Dumbest Things Customers Have Said

[Harkwell]

I work at a grocery store. Its big, the staff is friendly, and its much better than my last job at fast food. A few days ago I was out getting carts. It had been raining almost the entire week jumping from just drizzles to outright thunderstorms. As I was dropping off a load of carts I got approached by a man who looked a little mad. He then asks me why all the carts are wet.

At that point I think my brain did a mini implosion. I looked back outside and it was pouring rain. "...umm, its raining outside..."
Him: "Oh, right." And then he proceded to pull out a bunch of wet carts that were stacked together just to get a dry one.

Whats the dumbest thing a customer has said to you? Bonus points for working in the customer service department of where you work.

 

[King Ramen Noodle]

Western union.when i was at service desk i tell them that western union rarely takes money orders back and i always get "but it has western union on it". thanks for listening to the guy who knows 10 times more than you about this.

 

[Jakub324]

I used to work in a charity shop, and one day, I was on the till. One lady approached me and spent 20 minutes trying to convince me to sell this vase for £10 instead of £25. I kept saying "I'm sorry, but the price isn't going anywhere." She said "Yeah, but sometimes, in charity shops they drop the price" I said "That's true, but this item has only been on the shelf for two days, so I'm afraid the price remains the same". Christ she was annoying.

 

[Alfador_VII]

I don't have any of my own to add, but I know a place that does.

http://notalwaysright.com/

They've collected THOUSANDS of customer service stories. Warning, that site can swallow days of your life, and you'll despair for the future of humanity, and probably laugh a LOT too.

 

[twistedmic]

Once, when I was stocking at Walmart, near the pet section, I had a customer walk up to me and say "Ineedsevengoldfish." (All one word). It took me several seconds to realize that the man wanted seven goldfish. I then told him that I didn't work in the pet section, but that I would go find someone to help him.

And once while working at a Toys'r'Us, I had a customer come through my check lane and say "Gefforey told me was on sale." then she showed me the sale ad that she brought in.

Another Toys 'r' Us tale, the store was running a special/sale where if you bought an X-box 360 console, you got half off an X-box 360 wireless controller. One lady came up to my register (I was working electronics that day) with a pair of 360 controllers and got annoyed when she wasn't getting one at half price. I found a sign that spelled out the sale for her, told her exactly what was going wrong (i.e. that she had to buy a console to get the half off). She put both controllers down and left, only to return minutes later with the sale add that she got out of her car. I had to explain to her several more times that she had to buy the system for the sale to go into effect.

 

[Kopikatsu]

Woman: "Hey, these sprinkles look like crap."

Me: "...'Cause they're chocolate sprinkles?"

Woman: *Disgusted sound*

Edit: It was at an ice creamery.

 

[mysecondlife]

I used to work in Coldstone Creamery.

A customer came in with coupon and she wanted to get something of more value than what the coupon was offering. Obviously, I wouldn't let her.

Then she was crying and then said "You should really honor the coupon you know"

Irony...

 

[Strain42]

I used to work at a comic book store, this admittedly isn't a work story, but he was in the store. His buddy was looking around and he was just standing by the counter and texting for about 20 minutes. Eventually he closed his phone, sighed, turned to me and said

"This texting stuff is just ridiculous, don't you wish there was some way you could just talk to the person without having to text?"

...I didn't have the heart to tell him.

 

[Athol]

[Working at a full serve gas station]
Me: "Hello, what can I get for you today?"

Customer: "Oh, do you know how to pump gas?"

I died a little inside when she said that.

 

[Armored Prayer]

Just had a dumb customer moment yesterday while working at a health food store.

Me: "Here you go mam, your shot of wheatgrass."
Women: "Do you actually grow your grass here?"
Me: "Uh... no?"
*Woman leaves*
Me: "Yeah we have our own garden outback with enough grass to sell for the whole year."

 

[damselgaming]

I work for a utilities company:

CUSTOMER: I don't care what you say, I am not paying my bill. I think it's not important.
ME: Sir, electricity and gas come much higher on a priorites list than luxuries-
CUSTOMER: I think my children would much rather have Sky+ than electricity!

... sigh

 

[ThaPauly]

I work at a bar in Illinois with a 4am license, I could write a book involving the stupid things I hear from people. This isn't the dumbest thing I've ever heard, but it is the most recent. I was pouring shots for a guy, and he wanted them bigger. Now, people looking to be hooked up for nothing being the first words out of their mouth is no big shocker. But after I said "No", he threw me for a loop when he said "Aw, come on, I'm from Michigan". My head hurts just thinking about it.

 

[lee1287]

"Does this come in black?"

While holing a red pen.

Of course itdoes, you fool.

 

[ReservoirAngel]

I work for a utilities company:

CUSTOMER: I don't care what you say, I am not paying my bill. I think it's not important.
ME: Sir, electricity and gas come much higher on a priorites list than luxuries-
CUSTOMER: I think my children would much rather have Sky+ than electricity!

... sigh

Wow...people that stupid should not be allowed to breed.

OT: When I was working at my local library this guy came in to check out a shit-ton of audio-books. Now in my library, audio-books were £2 to check out unless you were over 65. This guy was no older than 30. When you scan someone's card in, it tells you if they're eligable for free audi-books. So I told him that all those audi-books combined would be £14.

He took offence to this, telling me he was a senior citizen. Now my computer VERY clearly said that he wasn't. I even turned the screen around to show him this. He still argued, claiming the computer was wrong. So I just said "you're not getting these for free. either pay for them, or put them back."

