Well, Though I'd take a moment to gather my thoughts from the first day of press conferences at E3. Agree? Disagree? What are your thoughts?
-Microsoft-
Halo 4 - Looks OK I guess; I've never been particularly into Halo. The demo did give me a strange kind of Metroid Prime vibe though.
Gears of War Judgment - Again, not exactly my cup of tea. Wait, People Can Fly's involved? Color me interested, at least.
Resident Evil 6 - Yay, Capcom didn't pull a Chris Redfield on Leon. Also, a lot of these QTE timers look quite generous - about which I will totally not complain.
Splinter Cell: Blacklist - Not quite sure how I feel. Seemed to be some interesting gameplay ideas though (as well as some ho-hum Kinect gimmicks).
Smart Glass - A clear shot across the bow at Nintendo. I personally don't care, and I think the WiiU Gamepad is ridiculously stupid - still, it'll be interesting to see how this all plays out.
Forza Horizon - Judging by the footage, it's a game about running over scenery a doing slow, awkward U-Turns. Stop going on about the music festival setting unless you're going to show it how it really matters...
South Park - Anticipation increased. I really want to see how this game plays out. My guess: it's Obsidian, so the writing and narrative will be strong, but it's Obsidian, so it'll be buggy, and it's Obsidian, so reviewers will mark it down for being buggy.
Tomb Raider - The newest trailer still makes me feel uncomfortable. The gameplay they demoed, on the other hand, looks really good, and actually makes me want to play it.
Ascend: New Gods - Nothing I saw really sold me on the concept.
LocoCycle - A pre-rendered "character" introduction. I have absolutely nothing to go on here.
Matter - Gore Verbinski's name and an art style cribbed from Portal are not enough to make me care. Try again.
Dance Central 3 - I don't care. I suspect most of the people who DO care aren't following E3.
Nike+ - Oh look, the Kinect's take on Wii Sports.
Black Ops 2 - Activision's flagship shooter title - and they show us future LA looking browner than ever before; I just got through defending the genre against accusations of being too brown, too. Oh look, obligatory turret section. Oh look, obligatory vehicle section. Oh look, your sniper rifle is basically the Farsight XR-20. Fuck you, Treyarch. Fuck you.
- EA -
Dead Space 3 - I guess Dead Space isn't even going to pretend to be horror this time around.
SimCity (the real one, not the Facebook version) - Looks pretty good, actually.
Battlefield 3 Premium - Oh boy, we get to pay nearly the price of a full game for what is undoubtedly less than a full game's worth of content, which you claim is "worth" even more. Bullshit.
SWTOR - The implication that they're going with content patches exclusively instead of having expansion packs (where MMO's typically hide their level cap increases) is nice - I'd feel more secure if they actually came out and said it, though. Also, one new warzone, one new race, and one new raid is kind of sparse content for the rest of the year - I hope you've got more planned, guys...
Medal of Honor Warfighter - Eh, it's another modern military FPS. At least there wasn't much brown... a lot of grey, though.
various EA Sports titles - Again, I don't care, and most of the people who DO care aren't following E3.
Need for Speed Most Wanted - Interesting, I guess.
Crysis 3 - Pretty, but it's Crytek so of course it is. Also, we already destroyed a dam in Bulletstorm, and the Bulletstorm version looked more fun.
- Ubisoft -
Just Dance 4 - Don't care, those who do aren't watching, it's going to make a shitload of money anyway. Someone tell Flo Rida that gold accessories and denim vests do NOT go together.
Far Cry 3 - NIPPLES! (But it's okay because body paint, I guess...) Tattoo! NIPPLES! Fire! Tigers! Explosions! Hallucinogenic knife! Pole-dancing Vaas! Seriously, what the fuck is going on here? Is this what happens when you give French-Canadians peyote or something?
Splinter Cell: Blacklist - See above, under Microsoft.
Avengers: Battle for Earth - For a game CALLED Avengers, I'm seeing an awful lot of not-Avengers (and not-Avenger foes).
Rayman Legends - Looks interesting and fun. Not interesting or fun enough to convince me to buy a Wii U, mind. Also, does a platformer really need a rhythm minigame stage?
Zombi U - Enough with the zombie apocalypses already! Also, a series of moving-camera still-scenes is not compelling, even if they ARE gory and on a Nintendo console. And no, Tobuscus, that was not a gun-sword, that was a bayonet, you ignorant philistine.
Assassin's Creed 3 - I think I may be sold on this.
Shootmania - I hope there's more to this game, because that match they showed was boring as shit.
Watch Dogs - Ho. Ly. Shit. I do believe we have a solid game of the year contender here. (For whatever year it comes out in.)
-Sony-
Beyond - Looks really good. Plus, the premise certainly seems to have room for David Cage's unique brand of batshit.
Playstation All-Stars Battle Royale - Looking good so far, though a lot depends on the final roster. Of course, this is Sony, so unlike SSBB, we stupid gaijin will actually know all these characters.
Assassin's Creed 3: Liberation - Not much to go on yet, but I think I like what I see.
Assassin's Creed 3 - AC3:PiratesAssassins of the Caribbean
Far Cry 3 - You know, I just noticed, these player characters soak up a LOT of bullets for people who don't seem to be wearing armor.
Wonderbook - Don't care.
God of War: Ascension - Are you trying to tell me there's Greek mythology that Kratos HASN'T murdered yet?
