Dr.susse reviews a close friend for his light hearted Gone Gonzo post review (A feat that is now not an achievement anymore)
BEER.
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed - Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, 'It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.
Jack Handy
Yes the pale ale, the process of fermenting starch, hops and yeast. The ....... drink with....... support groups.
Beer is the drink that makes you love, hate, dance, cry, laugh, think you are stronger than you are, kiss strange maybe not one hundred per cent women types and the thing that makes you stumble home with a shoe missing where you vomit in a nearby pot plant on your way up stairs to collapse into bed realizing the next day this is not you house and the frightened family down stairs wants to who you are and why you are in their kitchen.
It should probably be said that,
WARNING THIS PRODUCT CONTAINS ALCOHOL AND SHOULD NOT BE CONSUMED BEFORE DRIVING AND OR DANCING
I started drinking beer when some very kind parents said why not give him a small taste? And my reaction to this my first sip of sin you ask? Well it was to recoil in distaste and resulted in a humorous (from my parents point of view) attempt get my taste buds as far from my mouth as possible. Sadly my hyper sensitive 8-year old taste buds were not ready for the concept of beer O clock and it was a few more years till I could embark on every beer drinkers ultimate quest to shut down their liver or enjoy the revelation of a chunder down under.
Scans forward ten years and I have now a basic grasp of some of the drinking do and do not, such as-
-Do not try the mates warm English beer without a label (It is probably not what you think it is.)
-Do not wash dry mouth out with a pale beer the next morning.
-Do mix beer with Fruit loops thus creating beerial
Now as a medical professional (With a PhD in furniture sales) I can fully and incorrectly say that this drink of miracles can not only make your singing better and make everyone else in the pub want to hear you sing twice as loud but it also (being a depressant) can cure the blues.
Yes the drink that predates most intelligent thought and has been successfully killing that very thing ever since is from this imaginary doctors point of view, a very good drink! Give a drunk a beer, a beard and a crowd he becomes a philosopher, give two strangers some of the drink and you have two new friends or a bar fight. It helps you form opinions on things you have never heard of before; it makes sport better and also makes books more intense. Who else here has been reading Lovecraft while tipsy and the different squiggly lines begin to dance about like a Zumba fitness DVD.
You know now that beer is good but there are a lot of different types out there. Which one should you drink? Since all of them is not an affordable or livable through-able answer here is a few different examples.
Fosters.
Do not be confused rest of the world! Fosters is not Australias beer of choice. Paul Hogan has lied to you. In fact a large percentage of Australia hates the drink and refers to it as something that will get me banned for it posting here.
Think of Fosters as a holiday attraction. The locals advertise and sell this spot so that the tourists stay away from the good spots, in doing so not spoiling the good stuff. So Fosters is the beer Australia sells to the world as we laugh hiding our good beer under our Akubras and in our kangaroos pouches as we then hop to work on Skippys back. (You have not seen a car accident until you have seen a multi kangaroo crash on a four lane highway.)
V.B or XXXX
Some might not like me saying these two are the same but they are both the cheap, not amazing but not too bad tasting, drinking mans beer. I enjoy A long neck of V.B as I do XXXX just remember Queensland and Victoria. N.S.W is the best state and Tooheys is a better beer!
Tooheys old
Australia has some strange beer names but at least a certain Sydney suburb has not built a brewery yet (Woolloomooloo, I did not make this name up) on to the beer.
A very nice stout beer, meaning that it is thick and fills you stomach when drinking for a long period of time. This beer also has the nice mild after taste of honey and happiness. I swear when this is being poured for you it comes out of the tap as a rainbow and
Budweiser
America, home of the free. I have a friend who quite likes Budweiser, we do not let him talk much, and he ensures me that it is a smooth refreshing beer. Maybe refreshing was not a good word to describe the beer my friend because to me it is water that you can get drunk off. Sure it does not taste horrible but what is the point?
To the Irish beer
Guinness
There is now a mark on my monitor because when seeing this heavenly pint I reached for it on reflex. I feel speaking any more about this beer would be redundant because I can assure you it is my favorite beer and trashing my credibility completely I even drink it from a can.
Heineken
The European beer. Everyone seems to know of this world beer and It being like most majorly mass produced things tastes like mass production. Good on Heineken for becoming the third largest brewer in the world with their no after taste beer but I shant tell you to drink or not to drink it. It is your choice.
Sheep Shaggers
No this is not a beer from New Zeland it is from Scotland and like its name it is a funny beer. I had a big night on sheep shaggers and for the next week I could only taste the very drinkable but flavorful beer. I recommend it but do not drink more than ten in a night unless you really like the taste.
So that is it a Dr.susse beer review. If you choose to comment do not feel like you have to be kind I am a big boy now you wont hurt my feelings, in fact be ruthless, list a bunch of things you would rather do than read another poorly thought out sentence of someone you will probably never meet. In summary thanks for reading.
