dumbest way you hurt yourself

[Brandon237]

Just about everytime I've touched fire has been in a really stupid way, but I DIDN'T ever get burnt by fire, although I did burn myself badly on a light bulb I THOUGHT had been off for a long time, F***! It was stupid and sore... I've also once, out of the blue, randomly tripped during school, I fell flat on my face with ten people watching and nothing really even caused it, don't know how that one happened.

 

[Barziboy]

Shooting yourself in the mouth so that the shot rigs through your ears and comes out the back of your throat, only then to get with Helena Bonham Carter.

Hey, if it stopped Tyler Durden, then it can't be that Dumb.

Actually I think the opposite, I should have just run with it and see how far I would have made it with Tyler.

Oh well, the music was good after that.

 

[Gindil]

Cut open my right leg on a wooden playground...

78 stitches is no joke.

 

[gjkdioepppp]

When i was about 4 or 5 i jumped down the stairs and broke my leg.
A close contender is when i was wrestling with my brothers. I took a dive at one and broke my nose on the bedframe.

 

[NLS]

Accidentally dropped a glass, tried to catch it mid-air with my right hand, ended up punching it instead. Lots of blood and glass on the floor.

 

[ESCAPIST DELETE THIS ACCOUNT]

My trouser zipper and my .......
and when i was drunk and was sure i could deffinetly jump over the fire, unforunetly i tripped and fell....

 

[RandyPants]

Walking into the same poll twice within 20 seconds (submitted by a friend)

Holy shit, that happened to me too. I bump into a bollard, curse, look around, and wave sheepishly to my friends who're cracking up as usual, and then turn right around and bonk into it again.

Second dumbest way would be trying to fail-vault my couch and landing on my head.

 

[theshadavid]

I cut myself cleaning my scissors.

 

[Macheteswordgun]

Sex..... i didnt do it....... but.... dont ask...

 

[xXGeckoXx]

Jumped off a 10-foot bleacher to avoid a baseball. Shattered both of my knees. This is why time-machines need to hurry up and be invented, so I can go back in time and beat the crap out of myself for being so stupid...

A ten foot jump is pretty land-able no? Just fold sideways on contact with the ground.

 

[similar.squirrel]

I was hightailing it out of a school once [a friend and I were skating there, and the proprietors showed up] when I vaulted a little gate and fell straight on my posterior. It didn't hurt much, but hilarity ensued.

 

[xXGeckoXx]

Deseeding a fresh chilli with my bare hands. Hurt like fuck for three hours and I got some pretty bad chemical burns. And I was in the middle of the jungle so I could not wash it in milk (if you ever get chili burns milk has a protein that removes the chemical).

 

[theriddlen]

I accidentally kicked myself in the jewels... aww!

 

[DonMartin]

After whacking weed with a Katana for nearly an hour with no accidents, i proudly walk up to my cabin, realizing that im in complete control of my body and i am able to guide a blade past rocks, ground or other potentially harmful things.

However, while oiling the plade, it seems i dont realize that the blade might be sharp enough to cut through cloth. After a brief distraction, ive slid the distrubingly sharp thing halfways into my hand.

Its not stupid, really, its just the contrast between what i was doing and what happened.

 

[Nopraptor]

I almost chopped the top half a centimeter of my thumb off while eating an apple

 

[RooftopAssassin]

I was stapling a wad of paper over and over, and I guess one part of it was too thin and I stapled the paper wad to my thumb. It was easily taken out, but I hadn't eaten in a day so the blood loss almost made me pass out.

 

[w1ndscar]

Me and my friends thought it would be great to take airsoft guns and shoot at each other in another friends basement, I stood up only to get shot in the eye. Had my eyelid not been fast enough, I would've gone blind.

 

[Eumersian]

Oh, another one! I was trying to staple something, but it jammed. I opened up the stapler to pull out the bent staple, with my thumb carefully placed upon the orifice from which staples emerge. Right when I managed to yank the bad staple from the opening, I accidentally pushed down on the top of the stapler. Yep?

 

[DocBalance]

Jumped off a 10-foot bleacher to avoid a baseball. Shattered both of my knees. This is why time-machines need to hurry up and be invented, so I can go back in time and beat the crap out of myself for being so stupid...

A ten foot jump is pretty land-able no? Just fold sideways on contact with the ground.

See, it would be pretty land-able, and if I was anywhere near as athletic then as I am now it wouldn't have been a problem. But I did a sort of slide dive off the side and tried to use my knees to brace the impact. Old soccer habits that weren't exactly adjusted for height. So, when 250 pounds hits two kneecaps on concrete, pain happens, and happens very vibrantly.

 

[Da Joz]

I cut my tongue with a starbursts hard candy once.