Last of Us - I was utterly blown away. Excuse me while I pick my jaw up from the floor.
-Microsoft-
Halo 4 - Looks OK I guess; I've never been particularly into Halo. The demo did give me a strange kind of Metroid Prime vibe though.
Gears of War Judgment - Again, not exactly my cup of tea. Wait, People Can Fly's involved? Color me interested, at least.
Resident Evil 6 - Yay, Capcom didn't pull a Chris Redfield on Leon. Also, a lot of these QTE timers look quite generous - about which I will totally not complain.
Splinter Cell: Blacklist - Not quite sure how I feel. Seemed to be some interesting gameplay ideas though (as well as some ho-hum Kinect gimmicks).
Smart Glass - A clear shot across the bow at Nintendo. I personally don't care, and I think the WiiU Gamepad is ridiculously stupid - still, it'll be interesting to see how this all plays out.
Forza Horizon - Judging by the footage, it's a game about running over scenery a doing slow, awkward U-Turns. Stop going on about the music festival setting unless you're going to show it how it really matters...
South Park - Anticipation increased. I really want to see how this game plays out. My guess: it's Obsidian, so the writing and narrative will be strong, but it's Obsidian, so it'll be buggy, and it's Obsidian, so reviewers will mark it down for being buggy.
Tomb Raider - The newest trailer still makes me feel uncomfortable. The gameplay they demoed, on the other hand, looks really good, and actually makes me want to play it.
Ascend: New Gods - Nothing I saw really sold me on the concept.
LocoCycle - A pre-rendered "character" introduction. I have absolutely nothing to go on here.
Matter - Gore Verbinski's name and an art style cribbed from Portal are not enough to make me care. Try again.
Dance Central 3 - I don't care. I suspect most of the people who DO care aren't following E3.
Nike+ - Oh look, the Kinect's take on Wii Sports.
Black Ops 2 - Activision's flagship shooter title - and they show us future LA looking browner than ever before; I just got through defending the genre against accusations of being too brown, too. Oh look, obligatory turret section. Oh look, obligatory vehicle section. Oh look, your sniper rifle is basically the Farsight XR-20. Fuck you, Treyarch. Fuck you.
- EA -
Dead Space 3 - I guess Dead Space isn't even going to pretend to be horror this time around.
SimCity (the real one, not the Facebook version) - Looks pretty good, actually.
Battlefield 3 Premium - Oh boy, we get to pay nearly the price of a full game for what is undoubtedly less than a full game's worth of content, which you claim is "worth" even more. Bullshit.
SWTOR - The implication that they're going with content patches exclusively instead of having expansion packs (where MMO's typically hide their level cap increases) is nice - I'd feel more secure if they actually came out and said it, though. Also, one new warzone, one new race, and one new raid is kind of sparse content for the rest of the year - I hope you've got more planned, guys...
Medal of Honor Warfighter - Eh, it's another modern military FPS. At least there wasn't much brown... a lot of grey, though.
various EA Sports titles - Again, I don't care, and most of the people who DO care aren't following E3.
Need for Speed Most Wanted - Interesting, I guess.
Crysis 3 - Pretty, but it's Crytek so of course it is. Also, we already destroyed a dam in Bulletstorm, and the Bulletstorm version looked more fun.
- Ubisoft -
Just Dance 4 - Don't care, those who do aren't watching, it's going to make a shitload of money anyway. Someone tell Flo Rida that gold accessories and denim vests do NOT go together.
Far Cry 3 - NIPPLES! (But it's okay because body paint, I guess...) Tattoo! NIPPLES! Fire! Tigers! Explosions! Hallucinogenic knife! Pole-dancing Vaas! Seriously, what the fuck is going on here? Is this what happens when you give French-Canadians peyote or something?
Splinter Cell: Blacklist - See above, under Microsoft.
Avengers: Battle for Earth - For a game CALLED Avengers, I'm seeing an awful lot of not-Avengers (and not-Avenger foes).
Rayman Legends - Looks interesting and fun. Not interesting or fun enough to convince me to buy a Wii U, mind. Also, does a platformer really need a rhythm minigame stage?
Zombi U - Enough with the zombie apocalypses already! Also, a series of moving-camera still-scenes is not compelling, even if they ARE gory and on a Nintendo console. And no, Tobuscus, that was not a gun-sword, that was a bayonet, you ignorant philistine.
Assassin's Creed 3 - I think I may be sold on this.
Shootmania - I hope there's more to this game, because that match they showed was boring as shit.
Watch Dogs - Ho. Ly. Shit. I do believe we have a solid game of the year contender here. (For whatever year it comes out in.)
-Sony-
Beyond - Looks really good. Plus, the premise certainly seems to have room for David Cage's unique brand of batshit.
Playstation All-Stars Battle Royale - Looking good so far, though a lot depends on the final roster. Of course, this is Sony, so unlike SSBB, we stupid gaijin will actually know all these characters.
Assassin's Creed 3: Liberation - Not much to go on yet, but I think I like what I see.
Assassin's Creed 3 - AC3:
Far Cry 3 - You know, I just noticed, these player characters soak up a LOT of bullets for people who don't seem to be wearing armor.
Wonderbook - Don't care.
God of War: Ascension - Are you trying to tell me there's Greek mythology that Kratos HASN'T murdered yet?
Last of Us - I was utterly blown away. Excuse me while I pick my jaw up from the floor.