"May your glass be ever full. May the roof over your head be always strong. And may you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead."
Old Irish Toast
BEER.
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed - Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, 'It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.
Jack Handy
Yes the pale ale, the process of fermenting starch, hops and yeast. The ....... drink with....... support groups.
Beer is the drink that makes you love, hate, dance, cry, laugh, think you are stronger than you are, kiss strange maybe not one hundred per cent women types and the thing that makes you stumble home with a shoe missing where you vomit in a nearby pot plant on your way up stairs to collapse into bed realizing the next day this is not you house and the frightened family down stairs wants to who you are and why you are in their kitchen.
It should probably be said that,
WARNING THIS PRODUCT CONTAINS ALCOHOL AND SHOULD NOT BE CONSUMED BEFORE DRIVING AND OR DANCING
I started drinking beer when some very kind parents said why not give him a small taste? And my reaction to this my first sip of sin you ask? Well it was to recoil in distaste and resulted in a humorous (from my parents point of view) attempt get my taste buds as far from my mouth as possible. Sadly my hyper sensitive 8-year old taste buds were not ready for the concept of beer O clock and it was a few more years till I could embark on every beer drinkers ultimate quest to shut down their liver or enjoy the revelation of a chunder down under.
Scans forward ten years and I have now a basic grasp of some of the drinking do and do not, such as-
-Do not try the mates warm English beer without a label (It is probably not what you think it is.)
-Do not wash dry mouth out with a pale beer the next morning.
-Do mix beer with Fruit loops thus creating beerial
Now as a medical professional (With a PhD in furniture sales) I can fully and incorrectly say that this drink of miracles can not only make your singing better and make everyone else in the pub want to hear you sing twice as loud but it also (being a depressant) can cure the blues.
Yes the drink that predates most intelligent thought and has been successfully killing that very thing ever since is from this imaginary doctors point of view, a very good drink! Give a drunk a beer, a beard and a crowd he becomes a philosopher, give two strangers some of the drink and you have two new friends or a bar fight. It helps you form opinions on things you have never heard of before; it makes sport better and also makes books more intense. Who else here has been reading Lovecraft while tipsy and the different squiggly lines begin to dance about like a Zumba fitness DVD.
You know now that beer is good but there are a lot of different types out there. Which one should you drink? Since all of them is not an affordable or livable through-able answer here is a few different examples.
Fosters.
Do not be confused rest of the world! Fosters is not Australias beer of choice. Paul Hogan has lied to you. In fact a large percentage of Australia hates the drink and refers to it as something that will get me banned for it posting here.
Think of Fosters as a holiday attraction. The locals advertise and sell this spot so that the tourists stay away from the good spots, in doing so not spoiling the good stuff. So Fosters is the beer Australia sells to the world as we laugh hiding our good beer under our Akubras and in our kangaroos pouches as we then hop to work on Skippys back. (You have not seen a car accident until you have seen a multi kangaroo crash on a four lane highway.)
V.B or XXXX
Some might not like me saying these two are the same but they are both the cheap, not amazing but not too bad tasting, drinking mans beer. I enjoy A long neck of V.B as I do XXXX just remember Queensland and Victoria. N.S.W is the best state and Tooheys is a better beer!
Tooheys old
Australia has some strange beer names but at least a certain Sydney suburb has not built a brewery yet (Woolloomooloo, I did not make this name up) on to the beer.
A very nice stout beer, meaning that it is thick and fills you stomach when drinking for a long period of time. This beer also has the nice mild after taste of honey and happiness. I swear when this is being poured for you it comes out of the tap as a rainbow and
America, home of the free. I have a friend who quite likes Budweiser, we do not let him talk much, and he ensures me that it is a smooth refreshing beer. Maybe refreshing was not a good word to describe the beer my friend because to me it is water that you can get drunk off. Sure it does not taste horrible but what is the point?
To the Irish beer
Guinness
There is now a mark on my monitor because when seeing this heavenly pint I reached for it on reflex. I feel speaking any more about this beer would be redundant because I can assure you it is my favorite beer and trashing my credibility completely I even drink it from a can.
Heineken
The European beer. Everyone seems to know of this world beer and It being like most majorly mass produced things tastes like mass production. Good on Heineken for becoming the third largest brewer in the world with their no after taste beer but I shant tell you to drink or not to drink it. It is your choice.
Sheep Shaggers
No this is not a beer from New Zeland it is from Scotland and like its name it is a funny beer. I had a big night on sheep shaggers and for the next week I could only taste the very drinkable but flavorful beer. I recommend it but do not drink more than ten in a night unless you really like the taste.
So that is it a Dr.susse beer review. If you choose to comment do not feel like you have to be kind I am a big boy now you wont hurt my feelings, in fact be ruthless, list a bunch of things you would rather do than read another poorly thought out sentence of someone you will probably never meet. In summary thanks for reading.
"May your glass be ever full. May the roof over your head be always strong. And may you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead."
Old Irish Toast
