Dude your an idiot.

[Sexual Harassment Panda]

Sat in pub, cadbury's advert comes on the television.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TnzFRV1LwIo
Idiot: how did they get that gorilla to drum like that?
Idiot's girlfriend: ...you think that's a real gorilla?
...seriously.

 

[MiracleOfSound]

90% of my friends don't know where Ireland is. They also believe that this http://travel.nationalgeographic.com/places/images/photos/photo_lg_ireland.jpg is what all of Ireland looks like.

Then when I tell them it's next to Great Britain they ask, "Where is Great Britain?"

Lol in fairness though, 90% of Ireland does kinda look like that (yes, I am Irish)

 

[darkless]

"Dude glass is a liquid that's why old panes are thinker at the bottom"

He was deadly serious.

90% of my friends don't know where Ireland is. They also believe that this http://travel.nationalgeographic.com/places/images/photos/photo_lg_ireland.jpg is what all of Ireland looks like.

Then when I tell them it's next to Great Britain they ask, "Where is Great Britain?"

Lol in fairness though, 90% of Ireland does kinda look like that (yes, I am Irish)

He's right you know, most of 90% of Ireland is grassland and forests.

 

[Aerophyre]

My sister called me one time to tell me she thought our dog was magic because she let him out the back door and a few minutes later he was at the front door. Mind you my sister is SIXTEEN!

Ill give you one of my personal better brain farts:

I was in a very VERY large lecture when the teacher asked a very simple open question: 'What language did they speak in ancient Rome?' My mouth happened to be working MUCH faster than my brain at this point and I blurted out in front of about 120 people 'ROMAN!'

The answer, for those of you who dont know, is Latin.

 

[Irridium]

Nice link. Its a Joke Site.

maybe it is, but this site [http://www.theflatearthsociety.org/forum/] actually has people in it who truly believe that the Earth is flat.

 

[Aerophyre]

"Dude glass is a liquid that's why old panes are thinker at the bottom"

He was deadly serious.

This is not an unheard of theory. I was in fact taught this in elementary school by a science teacher. It is wrong but I had to look up 'glass' in wikipedia to find that out. So... if thats the stupidest thing youve heard then I envy your virgin ears.

 

[Some bullets]

Funniest I remember is a girl once arugued there is 54 states of america one being canada the other being puerto rico. I also convinced her I won an olympic gold medal in 1984. I then explained that this was impossible due to no time travel. she said then how did you do it? I anwsered time machine. This was 7th grade and to this day she still thinks puerto rico is a state. We are Juniors now.

 

[darkless]

"Dude glass is a liquid that's why old panes are thinker at the bottom"

He was deadly serious.

This is not an unheard of theory. I was in fact taught this in elementary school by a science teacher. It is wrong but I had to look up 'glass' in wikipedia to find that out. So... if thats the stupidest thing youve heard then I envy your virgin ears.

Oh it's not the dumbest thing I've ever heard just the most recent stupid thing i remember this only happened two days ago.

 

[Zayren]

All of mine are from one girl in an AP class of mine. Why she was taking an AP class is beyond me. They need a little bit of explanation, too.

"Is ebola an immune system?" After discussing infectious diseases and different systems in the human body.

After discussing some dam project for Canada, discussion over a few issues arose. Mainly, displacement of large amounts of natives, such as the Inuits, and the flooding of an area as big as Germany. Now, of course, this girl says something like,"What? Why are they even making it then?"
The teacher, obviously confused, replied,"To supply the residents of Canada with cheaper renewable forms of energy..."
This girl, with all sincerity, says,"But there's only like four people in Canada!"

I can't remember the story, but she thought Ethiopian was a religion.

Also, without even making an "In Soviet Russia!" joke, she said,"In Russia, if you say anything bad about the government they will come and kill you!"



I wonder if she passed that class...

 

[TMAN10112]

Recently, my best friend moved across the pond to Switzerland. This being America, he was asked several border-line compleatly retarded questions in the time before he left.

Here's some of my favorites:
-"Is there internet in Switzerland?"
-"Is that in Europe?"
-"There's colleges there, right?"
-And the following conversation;

Girl: "Do they have computers in Switzerland?"
My Friend: "No, they use chisels and a fucking rock."

 

[ItsAChiaotzu]

I had to convince a friend that eggs were not vegetables. I had to convince another person that A) You could not dig to China, B) You can not stick something in one ear and have it come out the other, and C) You cannot float whilst meditating.

B) You can if it's a bullet X-D

In my friend's class, this blond girl suddenly says during a history class (I swear to god this is a true story!)

"Wait... the earth is round?!"

She then goes on to say

"That can't be! I am sure I have heard something, about someone falling out over the edge of the earth"

I really hope she never reproduces.
Also, your avatar has made me stare at it for at least five minutes.

I was just about to say the same thing!


Anyway, my friend frequently uses words he has no idea of the meaning of.

Examples include, Sporadically, and Reminisce, both leading to somewhat hilarious results.

 

[captain awesome 12]

A girl in History class was staring at a large classroom map for a good 5 minutes before turning to me and asking where Russia was...

My response? "The big yellow one that says RUSSIA on it."

 

[Aerodynamic]

"When i grow up, im gana be the quarterback for the lakers!"

 

[DogofRaw]

90% of my friends don't know where Ireland is. They also believe that this http://travel.nationalgeographic.com/places/images/photos/photo_lg_ireland.jpg is what all of Ireland looks like.

Then when I tell them it's next to Great Britain they ask, "Where is Great Britain?"

Hey! Thats my house!

For me, friends that say stupid things is a contradiction so Ill go with stupid things people have said before I walk away in disgust.

'But I saw Uri Geller do it!'
'I dont need evidence, I just know it'

 

[DarkRyter]

"isn't linoleum a jelly?"

Oh Sushininja, I'll never forget you.

 

[j1-2themax]

Unfortunately, I am probably the guy most prone to saying stupid crap (i.e. "R begins with W."

 

[MusicalFreedom]

"Some guys that look like girls are hot"

ah yes a statement proving his security in his own sexuality is dumb
this shit is ON
frankly, most opinions I see on sexuality, gender, all that stuff, are incredably dumb. had one girl saying that bisexuals don't exist. crazy.

 

[savandicus]

You sir, are wrong [http://www.alaska.net/~clund/e_djublonskopf/Flatearthsociety.htm]

I call shenanigans.

Also the science on that site, its hillarous. If only real scientists were like that, we would get so many more exciting and hillarous stupid theories.

 

[llewgriff]

We saw a picture of a woman with tree roots for a bottom half, and we started discssing that if you were going the have sex with a tree lady you'd have to screw the gnarly wodden gaps... yeah not exactly cultured conversation...

 

[Some bullets]

I had to convince a friend that eggs were not vegetables. I had to convince another person that A) You could not dig to China, B) You can not stick something in one ear and have it come out the other, and C) You cannot float whilst meditating.

Who says you CAN"T float while meditating?

You could be REALLY good at it.

Or just meditate while your in one of those wind tunnel things that have massive massive fans that make you float. Although the meditating isnt making you float, techincally you are floating while meditating.

What if you are on a boat while meditating???