Dumbest Way You Have Hurt Yourself

[CouchCommando]

Sitting at a poker table wearing nylon boardies, drinking flaming shots of spirits.
Not sure if it was the burns that hurt or the shame of seeing the photos of me walking around the party in nothing but my jocks.

 

[Owlslayer]

when i was younger i was playing around a fireplace that was outside, it was sort of a grilling corner or such near my summer cottage. Basically, the fire was looming, and i decided to throw a pair of old and broken sneakers in the fire. I don't know why i started to poke them with a stick, and one piece of molten plastic or whatever the hell it was flew on my hand. It hurt like hell and when i tried to wipe it away it got stuck on my other hand and burnt that too. I was pretty freaked out that it kinda burnt a small hole in my hand and not a drop of blood came out. The scar still reminds me that sneakers are pure evil.

And when i was 10 or so, i decided to ride down a hill in a broken washing machine. The result: A metal thingy made a cut in my face quite deep. And only after a few years i realized just how close it was to my left eye...just a few centimeters more and i would have been a cyclops. Creepy. But at least i now have a kick-ass scar on my face. But it can only been seen when i smile or strain my facial muscles.

Yeah, i wasn't very smart back then.

 

[Leemaster777]

Well, there was the time I accidentally slammed my dick in a desk drawer... don't ask. The only comment I have on the subject is that you should never wear loose-fitting pants while fixing your computer.

 

[Artina89]

This actually happened to my dad, as I can't remember a dumb way that I hurt myself, but it was one of dad's friends birthday and they had a party. Anyway, there was a building site near my dad's workplace (where the party was taking place) so my dad and his buddies sneaked in there and no-one quite knows what happened, but my dad ended up in hospital with a broken nose after being hit in the face, presumably with a brick. My mum was really pissed at him, and holds it up as an example when my brother or I do something stupid.

 

[ceeqanguel]

Any gun owner will nod and say: "Yep! That's how you learn!"

First and only time I shot a crossbow with a scope. I never expected that much recoil and you can guess the rest. I woke up 5 minutes later with the most spectacular black eye.

 

[cryogeist]

i was walking down the hall in school trip smash my head on someones locker bounse off that hit someones shoe and have them close there locker on me......hard

 

[Ren3004]

I once got a scar on my finger because I decided it would be a good idea to destroy a paper airplane with a box cutter. I stabbed myself on a fingernail with a pen while I was pretending to stab my friend. And I tend to hit my knee on a lot of things, which always ends with me grabbing it in excruciating pain. Oh, and there was this time I hit a light switch three times and got shocked all three. And to finish this post in the best way possible, once I thought it would be funny putting a laptop charger in my mouth. It took me a while to realize that the tingly feeling I had in my tongue was my mouth getting zapped.

 

[C95J]

jumping on my sofa when I was 6, fell off and sliced off the bottom half of my ear lobe. Didn't feel any pain because it was numb, but the blood was everywhere, got it stiched back on though with some type of glue...

guess I shouldn't jump on the sofa...

 

[JoshLalic]

I sat on my own finger in an awkward position and broke it.
It didnt heal properly and now its bent in an odd way.

 

[Onyx Oblivion]

I was in kindergarten, and purposefully stapled my finger to see what would happen.

What happened? Please tell me!

Blood. And pain. And one hell of an explanation to the school nurse.

 

[CINN4M0N]

There was a skate park, and inside that skate park was a bowl. I was there with some people, one of which had a skateboard. I had casually said "Ha, I'd do that!", when he with the skateboard replied "Go on then," and volunteered his board.

I stood at the edge, and looked all the way down. There was no way I could do that, and I said to myself "Simon, you're about to fucking hurt yourself."

But I was too proud to back down. I could not live with the shame.

[sub][sub]Yeah, I went to hospital.[/sub][/sub]

 

[CINN4M0N]

Ooh, someone at my church went home after school one day when he was 13. He slung a rope around a high cupboard door, and started absailing down the door. The rope fell, or slipped or something, and as he fell, the door handle got caught in his scrotum, which was torn open.

He had to go to hospital for immediate surgery.

 

[rxtri78]

when i was 4 years old or something like that i decided it would be fun to scrape a cheese grinder on my knee.

you get my point

 

[dochmbi]

When I get angry I bite myself.

Interesting, I thought I was the only one who did that. I'm not proud of it and I'm trying hard not to do it.

 

[Trotgar]

When I was about 4-6 years old, I was throwing a brick-shaped stone in the air.

I wasn't really thinking much, because I kept my other hand on a rock.

So, the stone fell on my middle finger, I had to keep a reinforcing metal-thingy on the backside of my finger attached with a bandage for a few days.

I actually still know the quite accurate whereabouts of the stone.

 

[Rickyvantof]

Opening an overhead cupboard and hittng myself in the head with it.
The pain wasn't so bad, but my mom couldn't stop laughing at me.

 

[Karlaxx]

Punched a brick wall when I was sent to the back of the lunch line by the dicks in front of me.

Yeah, the wall won that fight.

 

[Timberwolf0924]

Jumped a 4-Wheeler on a jump that even a more experinced guy said would be stupid. Ended up 5 days in hospital, with both shoulders blades and both collar bones broken. Also had a concussion and was giving away secrets while I was out. I don't remember 5 days of my life because of that, but people say I was talking.

 

[deedoubleyou]

This is both a story about how I hurt myself and how, what was meant to be a promising date, ended up in hospital ......

So anyway I was in my room preparing for this date, finding my least scruffy clothes and trying to make myself smell less like someone who has just spent 15 hours in bed. Anyway I had loud music on to get me in the mood for it and a rather damned good song came on. Normally when this happens I cannot help, no matter where I am, reacting to good music in one way or another and seeing as I was alone in my room one swift dance move seemed appropriate until, with an almighty snap, my kneecap rotated 90degrees and the lower half of my leg dislocated. Looking down at a leg bent the wrong way at 90 degree is fucking horrible so my immediate reaction was to grab it as hard as I could forcing it straight back into place with another almighty snap.

The resulting swelling looked like this;




I tried with the date, failed so we just watched a DVD, however once the swelling had reached the size it was in the photo I had to get my date to drive me to hospital and we sat there until 2am.

 

[General BrEeZy]

i've put staples in my arm with a stapler XD doesnt hurt as bad as you'd think

watched a substitute teacher named matt in my wildlife biology last year, he got banned from subbing at my jr high for doing it!!