Dr. Evil's Laser Shark Plan Finally Comes to Fruition
- Thread starter John Funk
- Start date
OK Mr Scientistman, what you need to do bolt these lasers to Sharks with an intuitive "fin" based interface for them to operate as sole (hyuk hyuk!) assassins, but the contingency plan is to shape the lasers into the shape of penguins, so if a Shark uprising does happen then they'll eat each other thinking they are tasty tasty penguins.
Yeah that's right, I capitalised Sharks but not penguins, penguins are screwed.
(To the tune of the Spiderman cartoon theme)
Laser shark, laser shark, oh god, run, it's a laser shark!
Laser shark, laser shark, oh god, run, it's a laser shark!
This just in! In response to the laser shark epidemic that is rampaging across the world's oceans, killing divers and loads of fish alike, scientists from around the globe have teamed up to teach lions how to drive jet skiis and use machine guns. The machine guns will be mounted to the tails of the animals in order to leave their razor sharp claws and deadly teeth free. When asked about the public concern about lions using machine guns on people, lead scientist Ima Nideeot casually replied, "Eh. It's not like they're that much MORE dangerous now. Lions are very peaceful creatures, and if we thought they could use guns on people, we wouldn't do this." More at 11:00....
Oh God that made my ribs hurt from laughter.crazyarms33 said:
Best thing I've read all day.
'claps'
OT: The way the news portrayed it, it was some dude doing it for the hell of it. It makes me feel just a bit less awkward that there were actual reasons behind this other than pure fun.
Still awesome. I'm pretty sure that beats the hell out of anything anyone else did that day.
With this guy cautioning us that the lasers are harmless, I have to wonder if this means there was any potential for lasers to be mounted on sharks that would actually be viable as weapons....
I'd imagine not, but simply him having to clarify it makes me wonder.
That said, it would be cool if some mad scientist did start arming animals. I remember the old "Gammarauders" game and things like that. It would be terrifying, but awesome at the same time.
Laser Sharks would also give the Navy the reason to develop the Sharktapus as a countermeasure.
I'd imagine not, but simply him having to clarify it makes me wonder.
That said, it would be cool if some mad scientist did start arming animals. I remember the old "Gammarauders" game and things like that. It would be terrifying, but awesome at the same time.
Laser Sharks would also give the Navy the reason to develop the Sharktapus as a countermeasure.
Be glad! These jerks would probably give jetpacks to the sharks.TurtleCannon said:
Sharks with lasers AND jetpacks... the horror....
"causing unnecessary stress on the animal".
Shows what you know! Look at the smile on his face! Hes not stressed, hes elated! "Hey guys! I haz lazorz!" And why wouldnt he be stoked? Hes the first shark in history to be given a potentially dangerous weapon to use as he sees fit! (Stare into long enough and you might go blind!)
And he did prove sharks are drawn to lasers! That could have many a divers life. What if sharks started using these to organize raids on port towns and to take do container ships of packaged food at sea? I say we give this man a Medal, and fund his next research project without question.
Shows what you know! Look at the smile on his face! Hes not stressed, hes elated! "Hey guys! I haz lazorz!" And why wouldnt he be stoked? Hes the first shark in history to be given a potentially dangerous weapon to use as he sees fit! (Stare into long enough and you might go blind!)
And he did prove sharks are drawn to lasers! That could have many a divers life. What if sharks started using these to organize raids on port towns and to take do container ships of packaged food at sea? I say we give this man a Medal, and fund his next research project without question.
How about mounting mini-guns on elephants?
Could the clamp do that or is further research necessary?
Could the clamp do that or is further research necessary?
