't see the practicality of that. How would Barda, er, get off, so to speak?
So... wait? This guy smashed someones head in that very morning? In that case, not worry as he is clearly going to be in some kind of hotbox or "the hole" or whatever cliched name for that place you put especially naughty criminals and go about my showering in relative peace.
Failing that, put some soap bubbles around my mouth screaming incoherently about aliens and how they gave me full blown AIDs... the insanity, possible rabies and AIDs combo should keep people nice and distant. Works outside of prison.
Failing that, put some soap bubbles around my mouth screaming incoherently about aliens and how they gave me full blown AIDs... the insanity, possible rabies and AIDs combo should keep people nice and distant. Works outside of prison.
I would get down on my knees and suck it, I would plead to Bubba, anything but ass stuff.
I get squeemish just thinking about anything happening to my bung hole.
So to avoid any ass rape, and probably because being someone's ***** is the only way I'd survive in prison, I'd do just about anything else.
I get squeemish just thinking about anything happening to my bung hole.
So to avoid any ass rape, and probably because being someone's ***** is the only way I'd survive in prison, I'd do just about anything else.
I would fight him. If I win, no one would mess with me anymore because I would be known as the crazy guy who beat up Bubba. If I lose, he kills me, then it's all over. It's a win either way.
Shit myself.
This can either deter him or spur him on more. I would hope for the former, but if it is the latter I guess I could get on my knees like I am about to suck him off and then thump him in the junk until he passes out.
Of course, then I would have to disable his weapon, because otherwise I would have a lot of revenge raping in my future. I am not sure how firmly attached a man's genitals are, but if tearing didn't quite do the job, I could probably crush them underfoot.
This is all assuming he is not part of some sort of gang, however. Which he most likely would be. It might be a better idea to simply assure him that I am quite aware I am his ***** and that he does not need to demonstrate this to me. And then lube up with the dropped soap for when he inevitably rapes me anyway.
Wow this is a fucking stupid thread.
This can either deter him or spur him on more. I would hope for the former, but if it is the latter I guess I could get on my knees like I am about to suck him off and then thump him in the junk until he passes out.
Of course, then I would have to disable his weapon, because otherwise I would have a lot of revenge raping in my future. I am not sure how firmly attached a man's genitals are, but if tearing didn't quite do the job, I could probably crush them underfoot.
This is all assuming he is not part of some sort of gang, however. Which he most likely would be. It might be a better idea to simply assure him that I am quite aware I am his ***** and that he does not need to demonstrate this to me. And then lube up with the dropped soap for when he inevitably rapes me anyway.
Wow this is a fucking stupid thread.
Ahhhh so we're the cream of the ass rape crop. So my orignial plan stands. Distract and find a bigger straighter guy and make friends with himMcupobob said:Where all in because of white collar crimes, tax evasion and what not. Sounds good?Icarion said:ROFL. One of the best resonses on this thread.steevee said:
OToint out how much hotter the guy across the room is and then go find someone bigger to protect me. Oh yeah why are we in jail? If its child molestation then our collective ass will be so fucked we'll need a new one. But if we're in for murder, not many people will want to try their luck. (I read a book on prison once)
Pretty simple: I'd attack him until I'm either completely incapacitated or he's unconscious.
Though I'll have to say, finding someone 2 feet taller than me would be rather unnerving all things considered. I'm 6'8" and built like a brick shithouse, so actually finding someone bigger than me would be... upsetting.
Though I'll have to say, finding someone 2 feet taller than me would be rather unnerving all things considered. I'm 6'8" and built like a brick shithouse, so actually finding someone bigger than me would be... upsetting.