His response? To knock them all onto the floor and walk away as if nothing had happened. Then when he was intercepted on his way to the door by one of the ladies working there he went to turn back to pick them up then spun round and sprinted out of the door. It was...it was retarded.

 

[Bags159]

I used to cashier at a Kroger. I know I've had a lot but not many come to mind; it's been two years.

- I had someone who tried to short change me (she gave me a $50 to pay for a $1 pack of gum, and I saw she had smaller denominations in her purse) then deny it after she kept trying to confuse me by getting different forms of the change:
"Can I get this $30 in 10's? *Hands back $20* Can I get this $15 in 1's? *Hands back $10*" etc.

- "You look like John Lennon"

- "WOULD YOU BELIEVE FORGOT MY REUSABLE BAGS AGAIN? UHEUHEUHEHEUHEH" - out of half of the customers' mouths

I had a similar experience as a karter; "why are they all wet?" It's raining "why are they so cold?" It's snowing out.

That's all that comes to mind sadly.

I feel your pain sir, I feel your pain, I work as a bagger myself, and I've had similar responses.

My favorite are the people who ask for plastic bags INSIDE the paper bags. Or the idiots who can't let the food touch the conveyor belt but have to pass the items directly to the cashier.

Here's another one: "Please put all the cold stuff together"

It's idiotic, because that's what we're supposed to do. It's in our bloody orientation video. That's like asking a cashier to "please accept my payment of my valid cash" or something. >___>

What REALLY gets me going though is when people are too stupid to recognise that we have two different "normal" carts. One cart can hold up to two children (hence why it has two of the little flap things), while the other one is roughly 2/3 the size of the big one, and only has one flap.

You would not believe how many people put the small carts into the big carts, or attempt to do it vice versa. It's a nightmare trying to get them unstuck.

So I feel the pain of all the people working in the service industry dealing with stupid customers.

And everything in this post.

 

[ultrapowerpie]

I feel your pain sir, I feel your pain, I work as a bagger myself, and I've had similar responses.

My favorite are the people who ask for plastic bags INSIDE the paper bags. Or the idiots who can't let the food touch the conveyor belt but have to pass the items directly to the cashier.

Here's another one: "Please put all the cold stuff together"

It's idiotic, because that's what we're supposed to do. It's in our bloody orientation video. That's like asking a cashier to "please accept my payment of my valid cash" or something. >___>

What REALLY gets me going though is when people are too stupid to recognise that we have two different "normal" carts. One cart can hold up to two children (hence why it has two of the little flap things), while the other one is roughly 2/3 the size of the big one, and only has one flap.

You would not believe how many people put the small carts into the big carts, or attempt to do it vice versa. It's a nightmare trying to get them unstuck.

So I feel the pain of all the people working in the service industry dealing with stupid customers.

 

[LobsterFeng]

I used to man the phone at a pizza place. I got a call from a city asking if we delivered there, the city is a 20 hour drive from the store.

 

[Sniper Team 4]

I work at a returns counter, so I've heard them all. The most recent one:

Little 7 year old boy comes up to the counter: "Excuse me, I would like to buy Grand Theft Auto Eye Vee (Yes, he called it I. V., not 4. Poor kid)."

"Okay. Where is it?" I ask, while thinking 'Where are your parents, because I'm not selling it to you.'

"Oh, they said it would be up here." After about five minutes of asking, "Does anyone have Grand Theft Auto IV on hold anywhere (keep in mind that the kid kept correcting me saying it was I.V., not 4), I finally figure out that the kid never had the game put on hold, so I run over and grab a copy. Naturally, he never told me what system, so I grab a PS3, 360, and a PC one. Finally, his mom shows up. Chatting on a cell phone. I start ringing them up, and the computer stops me. We have to scan a driver's license for any M rated game, period. No way around it. I scan her license and she's still talking on the cell phone. Finally, I lose my patience and stop.

"Okay, look. Before I go any further ma'am, you know this is a M rated game, with violence, swearing, sexual stuff, and meant to be played by adults, right?"

Doesn't even stop talking on the phone. "Yeah, that's the one he wants," and points to the 360 version. I don't think she heard a word I said to her. Still waiting for her to come in screaming why we sold the game to her son, because I'm going to be screaming back.

Another favorite. Mom buying God of War for her eight year old, "Listen, I know it has blood, gore, and all that stuff, but I've heard that it also has, you know...(she was talking about that mini game with the vase)"
My thought: REALLY?! You're okay with him tearing arms off and dismembering people's innards, but nudity is too much?. My response: "Oh, that's an optional mini game. You don't have to play it."

 

[Amphoteric]

I used to work in a charity shop, and one day, I was on the till. One lady approached me and spent 20 minutes trying to convince me to sell this vase for £10 instead of £25. I kept saying "I'm sorry, but the price isn't going anywhere." She said "Yeah, but sometimes, in charity shops they drop the price" I said "That's true, but this item has only been on the shelf for two days, so I'm afraid the price remains the same". Christ she was annoying.

What kind of douchebag haggles in a charity shop?

 

[Bezz_Ad]

I work for as a customer service rep from a wireless company. So there are a bunch of stories.

A woman order a phone by mail.

"Yes, I have a complaint, this isn't the phone I wanted. I asked for a Blackberry and this isn't one. "
I checker her order, it was a Blackberry, and I told her that.
"Well, but it's wrong, this is blue, I order a Blackberry not a Blueberry."

---
Also, one guy had trouble pronouncing the brand of his phone:
"Sony Ercs... Sony Ecsson... Sony Erection"

Sony Erection, it could be a trusty brand in the adult industry.